23 week prem baby programme channel 2 did anyone see it?

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clairelove

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??

all of what went on in the programme is what my daughter keeley went through the cpr, heart surgery etc.....

brought back many memories and i and hubby shed a few tears...:(
 

AudioHeart

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:( I'm going to watch it on iplayer tomorrow whilst sewing...
 

Toffeewoffee

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No i didn't see it, i like to watch all of those programmes, like one born every minute etc, i am very interested in all of it and see myself as a midwife in my future life.

Hope you are ok. xx
 
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I couldn't bring myself to watch it (we've had a few premature birth in our family) a family member's daughter was born 12wks early but she actually started bleeding/onset of labour at 23wks and was told that the baby would be classed as a miscarriage :( if born, for our hospital to try and save a baby it has to be born after 24wks.
In my opinion any baby is worth trying to save regaurdless of their age:(
 

MrsM

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I haven't watched it either. When I and my sister were pregnant, she started losing amniotic fluid after her amnio. But, because she was less than 25 weeks, they were'n going to do anything, just let nature take its course :(
She was then put on bedrest and delivered my nephew at 38+ weeks!

I might still watch it on iplayer
 

clairelove

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having had 2 babies born at 27 wks i have seen the amount of pain and suffering they go through at 27wks, so from what i know and have been through i really dont know if i would want them to resuscitate at 23wks the pain and problems they would have and go through would be horrid and its soooo not nice to see your baby crying in pain and knowing you cant even touch them as when you do their lungs collapse and heart stops. so not nice at all, after all alls they know after a week or 2 is pain :(

i do agree with a lady on the programme, she said more money should be put into preventing premature births than money spent on trying to prolong a 23wks old baby who will die mins, hours weeks later and all the baby would have known is suffering and pain, if the baby is lucky enough to survive baring in mind its 9 out of 100 babies born that will survive only 1 will reach adulthood with out disability, the other 8 have server disabilities where quality of life is not good and is unfair....

24wks gestation now this is different as the survival chances are alot higher as 1 week makes a huge difference to a unborn baby. but the problems again are very nasty ie their insides can burst , brain bleed, serverly disabled where unable to do anything or even talk, smile see, hear, sit up, walk, laugh, move, for me thats not a life, ive seen first hand the pain they go through and really its sooooooo not nice at all :( at 27wks
 
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Toffeewoffee

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I have just watched it on the iplayer. I found it very upsetting.

I have not had any children and we are not financially stable enough or in the right circumstances to even think about having children so i dont feel i can comment on wheather i would or wouldnt want to try to save a baby born so premature as i think you have to be or have been in the situation to voice an opinion on such a serious thing.

So sorry to hear you have experienced this 1st hand Claire, it must have been, well i can even begin to imagine what you must have went through.

This would be a good programme for irresponsible youngsters who have babies for the sake of getting a house and bennifits to watch, they all think you have sex, have a baby and live happily ever after, they never think that their could be complications during the pregnancy or even at birth which could result in the baby or even themselves dying during the process,they expect to have a healthy baby a "normal" (i don't like that word) baby, they dont expect that the baby could be born with a disability or could be handicapped and many many other very sad outcomes.

I'm not generalising and saying this is what all teenagers have babies for. I know of many teenagers that have had babies either purposly or by accident who are fabulous parents) I hope you understand where i am coming from.

Anyway rant over.
 

MrsM

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This would be a good programme for irresponsible youngsters who have babies for the sake of getting a house and bennifits to watch, they all think you have sex, have a baby and live happily ever after, they never think that their could be complications during the pregnancy or even at birth which could result in the baby or even themselves dying during the process,they expect to have a healthy baby a "normal" (i don't like that word) baby, they dont expect that the baby could be born with a disability or could be handicapped and many many other very sad outcomes.
I'm a teacher and every Fri afternoon I tell my kids: have a nice weekend, be safe and no babies! They think it's a joke but 2 or 3 of my girls have had to take the 'baby' home at the weekend as part of their Health and Social Education course and one of them (who's a little precautious) told me it's put her off.... for life!

A real, healthy baby is hardwork, but a sick/disabled one must be even tougher and unlike the 'school babies' you can't switch them off of give them back on Monday morning...
 

AudioHeart

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I'm currently watching it on iplayer, i was born at 31 weeks, , my mum had an emergency C section as she was bleeding heavily at the time- the doctors asked my dad if worse came to worse would he prefer the team to save me or my mum which wasn’t a nice experience for my dad, we both lost a lot of blood, and both where in hospital for a long time that was 21 years ago and the doctors saved us both i don’t know how you could ever thank someone enough.,..but i honestly don’t know what i’d do if i had to choose esp when the baby is that small, and premature i think the babies and families are very, very brave in both decisions . It must be very hard when you’ve carried that child within you for so long, to be asked if you want to try to save him/her. Its a very, very hard decision. I do agree that more funding should be directed to preventing, rather than prolonging.

Sad program. :(
 

Fudge and Rainbow :)

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I saw it and was crying, it was so sad. :0 Sorry you had to go through such a worrying time, thank goodness Keeley is still with you x
 
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I saw that, very upsetting!

I have no personal experience in this area - deliberately have no children yet, but planning on starting next year. My sisters have both had uncomplicated pregnancies, quick natural full term labours and healthy babies.

I have worked for years as a carer with adults with learning disabilities, many also have physical disabilities or physical health problems, so I've seen at first hand the quality of life restrictions these adults face as a result of their disabilities. There is a huge lack of funding for adults who need extra help. Current funding focuses on keeping them clean and fed (this applies not just to adults with learning and physical disabilities, but to old people, adults with mental health problems etc). Some stories in the media recently, relating mainly to older people, show those basics aren't always met. For me this is the scariest outcome of having a disabled child - the risk of her/him becoming a miserable adult when I am not there to fight for them.
 

daftscotslass

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having had 2 babies born at 27 wks i have seen the amount of pain and suffering they go through at 27wks, so from what i know and have been through i really dont know if i would want them to resuscitate at 23wks the pain and problems they would have and go through would be horrid and its soooo not nice to see your baby crying in pain and knowing you cant even touch them as when you do their lungs collapse and heart stops. so not nice at all, after all alls they know after a week or 2 is pain :(

i do agree with a lady on the programme, she said more money should be put into preventing premature births than money spent on trying to prolong a 23wks old baby who will die mins, hours weeks later and all the baby would have known is suffering and pain, if the baby is lucky enough to survive baring in mind its 9 out of 100 babies born that will survive only 1 will reach adulthood with out disability, the other 8 have server disabilities where quality of life is not good and is unfair....

24wks gestation now this is different as the survival chances are alot higher as 1 week makes a huge difference to a unborn baby. but the problems again are very nasty ie their insides can burst , brain bleed, serverly disabled where unable to do anything or even talk, smile see, hear, sit up, walk, laugh, move, for me thats not a life, ive seen first hand the pain they go through and really its sooooooo not nice at all :( at 27wks
But for me, as a mum, could you imagine not holding onto that 1% statistic and telling them just to give up on your baby? I was lucky enough to have a healthy baby girl born at term but I know I would do ANYTHING as far as her survival was concerned.

Obviously quality of life is an issue, I taught a girl last year who was born at 24 weeks and her only "issue" was mild hearing loss - she was by far the brightest child in my class. What if she hadn't been given full life support at birth? The bottom line is you just don't know.
 
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my eldest daughter was born at 27 weeks but she had stopped growing at 25 weeks. I remember looking at her in the first few days/weeks and thinking how, in terms of size and development, how close she was to not being considered 'viable'. It was the most upsetting. stressful time of my life - she spent 10 weeks on a ventilator, had heart surgery and came home after 15 weeks on oxygen. I felt like a TOTAL failure.
She's had various ops since then and we've had physio and occupational therapy and she's now a very happy, very healthy 7 year old, but I just couldn't bring myself to watch the programme the other day - mentally I can't go back there too much. 8...
 

clairelove

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But for me, as a mum, could you imagine not holding onto that 1% statistic and telling them just to give up on your baby? I was lucky enough to have a healthy baby girl born at term but I know I would do ANYTHING as far as her survival was concerned.

Obviously quality of life is an issue, I taught a girl last year who was born at 24 weeks and her only "issue" was mild hearing loss - she was by far the brightest child in my class. What if she hadn't been given full life support at birth? The bottom line is you just don't know.
i do see your point but 1 week in a fetus really does make a huge difference so the problems that a 23 wker and a 24 wker would have it differs sooooo very much, it is hard and i would probably ask the drs to try at 23 wks but i also think you have to look at how far you would go, ie how much pain you are willing to put the baby through knowing that the type of life they may have could be full of pain :( we were told after keeleys cpr for 2hours, that she could be severely disabled unable to do anything, luckly she is just profoundly deaf, has chronic lung disease, failure to thrive.

but the affects on the whole family are horrid when they are born so early and have so many life long problems, ie my oldest daughter age 9yrs old is suicidal and needs counseling from CAMS as she keeps saying she wants to stab herself, from age 3yrs old she suffered separation anxiety, with me been in and out of hospital for so many yrs she now has no confidence, doesnt believe my promises as i have had to let her down so much due to keeley been unwell, she now hates her brother who was also born at 27wks as this is when for her the problems started 6yrs ago, she wishes he was dead :(

holidays have had to be canceled many times days or even hours before your due to go, so they suffer with the upset and let down of not going.

and the hardest thing for them is not having their mum there for many weeks at a time and having no time for THEM....

i was home for 6mths out of 3yrs...

an thats with babies born at 27wks and the problems keeley still has, at 23wks the problems would be even more profound and you would probably live in hospital more than at home, holidays, day trips, and time with your other children if you have them would be a NOT possible at all...

you cant take your children to play centres for the fear of your ill baby picking up an illness, friends can not come over to the house out of fear, you cant show off your baby to family due to fear of illness.

also looking at your child and not helping but to feel sad that your child can not be like a child with out disability, can not run around and play, can not laugh, can not smile, can not sign, can not hear, and can not see, and most of all knowing that your child doesnt even know they have a name :( or will never hear you tell them that you love them, or they love you, you will never hear them say mummy :(

my friends little boy was born at 24wks and he is 9 yrs old and cant do anything he fits around 5 times aday and is on femarbarba medication, he cant smile cant move and cant talk cant do anything :(

and the biggest thing is knowing everyday with your baby maybe the last day :(

see your baby cry in pain everyday is heart breaking.

my daughters leg was burnt away from all the adrenaline she was given during CPR and her leg rotted away for 9wks and plastic surgeons had to scrape away the dead tissue, she cried in pain so much, we were then told she was going blind, she passed her 7th eye test and got away from having surgery and 2 wks later we were told she was profoundly deaf. she went through heart failure and needed heart surgery the same as in the programme, we sat there for 2wks waiting, waiting for her to live or die, she had a cover over her incubator as everytime light or touch was felt or seen her heart would stop and lung collapse she was that ill, when i asked why her heart would start to stop when she was touched and they said because all she knows is pain and everytime you touch her she think your going to hurt her :(

i do agree yes try at 23wks BUT also look at how far you would go and how much are you willing to put your child and other children through...

see when i had oscar in 2009 i was sterilised not because i didnt want more children but because i couldnt put katie my 9yr old through anymore pain and that i couldnt ever go through what i did with harvey and keeley again it really would kill me and i couldnt put my baby through that esp at 23 wks, i had to say good bye to keeley and get her christened may 10th 2006 and she too her bloods were not compatible with life, and i asked them to turn off her ventilator, thankfully the dr say no not yet, i am so glad they didnt and so very lucky she only has the problems she has now, as it could have been so much worse :(
 
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We are so lucky to have full term babies with no problems at all.

It brings up the debate wether its just selfish trying to keep a baby that young alive.... what quality of life will they have one day?

All I can say is that I am sooo grateful that I was never in that situation with my son, and because of problems I've had during pregnancy and birth, with him, both of us almost died during birh, we decided to not test fate again, and not have any more children. I am petrified of EVER falling pregnant again!

There is nothing we would not do as parents to give our children the best, and to give them a chance in life, but is that what they would want?
 

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I have been lucky enough to have two healthy birth children [plus one adopted].
I watched this programme and I don't think think these poor babies should be given any more than the minimum help to survive, they must have to endure such pain, and the outcome is so bleak.
If the choice was taken way from the parents then I do think it would be much easier [if thats possible] to live with yourself after.

Advances in medicine can be great, but sometimes just because you can doesn't mean you should..
 
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doglovinpiggylover

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i do see your point but 1 week in a fetus really does make a huge difference so the problems that a 23 wker and a 24 wker would have it differs sooooo very much, it is hard and i would probably ask the drs to try at 23 wks but i also think you have to look at how far you would go, ie how much pain you are willing to put the baby through knowing that the type of life they may have could be full of pain :( we were told after keeleys cpr for 2hours, that she could be severely disabled unable to do anything, luckly she is just profoundly deaf, has chronic lung disease, failure to thrive.

but the affects on the whole family are horrid when they are born so early and have so many life long problems, ie my oldest daughter age 9yrs old is suicidal and needs counseling from CAMS as she keeps saying she wants to stab herself, from age 3yrs old she suffered separation anxiety, with me been in and out of hospital for so many yrs she now has no confidence, doesnt believe my promises as i have had to let her down so much due to keeley been unwell, she now hates her brother who was also born at 27wks as this is when for her the problems started 6yrs ago, she wishes he was dead :(

holidays have had to be canceled many times days or even hours before your due to go, so they suffer with the upset and let down of not going.

and the hardest thing for them is not having their mum there for many weeks at a time and having no time for THEM....

i was home for 6mths out of 3yrs...

an thats with babies born at 27wks and the problems keeley still has, at 23wks the problems would be even more profound and you would probably live in hospital more than at home, holidays, day trips, and time with your other children if you have them would be a NOT possible at all...

you cant take your children to play centres for the fear of your ill baby picking up an illness, friends can not come over to the house out of fear, you cant show off your baby to family due to fear of illness.

also looking at your child and not helping but to feel sad that your child can not be like a child with out disability, can not run around and play, can not laugh, can not smile, can not sign, can not hear, and can not see, and most of all knowing that your child doesnt even know they have a name :( or will never hear you tell them that you love them, or they love you, you will never hear them say mummy :(

my friends little boy was born at 24wks and he is 9 yrs old and cant do anything he fits around 5 times aday and is on femarbarba medication, he cant smile cant move and cant talk cant do anything :(

and the biggest thing is knowing everyday with your baby maybe the last day :(

see your baby cry in pain everyday is heart breaking.

my daughters leg was burnt away from all the adrenaline she was given during CPR and her leg rotted away for 9wks and plastic surgeons had to scrape away the dead tissue, she cried in pain so much, we were then told she was going blind, she passed her 7th eye test and got away from having surgery and 2 wks later we were told she was profoundly deaf. she went through heart failure and needed heart surgery the same as in the programme, we sat there for 2wks waiting, waiting for her to live or die, she had a cover over her incubator as everytime light or touch was felt or seen her heart would stop and lung collapse she was that ill, when i asked why her heart would start to stop when she was touched and they said because all she knows is pain and everytime you touch her she think your going to hurt her :(

i do agree yes try at 23wks BUT also look at how far you would go and how much are you willing to put your child and other children through...

see when i had oscar in 2009 i was sterilised not because i didnt want more children but because i couldnt put katie my 9yr old through anymore pain and that i couldnt ever go through what i did with harvey and keeley again it really would kill me and i couldnt put my baby through that esp at 23 wks, i had to say good bye to keeley and get her christened may 10th 2006 and she too her bloods were not compatible with life, and i asked them to turn off her ventilator, thankfully the dr say no not yet, i am so glad they didnt and so very lucky she only has the problems she has now, as it could have been so much worse :(
you and your family have experienced so much, it seems unfair sometimes this thing we call life
 
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I do see your point, as a mum of two I'd do anything for mine (and I dearly wish I could take away my youngests pain when her body swells and flares up) but at the same time if they were in constant pain with a high chance of passing away I'd be so torn.....do you let them go peacefully or keep fighting in the hope that something will happen or change.
I think anyone in that situation must be absolutely heartbroken :(, and it's a lot harder when you have other (especially) older children to look after too.
But I'm a firm believer in things happen for a reason and all I know is my relative who was born very premature (with lots of serious health issues and disabilites), brings so much love and laughter to our lives and she is a very special little girl who I love to bits :).
 
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