EmiliaAriel
New Born Pup
Hello friends. I’ve been following this forum for quite some time now but never had the courage to post anything. I have always found this place to be incredibly resourceful for Guinea pig care and support. I adopted a pair of boars about 2 years ago- they were my first pet guinea pigs and I have been in love ever since adopting them. About a day ago I lost one of them to GDV. It was very unexpected and really crushed me. I’m no stranger to loss, my father and sister died due to COVID, my close friend Jon was killed in a car accident last year, and I’ve had many different pets prior to my guinea pigs. But these things never prepare you for future losses. I monitor my pigs very closely, and the day Bub died there were absolutely no signs of illness or discomfort until the very last minute. The GDV escalated very quickly and it was a matter of an hour before I realized something was wrong and we rushed him to the nearest MSPCA Angell medical center. The staff and vet were incredibly kind and supportive. But as soon as the X-rays were taken it was very clear that the only option was to euthanize him. It was an awful image of gas built up and twisted/crushed organs. I couldn’t believe (and still can’t comprehend) how this happened. As I held him in my arms we discussed what to do with his remains, which was torture. We were allowed lots of time in a private room to decide on what to do. I really didn’t think I could give him up- though I knew the humane thing to do was end his pain. He was very active and happy all day, eating and pooping plenty, zooming around and popcorning. I was really caught off guard. Him and his brother have been an like emotional support animals to me. I thought we had more time together….he was only three. I know very well that pets never last as long as we want, but again I wasn’t prepared for this kind of blow. We considered the surgery, but the mortality rate is very high and it’s likely he wouldn’t have survived the trip to the hospital. Him and his brother were a great source of comfort and joy especially during this time of tumultuous political turmoil. We had a safe haven together, and I really cherished every moment of it. They were going to be the ring bearers for my wedding this fall-certainly one of my worst or best ideas. The sense of loss is great and profound. I can’t bear to clean up his pen or throw away his chew toys. Him and his brother lived separately as they had a falling out which resulted in an injury about a year ago. Since then, their pens were divided by plexiglass so they could see and smell each other so they didn’t get lonely. They have a huge setup (7x3 feet for each pig) on each floor of our house designed the same way so they could play in different spaces. I wanted spoil them and give them the best quality of life I could provide. They are a species of animal that need all the help they can get, and if I could have my way I would adopt them by the dozens. Bubs brother Raz had to get surgery for bladder stones so I kept them on a very strict diet and kept a record of what I would feed them each day. We have a large enclosed yard and every day I would get fresh grass for them. When the temperature was right, we’d take them outside to romp around. I really thrived in this responsibility and was utterly devoted to them. I thought that by being hyper-vigilant there would be no more problems…..but as we all know, guinea pigs and very fragile creatures. I haven’t been able to overcome Bubs death, and sometimes I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt that I killed him. I haven’t been able to eat properly or sleep comfortably. I don’t have the stamina to work, do household chores or my exercise regiments. I didn’t anticipate this would have affected me the way it has. I’m still a good parent to Raz, but since I got them as a pair I still feel Bubs absence strongly. My closets are filled with cardboard I use to make them mazes and tunnels….I have two of everything….now just empty reminders of my loss. My routines of feeding and cleaning have obviously changed and it’s devastating. I can’t bear to clean up Bubs pellet poops…I miss him tremendously. While we are planning on adopting another boar, I feel like I can’t just replace him. There was only one Bub in this world, and he’s gone. It just hurts too much now. My husband is trying to help me as best he can, but he’s not as sensitive or invested as me…..more like Data from Star Trek (not as bad) which can be infuriating. Though I have a good support system of friends and family, and their intentions are well meaning, they regard it as a minimal loss….just a guinea pig, they die all the time…blah blah blah. I feel great pressure to just “get over it”, and shame for being so emotional. And since I can’t, I feel worse. This is why I’ve decided to make a post, to reach out to people that understand and can provide some kind of closure. Any advice or story sharing would be much appreciated and helpful during this time of grief. I am grateful for this community of people. Thank you all for your time.
You certainly have been going through a lot recently with a number of extremely significant losses. People grieve in many different ways, grief is a very complex experience to go through. It is said that pets are the only ones we can love unreservedly and their loss brings considerable pangs and sharp longing. Euthanasia, a gentle death, has to be considered under the terrible circumstances poor Bub was in. Pets bring us enormous comfort and the loss of a pet is an extremely sad experience. Bubs lived a very happy life with you, a fortunate little pig who was greatly loved and I am sure he knew that he was loved. Losing him is a big process in your life and you do need space and time to come to terms with this change. Human lives are complex. I am hoping that when you are ready you will be able to offer another lucky guinea pig a wonderful home, but only in due course and when you are ready.
