Advise please

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Claire W

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Ok, so this is going to sound like a cliché as I am writing this on behalf of a friend BUT I have just had a tearful long phone call from a friend of mine and I need some advise.

She is engaged to get married in the summer of this year but has just confessed to me that she *thinks* she has feelings for someone else :( I do not have a clue on what to to say. Apparently, the guy has no idea that she likes him but they are good friends.

To be honest, I have always had my suspicions that she likes him but as she has a fiance, I have never said anything :x

I think she wants to know whether she should come clean to her friend or not about her feelings before her wedding?

As selfish as it may sound, I have enough problems of my own to deal with right now but I don't want to be a bad friend :( xx
 

chrissy88

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My sister cancelled her wedding a few weeks before it was to happen. She never spoke to any one about her doubts/feelings. She Eventually said that she didn't feel the same about him and it didn't feel it was the right thing.
I think it will be really selfish of your friend to go ahead with the wedding with these feelings. She needs to figure out for herself whether her love for her partner is stronger than these feelings for the other person. And whether this person feels the same. Hard decision but the only person that can answer her is herself in my opinion.

Just to say my sister is now happily married with a baby due any day now.

Tell your friend to follow her heart. Soppy as it sounds.
 
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MintyAndGarry (TEAS)

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In my very humble, middle of the night opinion, I would say that your friend needs to follow her head. She only 'thinks' that she has feelings for this man and the fact that he hasn't said anything to her already indicates that he doesn't want to be any more than just friends.

In all honesty, she needs to be honest with herself. Does she really love her fiance? Is she just seeking an 'excuse' to break things off? I mean, we all do it, wonder what it would be like to be with someone, but if we truly love the person we're with then the thoughts of 'feelings' about that other person never enters our heads. If she does want to break things off, then she must do it without involving anyone else. If she is chasing after something that doesn't exist in the hope that it will do the ending of the engagement for her then she is on very dodgy ground!:{
 
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I'd say tell her to pospone things and see and she feels, if she's lost some feelings for the hubby to be it's not fair on anyone especially herself:(
 

Wiebke

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I completely agree with Minty - your friend needs to think things through for herself without involving anybody else and making a real mess for herself and anybody else who is affected.

In the end, she has to live in the marriage, so it is her decision whether she feels that she can go through with it or not. She also has to be very honest about whether the friend she has feelings for is likely to respond or is in a relationship of his own (which she might break into and wreck); or whether her feelings are just a projection of something unsatisfactory in her current relationship which she needs to address.
 
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