Bringing cremated piggies home 🥺💔🌈

[LouA]

Hi everyone.

A couple of weeks ago almost now since my baby Mika was put to sleep.

I cried several times a day and couldn't sleep well for the first few days, then slowly I felt better, my remaining piggy was doing well so I had to move in the right direction for him and at the end of last week went to a rescue and adopted him a friend.

However... today I got the call Mika's ashes were ready to collect. When I went I was handed him, his urn in a cardboard box, in a silvery gift bag. I looked in the bag and I just said "oh" I was feeling fine and I just got choked up. I then said "aww, thank you so much" to the receptionist and left. I went outside and I felt the tears coming. I had been fine for days but having him back with me, I knew it would bring back some emotion but I didn't expect to be laying in bed holding his urn. I feel so silly. Husband doesn't even know I brought him home today because he's a little weird about ashes so i kind of planned to give myself time with Mika first.

Those who had cremations and brought their piggies home, how did you feel? Also I don't know where to place him. My cremated dog is in her urn and she's been on the fireplace area since 2016. Maybe I should put him there also? He lived in the living room so kind of feels right to keep him there. I just knew I can't not bring him home, but I don't know where to keep him. Where did others keep their cremated piggies?

I am so emotional but there's a feeling of being whole again because I can feel he is home and it's nice, but I'm also feeling every emotion I did in those initial days and it is so hard.

Thanks everyone

 

[Livia Rabideau]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is no fun bringing them home in a bag. However, I always feel better once they are home. I always cry. Especially when I see the paw print and hair clipping. Ugh. Never gets easier .

 

[Betsy]

Meg is the only piggy I had cremated. I put her in the piggy burial ground in my garden. It's beautiful there in the Spring with all the flowers.

 

[Claire W]

I am very sorry that it’s upset you so much but Mika is home now.

I usually bury my rainbow piggies in plant pots but had Edward cremated as he passed at my friends house 160 miles away. It was weird receiving his ashes by post. My husband is a bit weird about having ashes in the house so I split them and buried half in Emma’s plant pot and half in Ellen’s plant pot as they were his first two wives that he lived with x

 

[RosieLily]

Hi love, be gentle and careful with yourself. Your little one is at peace .

In my home, we never brought ashes home. I feel like that saved me, personally, from a lot of pain. I can't imagine what holding an urn feels like, it must be gut-wrenching. We would bury them as soon as we could so we would have a place we could go to, and they would be in their final resting place. Something about that made it easier to cope with mentally. I like the flower pot idea, if you don't have a special place somewhere outside.

Your heart is broken and your mind coping with loss. Cherish your little one with all your heart, but don't cause yourself any extra pain

 

[h_and_piggies]

I have had all my piggies cremated. It’s a relief to have them back but also it’s the finalisation that they have truly passed. I keep mine on a shelf all together in my living room. I live alone so I don’t have to worry about what other people think.

 

[Bill & Ted]

So sorry, it’s such a sad time for you. I think you will feel a little better once Mila is back home x

 

[weepweeps]

I bury my piggies in the garden. But I did cremate my beloved 16.5 year old border terrier. His ashes are in the living room with his collar and favourite ball. I actually felt happy once he was back home where he belonged. Take care.

 

[Swissgreys]

I have had all of my piggies cremated, and collecting each one has been different for me.
I don't think it's ever easy, but I do always feel a great sense of peace once they are home again and settled in a place that I think is appropriate.
But it's perfectly normal to have a huge reaction to this, as it's a momentous step in the grieving process which has no time limit.

I remember when I went to collect Eddi and I walked into the vet practice and the woman at the front desk was new (so didn't know me).
I managed to mumble something about being here to collect ashes and simply fell apart - honestly full on bawling in the middle of the reception area and totally unable to speak.
Thankfully (for both me and everyone else there) a vet who knew me walked out and immediately worked out what I was there for, so took me aside and found the ashes.
Sometimes grief just kind of takes you by surprise and that's ok.

I hope you find a good place for Mika in your home, and that having him back with you brings you some peace.

 

[Wiebke]

HUGS

Holding/receiving the physical remains of a beloved pet is always a shock. It makes the death become real and there is so very little left of them.
Please be kind with yourself. You can never foresee how you'll react and it can take you by surprise and overwhelm you. I am usually pretty numb at the vets and get the full emotional response only later on when I am on my own.

I have only ever had a few piggies cremated when it was the best solution under the circumstances.
Since the vast majority of my many piggies are buried around my garden or in more recent years in large planters. I have done the same with any ashes; sometimes waiting until another passing to place the ashes in the planter together with another piggy of mine.

What you do and when you do something about cremated pets is entirely up to you.
Please give yourself time to do a bit more grieving and allow your gut to make the decision for you as to the timing and where to keep them or what to do with them.
If you live in rented accommodation you may prefer to keep them in a way that allows them to move home with you. You can place them the room your beloved boy has been has been living but if you change your mind at some point or you have to find a different compromise with your other half that works for both of you then that is fine as well. Whatever you do, it has to feel right for you. With cremations you do not have the time pressure that you have with a physical body and you have the leisure to listen to your heart once the current emotional storm has passed. Try not to put yourself under any pressure right now and try not to make any important decisions before you are ready for them. Your beloved one will still be there whenever the time has come.

Death, Dying, Terminal Illness; Human Grieving and Bereaved Companions: Information and Support for Owners and Their Children