I was going to type this up, but got waylaid - experiences, mine to follow shortly I think.
Thanks Swissy, and thanks to everyone for sharing their own experiences.Thank you Reece for choosing to share your journey - I sincerely hope that after coming out to your family what followed was smoother.
One of my dearest friends for over 30 years asked me to be his female love interest, when he couldn't come out to his own family.
Thankfully it all ended well - he came out, his family loved me anyway, and to this day we all muddle along.
Ironically it was my own family who ultimately struggled to accept my friendship with a gay man - funny how life works sometimes.
I've always written the same when asked about it, honestly, might not be totally on board with some things, but I'd prefer people try to be genuine individuals than follow everyone else.One of my favourite things about the world we live in is the diversity of people. How utterly boring if everyone was the same.
Well said Reece. You shouldn't be a sheep and follow the herd. I'm not gay but I had a hard time at school with bullying and stuff cos I didn't fit in and refused to change for anyone. I'm me, I like myself and if you don't that's your loss. I used to feel awkward in social situations and still do to a certain extent. However I still have my 2 school friends I've known for over 40 years and have been very happily married for over 30 years to the only man that "gets me" and loves me for who I am.I've always written the same when asked about it, honestly, might not be totally on board with some things, but I'd prefer people try to be genuine individuals than follow everyone else.
I'm so glad you felt you could share on here and I know no one on here would ever judge anyone especially for their sexuality. I'm so sorry to hear your family hasn't been accepting. I am glad times are changing though and more people are accepting. I don't bat an eyelid if someone says they're gay, bisexual or trans etc. I only tend to not like people if they're nasty or not nice people in general.Deepest apologies to the lgbt+ planning group for hiding behind 'ally' and not being 100% honest. i hope you understand when you read this that i was too scared to be honest even 10 years later. Also i don't feel like i fit into one specific label or category which means it gets confusing. I wasn't going to post this and i've typed and deleted this a million times but Oh encouraged me to post this because 'why hide who you are' and 'it just might help someone'. As far as i'm concerned i'm very happy in my current relationship those who need to know know and those who dont dont. But he has a point, its a part of me that i've hidden the past 8 years. So here we go.
I've always known i wasn't entirely straight. Growing up in a very judgmental family with a religious mum and homophobic stepdad was hell. I came out as bisexual (though sexuality is bloody confusing and its probably more like somewhere between bi and asexual- i feel attraction to both genders but very limited sexual attraction towards anyone, sexuality i think is somewhat fluid and a spectrum to some degree) to my friends and it soon spread round the school. Lots of 'friends' disowned me and people started calling me a 'freak' and a 'weirdo' or telling me 'just pick a side'. a close friend was also bisexual and i decided to tell my mum that to see how it she reacted. 'shes just confused' 'you cant like both' 'i don't want you hanging around with her and no you definitely cannot sleep at her house' 'your a sinner, shes a sinner, your just saying this because she is, shes a bad influence'. NO. i stopped then, hid it when i did get a girlfriend and pretty much kept it a secret. Then i met my wonderful (male) OH, he knew my sexuality and was always fully supportive. As it happened my bloody family disowned me anyway because they decided they didn't like the 6 year age gap and i must choose him or them. id had enough at this point and accepted the loss. i still don't have a single family member in my life from my own family. Then it got worse, 'oh it was just a phase then' people would say? no attraction to women didn't dissapear because i had a male partner but i'm happy in my relationship so i didn't feel like i had to justify or explain. I'm so lucky he loves me for me, entirely as i am, he knows i love him unconditionally too and we are both truly happy. His family knows too, he was always open with them from the start so i didn't have to and they were all 100% supportive, infact when a member of his family came out they told me first because they knew they could come to me. the experience with family and kids at school stuck with me though to the point that to support lgbt+ openly i felt like i had to hide behind ally and that feels like hiding a part of myself, oh is entirely right with that, i should just be myself. This feels like coming out for the second time and i have all the same nerves i had the first time. Again lgbt+ planning group i'm deeply ashamed of myself for hiding this from you.
How horrible for you, I’m so sorry @eileen xxit is very sad that people still have trouble accepting diversity.i do not judge people for there sexuality.you take the person you see as they are.i have been bullied at school....some one set fire to my hair ! i have friends who are gay ,transgender,but i really do not care what there orientation is ,just good friends. Thanks for sharing ,it must have taken alot of courage.