@Claire W I am so sorry you are struggling and not able to access the support you need right now.
This might sound like a silly suggestion, but do you think a pen friend would help? You know - someone to exchange little handwritten letters with?
It isn't an instant fix, but sending and receiving letters can sometimes offer a nice distraction, and I think it is often overlooked in every day life with all of these instant ways to connect with people.
I am not sure if an occasional letter exchange sounds appealing or stressful - let me know as I have have a couple of pen friends and would be happy to add you to my list of people to send the occasional card or note to (snail mail).