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Getting A Little Worried

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katanamoon

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As part of a company "go above and beyond" type incentive, I've been chosen to go away skiing for a few days at the end of the month with a group of others from work. Now don't get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful and honoured to have been chosen, but I am getting more and more worried about it as it gets closer.

I love skiing. Skiing I can do all day. What I'm not so comfortable with is spending four days in very close company with a group of people (particularly the girls), some of which I know actively dislike me for no reason whatsoever, and some of which I can't help but get that vibe that they bitch about me behind my back.

I know that sounds awfully paranoid but I went to an all-girls school and, well, let's just say I didn't have the best time of it. I find it very hard to trust women in particular as a result, but you know when you just get that feeling that they act differently around people that they're friends with to the way they act around you? It's just stupid things like them getting all excited about all the new clothes they've bought and I'm like, we're going skiing for 3 days, all you'll need is ski stuff and slobby clothes to kick back in afterwards and then I get those looks like gawd what a loser.

I guess my main concern is the room share situation (we're in pre-arranged rooms of two) and just generally not wanting to feel left out. It's easy enough to rise above it at work because at least you can go home at the end of the day and relax in your own space.

Sorry for the waffling but I can't tell my husband because he just tells me not to be paranoid and that of course no-one hates me and I just really need to get it off my chest!
 

helen105281

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I completely understand, I used to worry about the same thing on school trips.
 

Chief Guinea Pig

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I have been there, (still am). It is a horrible feeling.
I think the only thing I can say is ignore them. You are a better and bigger person than them.
 

katanamoon

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It's weird though, I used to go on school trips regardless - I'm either getting worse as I get older or I've repressed the bad bits :roll:
 

katie-elizabeth

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I know exactly how you feel, I've been in similar situations whilst I was at uni. Unfortunately that's girls for you (not all of us obviously!) I used to crash the lads nights out sometimes because I knew it would be less drama! I'm not sure I can offer much advice though :( just wanted to let you know that we are always here to listen, so rant all you like! x
 
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piggyfan

Gosh, that does sound nerve wracking. Are you sure you want to go? Personally, I could not handle it but I am sure you are braver. I know what you mean about those kind of women as I never get on with women who talk about girly things either.
 

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Not really. I am just having to put up with it now. I am getting my counselling back though.
At least you've made some new friends now! Going out shopping with them soon! That will be fun.

I know that sounds awfully paranoid but I went to an all-girls school and, well, let's just say I didn't have the best time of it. I find it very hard to trust women in particular as a result, but you know when you just get that feeling that they act differently around people that they're friends with to the way they act around you? It's just stupid things like them getting all excited about all the new clothes they've bought and I'm like, we're going skiing for 3 days, all you'll need is ski stuff and slobby clothes to kick back in afterwards and then I get those looks like gawd what a loser.
I also went to a all girls school and like you, had a tough time! I find it really hard to get on with girls. Especially girly girls...I'd rather spend money on my animals than buy myself new clothes. I know its easier said than done but... I've gotten to the stage in my life where if its something I really love doing (you love skiing) I really wouldn't worry about them too much! Just enjoy what you love doing! Skiing! If they think your a loser who cares! Your there for the skiing! Ignore them and enjoy what you love!
 

Chief Guinea Pig

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At least you've made some new friends now! Going out shopping with them soon! That will be fun.



I also went to a all girls school and like you, had a tough time! I find it really hard to get on with girls. Especially girly girls...I'd rather spend money on my animals than buy myself new clothes. I know its easier said than done but... I've gotten to the stage in my life where if its something I really love doing (you love skiing) I really wouldn't worry about them too much! Just enjoy what you love doing! Skiing! If they think your a loser who cares! Your there for the skiing! Ignore them and enjoy what you love!
It will. On Wednesday. Was going out with two, but one can't come *cries*.
 
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Chief Guinea Pig

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That's still cool though! Going out with one! Maybe you can then arrange another date where you can all go out! :D or a sleep over or something!
Nice idea....Until you said 'sleep over' lol! I am anti-sleep over person. I think it is ok for under 10s. My cousins are always having sleep overs. They're popular, have a lot of friends (well they do talk posh and live in oxford I suppose) whenever they say those words I'm like 'Sleep over this, sleep over that, blah blah blah' Lol. It is hilarious to see my reactions when I'm with them. Always looking disgusted!
 

A&T

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Nice idea....Until you said 'sleep over' lol! I am anti-sleep over person. I think it is ok for under 10s. My cousins are always having sleep overs. They're popular, have a lot of friends (well they do talk posh and live in oxford I suppose) whenever they say those words I'm like 'Sleep over this, sleep over that, blah blah blah' Lol. It is hilarious to see my reactions when I'm with them. Always looking disgusted!
Hahahaha i'm 22 and I have sleep overs. Watch films eat junk food. Its the best way! Get to have proper conversations then! Never to old for a proper good old "sleep over"
 

Chief Guinea Pig

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Hahahaha i'm 22 and I have sleep overs. Watch films eat junk food. Its the best way! Get to have proper conversations then! Never to old for a proper good old "sleep over"
:ban:No entering piggy palace:ban:lol heh heh
 
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katanamoon

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You guys are one of the reasons I love this forum :) I wish everyone was as like-minded!

I think it's going to be very cliquey but at least there are a few guys going that I get on well with. I don't not want to go - why should a couple of narrow-minded individuals stop me from doing what I enjoy just because they can't accept that yes, I am a little different to them in terms of my interests but it doesn't make me better than or inferior to them

:rant: Grumble grumble :))
 

A&T

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I think it's going to be very cliquey but at least there are a few guys going that I get on well with. I don't not want to go - why should a couple of narrow-minded individuals stop me from doing what I enjoy just because they can't accept that yes, I am a little different to them in terms of my interests but it doesn't make me better than or inferior to them

:rant: Grumble grumble :))
Exactly the way to look at it! Go because you love skiing! I'm sure you're gunna have a wonderful time! If they wanna be all cliquey and narrow-minded let them! At least theres people you get on with that are going! :D
 

Julesie

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That sounds like my nightmare. Skiing I would love to do but I do all that I can to avoid people like that.

My advice is to try and find one person you find you enjoy somewhat and hang out with them. I try to do that in situations like that.

If you have wifi you can always blank out people with TGPF too. ;)
 

C&&Frank

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Nice idea....Until you said 'sleep over' lol! I am anti-sleep over person. I think it is ok for under 10s. My cousins are always having sleep overs. They're popular, have a lot of friends (well they do talk posh and live in oxford I suppose) whenever they say those words I'm like 'Sleep over this, sleep over that, blah blah blah' Lol. It is hilarious to see my reactions when I'm with them. Always looking disgusted!
What are you on about sleep overs being for under tens?! I'm nearly 19 and i'm havin a long term sleep over at heathers! But seriously sleep overs are great!
 
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Mother Hubbard

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I can totally understand.

Best advice I can give, give them nothing. Be a closed shop, give nothing personal away. No information means they have nothing to go with - no bitching with substance anyway...

Then because you've given them nothing, you have to do something else. You have to engage with them, ask them loads of questions, be interested in them even if your not, get them talking, compliment them, soft tones, be gushing. It's all about them. Honestly, they don't know what to do with that.
I find being completely different or reacting in a way that they won't be expecting, they will be totally surprised. Think of it as a game.
Oh and divide and conquer. Go for the weakest one. Sounds like warfare, it kinda is. It just means you can get through the few days, after all it's not a week, and if you're seen to be making a huge effort, may pay dividends when you get back to the office.

I've done exactly this. :gp:
 
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