Dear Harriet
I understand that you have been grossly insulted by Piggy Grandpa calling you a hamster!
That really is the worst kind of disparaging remark that anyone can give a guinea pig!
This will not do. You need teach Piggy Grandpa that being a guinea pig and being referred to as such is very important. Lily the Lawyer's (
@RosieLily) idea of giving toes a proper biting and nibbling is a good one as is the suggestion by
@Cheekypigs of snuggling under his chin and peeing down his neck. I shall have to make note of those excellent recommendations and also bring them up at the next Committee Meeting of the GPU.
I have looked at Leaflet "When You Are Really Insulted and What to do" and Page 6, Paragraph 4, Subsection 3.4.1a states that "under no circumstances should you be referred to as a hamster!" The leaflet recommends 2 options.
Option 1. Wheak as loudly as possible as often as possible and bite the bars of your cage (but not so hard you break your teeth!) to annoy your Slave so that she realises you are unhappy.
Option 2. Ignore your Slave completely and don't run up to her when food is either potentially around or is put in your cage (difficult we know but a protest is important) .
You know your Slave best so know which option is best for you. She may have put Piggy Grandpa right and told him that you were a guinea pig but he should have known that in the first place and not insulted you so appallingly. If you penalise your Slave she will not be happy so therefore will reprimand Piggy Grandpa.
Yours hoping that this wrong will be righted soon,
The One and Only Thea
Shop Steward
