Help?

lynnie_

New Born Pup
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Hello, I'm new here so I apologize if I put this in the wrong category, however I do need help. 10 months ago my guinea pig coffee passed away on March 29th. I had school that day and after school I went over to a friend's house for a couple hours and when I got back that same night I found her laying still..Before I went to school and the friend's house I made sure her water was filled, she had food and that her cage was clean. After that, while I was gone my mother would check up on her through the day and made sure she still had what she needed. My mother said that coffee was doing well the whole day, she was making the happy sounds she usually makes and popcorn's, overall just doing great. It was confusing as to why she passed. When I picked her up so I could do a burial there was a strange clear liquid coming out of her ears? I wasn't sure what it was and to this day I'm still confused, I blame myself for not taking care of her or neglecting her. I got her when I was in my worse place in life but she helped me get through it and I always tried my best to take care of her. I feel like it was all my fault and that I could've done better for her and maybe she would still be squeaking in the middle of the night wanting my attention.

She was the only one I had, I'm aware you're supposed to get another one or more so they don't get lonely but at the time I was trying to get more money for more space and for another one. However that never ended up working out..

Lately I've been thinking about getting another guinea pig, two this time, however I'm scared to. I'm worried that if I do get another one I'm only going to be replacing my Coffee. I feel like I shouldn't get another one because it wouldn't be fair to her if I was a horrible owner, I'm always thinking about it.."It wouldn't be fair if I treated the other ones better when I didn't treat her better first" I'm scared that's gonna be the case but I don't know if I'm overthinking it. I love them, but I'm still hurt that my first baby passed away.
 
Hello, I'm new here so I apologize if I put this in the wrong category, however I do need help. 10 months ago my guinea pig coffee passed away on March 29th. I had school that day and after school I went over to a friend's house for a couple hours and when I got back that same night I found her laying still..Before I went to school and the friend's house I made sure her water was filled, she had food and that her cage was clean. After that, while I was gone my mother would check up on her through the day and made sure she still had what she needed. My mother said that coffee was doing well the whole day, she was making the happy sounds she usually makes and popcorn's, overall just doing great. It was confusing as to why she passed. When I picked her up so I could do a burial there was a strange clear liquid coming out of her ears? I wasn't sure what it was and to this day I'm still confused, I blame myself for not taking care of her or neglecting her. I got her when I was in my worse place in life but she helped me get through it and I always tried my best to take care of her. I feel like it was all my fault and that I could've done better for her and maybe she would still be squeaking in the middle of the night wanting my attention.

She was the only one I had, I'm aware you're supposed to get another one or more so they don't get lonely but at the time I was trying to get more money for more space and for another one. However that never ended up working out..

Lately I've been thinking about getting another guinea pig, two this time, however I'm scared to. I'm worried that if I do get another one I'm only going to be replacing my Coffee. I feel like I shouldn't get another one because it wouldn't be fair to her if I was a horrible owner, I'm always thinking about it.."It wouldn't be fair if I treated the other ones better when I didn't treat her better first" I'm scared that's gonna be the case but I don't know if I'm overthinking it. I love them, but I'm still hurt that my first baby passed away.

Hi

I am very sorry that your thread seems to have gone overlooked.

The sheer fact that you are having such strong feelings of guilt is actually not an expression of how bad an owner you are but the opposite - just how deeply you care. As humans we are wired to reflect everything back onto ourselves, usually in a negative way if things haven't gone well.

These strong feelings of intense soul-searching, failure and guilt are totally normal for the onset of the grieving process. We all have them because we all love and feel so strongly responsible for our pets.



Starting a new pet (or family) journey is always very much a leap of faith because you will never be fully in control of it. We only ever have our pets on a loan that can be cancelled at any time. What is in our control is the happy todays in love and good care that guinea pigs measure their lives by. As long as you can provide those, you will always be ahead of the game and not fail your piggies.

Welfare is always an area where we can improve but it doesn't mean that we are bad owners because we are not in the tiny minority who is topping out at any given time. It is a lifetime's journey with loads of life lessons to learn. Ultimately, you don't grow by never setting a foot wrong but by making mistakes and learning from them.

The pain and doubts are an integral part of your own emotional growth as a human because it comes through our roots that ground us, which grow deeply in the dark, and not from a glossy surface that is devastated whenever rain fails to manifest because of its lack of deep roots. Fearing any mis-steps and avoiding to deal with any painful challenges means that you deny yourself the opportunity to develop coping strategies and gaining a deeper insight not just into yourself but also in understanding that we all struggle in our own way and not just you alone if you fixate on just the glossy 'public' surface and not what lies behind it.
 
Hi

I am very sorry that your thread seems to have gone overlooked.

The sheer fact that you are having such strong feelings of guilt is actually not an expression of how bad an owner you are but the opposite - just how deeply you care. As humans we are wired to reflect everything back onto ourselves, usually in a negative way if things haven't gone well.

These strong feelings of intense soul-searching, failure and guilt are totally normal for the onset of the grieving process. We all have them because we all love and feel so strongly responsible for our pets.



Starting a new pet (or family) journey is always very much a leap of faith because you will never be fully in control of it. We only ever have our pets on a loan that can be cancelled at any time. What is in our control is the happy todays in love and good care that guinea pigs measure their lives by. As long as you can provide those, you will always be ahead of the game and not fail your piggies.

Welfare is always an area where we can improve but it doesn't mean that we are bad owners because we are not in the tiny minority who is topping out at any given time. It is a lifetime's journey with loads of life lessons to learn. Ultimately, you don't grow by never setting a foot wrong but by making mistakes and learning from them. The pain and doubts are an integral part of your own emotional growth as a human because it comes through the our roots, which grow deeply in the dark and not from a glossy surface that is devastated whenever rain fails to manifest. Avoiding any challenges and avoiding to deal with any painful challenges means that you deny yourself the opportunity to develop coping strategies and gaining a deeper insight not just into yourself but also in understanding that we all struggle in our own way and not just you if you fixate on just the glossy 'public' surface and not what lies behind it.
Thank you so much, it's nice to hear that. ❤️
 
Welcome to the forum, I'm sorry I missed your post.
Maybe, when you're ready, you can post a tribute to Coffee on the rainbow bridge section.
 
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