@AelitaJezebelle please firstly let me apologise to you for the first half of my post which talks more about you rather than to you.
@SarahWonderland we are here to help people and their piggies. Please understand that help comes in all shapes and forms and sometimes rehoming is the best option for both pet
and person.
@AelitaJezebelle came on here and reached out for help whilst admitting that things may have gone better if things had been done differently as a pet owner, and that takes guts, especially with depression and I respect this person for taking this step.
Things are clearly not easy and neither is depression, and whilst some people find that getting a pet makes them get up and do the things they need to do, other people do not, and all it does is add to their depression because they feel that it's all too much to nurture an animal, and too much when things do not go right with that, it can make a downward spiral go deeper still.
@SarahWonderland mental illness can be as debilitating as physical illness and forcing yourself to get up and do what needs to be done can be really, really difficult to do. If you have ever known anyone who has it, when it takes this form or stage the natural reaction for the sufferer is to recoil from doing anything that they don't want to do.
I feel from the posts that
@AelitaJezebelle would feel a weight lifted by taking this piggy to rescue and has already taken that step towards finding one quite willingly.
It's like a lot of things, when illness or trauma strikes you don't know how you will react until it hits you and it's not uncommon for people to react by not paying enough attention to those who they care for in order to work through their own things. Depression can be a massive deep hole and when you haven't the strength yet to climb out, sometimes you haven't the strength to physically get up and do the things that need doing, and the person feels that they must concentrate on their own needs first. In this position, caring for another can go either way, it can make someone lift themselves up and give them a reason to do something regularly, which can be very helpful, or it can cause an even deeper hole through the extra burden.
@SarahWonderland there are times when encouraging people to stick it out only causes added stress, and pets are not something you can successfully care for intermittently. Please imagine if this were you, that you knew yourself that you could only do this part of the time, having the pressure of other people encouraging you to do something that has become quite difficult and knowing that there are consequences if you don't. You may feel that is what people are doing by encouraging a re-home, but actually the other scenario of being made to feel she must keep the piggy and make such a big and unwavering commitment of care could be worse.
@AelitaJezebelle I hope that nothing I have said is patronising.
@AelitaJezebelle only you can judge this, and it appears that you already know (and acknowledging this is actually a positive thing), but whether you are able to fully commit to your pet's care consistently and indefinitely no matter how you are feeling inside and outside, or whether you take him to the rescue, either way will be the right thing to do, by them, and by yourself. Anything half-way between will not do yourself or your pets any good. Personally I am glad that you haven't taken any offense to the suggestions of rehoming, as you yourself recognise that this may be for the best, and thank you for understanding that everyone here has your welfare at heart as well as Calvin's. By your own posts I too feel that it would be best too, for both of you as it does read that you feel bad about how often or how quickly you tended to them, and guilt is one more heavy burden that is not going to help you now on top of everything else. As you believe that this cycle will continue if you keep your remaining pig then you are doing the right thing by him, in looking for a rescue.
You clearly do care, and you are thinking of his needs. Perhaps you could ask your rescue for updates? It may be of help to you.
May I ask if you are receiving help and support yourself? Depression is a very cruel beast. When our pets cannot lift us out other people can help to show you the way and support you, but sometimes when you don't have the strength to go and see them it can be helpful for them to take the initiative with keeping in contact with you. Do you have anyone like that, hun?
As you clearly like animals but are unable at this time to fully commit yourself at all times, is there someone near you who will help you care for their pets with them? Someone who will let you round to sit with their cat or brush their dog. that kind of thing? Being with animals can help so much, but caring for them fully can be just too much of a burden. Perhaps there can be a half-way for you with a friend or a neighbour?
with 
