I just called to say I love you

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Beautifulmess

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Ahh i've had an evening of love songs and I feel so very romantic.

Today I went on www.swap-bot.com (swapping site) where I'm Beautifulmess and asked on the forums for peanut butter M&M's because my boyfriend loves them and they only sell them in the USA and have decided to swap with a few people to get him some for christmas just *** I'm lovely like that :) I also wrote him a letter about how much I love him and how he's made my life feel so much better.

He loves my pigs and helps me afford vet care and food. He even buys half my weeks shopping because I'm on Weight Watchers and it's expencive and I'm on job seekers, I can't wait to get a job so I can spoil him rotten, learn to drive so I can drop in on him at home randomly hehe. (He lives 30 minutes away and has to drive his parents cars to see me which they don't mind but it'll be nice when it's more equal).

I've had a lot of **** relationships, one where I nearly died and finally I've found someone who fits me.

We met on plentyoffish and our fish date consisted of feeding the ducks and going the cinema to watch Remember Me. He was so nervous he was shaking and I gave him a hug and held his hand straight away :) he asked me out 2 days later and we've been inseprable for 6 months nearly :)

My pigs love him and so do I.

Again, sorry if this gets on peoples nerves, I'm really loved up tonight :D
 

piggiewiggie

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aww thats lovely. Its great that you have met someone so special to you.
Hes lucky to have you too. I'm in a similar situation with my hubby. He pays for most things at the moment as I have clinical depression and cant work but even though i have been told this by specailists, doctors, and psychologists etc the goverment wont give me any money, so I'm going to train to do nails even though i should not be working and do them from our home, then i want to save up and give hubby a nice holiday somewhere to say thanks for everything.
p.s if your piggies love him too then he must be mr right!
 

Beautifulmess

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It isn't ideal to be dependant on him I know, I picked myself up in 2009 after another bad break up which made me feel like I was actually going crazy. I suffer with depression too, think it's pretty bad right now actually. It disappeared for over 4 months when I met him so I don't really know how to deal with it anymore.

Sometimes (mainly around my period) I think I'm not worth anything and he's bound to leave me like everyone else, I get such bad insecurities during my hormonal change but as soon as it's gone I'm normal and know he couldn't find anyone who'll love him as much as I do (I hope) I'm his first girlfriend and he's so in love with me it's unreal, i've never had someone match my insane emotions so well hehe.

Depression is something that can wear people down, so if we both have males that can deal with it and not blame us, I say we're doing alright :)
 

piggiewiggie

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I'm sorry to hear you suffer from it too. hugs. were very lucky to have our men! i feel like that round my period too, I'm on medication but i think the rush of hormones just tips me over the edge slightly!:)) I sometimes feel like he will leave me for someone 'normal' i feel a bit more secure now were married.:)) however he gets just as worried so i think were a good match!:))
 

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:))Aww that's really sweet. He does sound like a great bloke for you.

I suffer from depression too, not at the moment i'm just picking myself upp from a bad time right now but managing to get to work which is lucky for me. I really feel for you not being able to work piggiewiggie, the nail course sounds like a good remedy to the problem though as you can take things at your own pace -c

I have real problems with hormone changes near my period too, I feel like i'm going crazy, get really stressed and really hopeless and worthless. IT's such a horrible feeling and you never think it's going to go away. I wonder if anyone has any remedies for us? xx
 

Beautifulmess

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I always just now say it's PMS haha, as my boyfriend knows I'm 'normal' any other time, he just deals with it, but the way it makes me feel is so bad sometimes. and I'm afraid it's happening before that time of the month, like it's around 2 weeks maybe 1 3/4's but I'm starting to dip already. My doctor said they'd test for thyroid, came back normal yet i've heard nothing else about anything else.

My insecurities stem from very bad past relationships, I thought in 2009 I picked myself off, gained some respect and became more stable but I guess being in love is a unstable time for anyone and it takes the right man to make you happy and level. When love makes you feel unstable I don't believe it's right, I'm so glad this one does (unless my moods are playing up hahaha) :)

I just get irritable, moody, snappy and tired. I lose my interest in sex too >.<

I got his 2nd christmas present in the post today, DCFC wallet (his is falling apart and he LOVES football) :D
 

piggiewiggie

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I have to say i lose my interest for sex too alot of the time, i do worry he'll leave me for it. but its my medication, and i'd rather lose interest in sex than be suicidal. believe it or not i've had depression since i was 7 i dont know why, i have had a great childhood:) I also got trichotillomania at the same time (which means i pull my eyelashes and eyebrows out.) sorry if that makes anyone feel sick:(But its a genuine illness and i cant help it.
thank you piggiepal, I'm so sorry you suffer to.

Its good were all talking about it, you realise your more normal than you think
 

Beautifulmess

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Nah, the eyelashes thing is quite common I think. My mom plucked her eyebrows so much she has none to pluck now haha :)

I've been depressed since 15, I was in foster care but had a great (2nd family) who I consider my grandparents now, altho they are very judgemental towards me and I feel I am not myself around them. I think my depression started when my first foster dad died, it turned out he was a very bad man and did very bad things (to me included) but I didn't know that and it hurt so bad to lose someone like that. I wasn't even allowed to say goodbye as his family hated me and i believe still does.

After that, I became involved with a violent (very beautiful) boy who used to use mind tricks, cheat on me and mentally abuse both my and my mother, she was unwell at the time. She has scitzophrenia... after *** i met someone nice but I coudn't trust due to his UMPteen amount of female friends (in the end he left me for his female best friend, cheated on her a lot) and got me thinking he probs cheated on me but at the same believe he didn't actually have the time.

I then met my pea in the pod, just as messed up as me, just as self destructive and boom we self destructed to the amount I ended up being unwell and crazy for the best part of 6 months before pulling myself together (btw i finished with the 1st and 3rd one out of strenght) and now I have Daniel... and this time, 6 months in, nothing seems to be wrong...

We went to blackbrookbird park couple of weeks ago, there was this MASSIVE lemur teddy in the giftshop *** didn't look as if it were for sale but it upset me loads to not have it (I can form attachments to things quickly) so I spent the rest of the day depressed, apart from when i saw my dog. two nights ago he told me he tried to buy it for me but the zoo was demanding £300 claiming it was a collectable when if i were, you wouldn't let the public touch it right? Haha I found that to be the most amazing thing in the world... :)
 

piggiewiggie

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Wow, you have certainly had a rough time of it hun BIG HUGS.
But at least now you have your perfect guy:)

i went out with a guy when i was 14 who i was in love with in a big way, then he left me and it really messed me up for about 2 years before i met hubby. I found it so difficult to trust him and difficult to believe he'd stay with me because of my depression...(thats why the other guy left me)

I have one of the little lemur teddies they are so gorgeous! I'd love a massive one!
 

Beautifulmess

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I've never been left over depression altho the 2nd one did say I was just too much (mood swings and insecurity) He was younger than me by 2 years thought. His family hated me and took his inheritance away unless he finished with me, he didn't but we broke up around 6 months after anyhow.

Renate by A.Beautiful.Mess, on Flickr
lemur :D

Spent the evening with my boyfriend yesterday and it was so perfect, firstly we went out to get the extras we needed (20p activity yogurts) a smaller cassarole dish becauce mines too big for WW meals. and we found loads of discounted stuff for the pigs :) bushy topped carrots and such. Then we talk a slow walk through our towns park where he was intercepted by a cat (HE LOVES THEM) and I felt uncomfortable, I'm not a cat person at all :S lol we sat on a bench then walked some more and stopped under a bridge and he told me he couldn't see life without me anymore then we sat next to this statue of some famous person in our town (Isaack Watson I think) then walked around town before coming home to make sweet potato cottage pie and watch eclispe whilst talking about our first date and then fell asleep haha :) simple things are the best.

Did you say you were married? For how long? x
 

piggiewiggie

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awww its gorgeous i want one! your really pretty hun:)

We have been married since may 15th this year. I turn 22 this month, so my family kept making sure i was ready to get married. I dont think its that young! we've been together 5 years. were hoping to get pregnant soon, although we planned to have a baby before we had more piggies...not sure i will cope lol:))

That sounds like the sort of night we enjoy too, we like doing simple stuff. like cooking a nice dinner and then watching a good film and chatting.

He sound great hun, I'm dead pleased for you:)
 

Beautifulmess

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I think marriage is when you feel right for it personally :) I want to marry Daniel and he does me, we've planned and spoke about everything but are making sure we live together and have been in each others lives for a good few years first. As it's when you live with each other that you know the real person usually :)

Yes £300 they're asking for that ¬_¬
 

piggiewiggie

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Thats a good idea, we lived together for a while before we got married because as much as you love someone, you will soon notice little flaws in the person like not putting he rubbish in the bin, being lazy, not putting his wahing out for me to do!...i could go on:))
 

Beautifulmess

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Haha my boyfriend still leaves plates and rubbish around ¬_¬ but he does the washing up (badly) which I lovehim for, even at 21 years old my back kills from washing up.

I mentioned the dishes and such and he got better, altho left a glass in my bedroom and a plate in the livingroom lately. lol xxxxxx
 
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