I just feel... empty

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lilcavy7

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As you might know from previous posts my guinea pig patches died. Ever since i just feel depressed. I know i held him a lot but i wish i held him every chance i had , i have 7 pigs and i have to spread the love. I try my best to hold them all everyday but its really hard sometimes. I love him still and i miss him sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much i just cant believe hes gone. I feel even more terrible because i fell asleep the night before he died so i didnt get to hold him and the day he died i wasnt home so i didnt even get to see him. I feel so much guilt and regret for not holding him when i had the chance. I know i held him a lot but I'm so upset i cant remember the special moments. I wasnt ready for him to go, i miss him ... i want to snuggle and kiss him again. He died on the 29th of december and i spent my new years crying knowing he wouldnt be with me this year. The pain is unbearable i feel like I'm in a nightmare. I just cant shake off the guilt. I know he had a great life but a short one, he was only 3. Him and his family pigs have got to experience things no other pig has but i just wish i had one more secound with him. Since he died i appreciate my time with my other pigs even more( not that i didnt appreciate them all before) I just can take this guilt and grief and pain! It hurts so much i feel like I'm drowning.... I miss him so much... i just wana remember all the times i had with him instead of all the times i was away. I'm in tears writing this, i want my baby... i want him... and i wont get to hold him till the day i die.... i just miss him.:(
 
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*hugs* you poor thing.

what your experiencing is completely normal, its grief and all I can say to comfort you is that it will better with time and healing and eventually the cloud of grief will lift and your happy memories will become clearer in your mind. Right now the death is the freshest thing you can remember but all those happy times are still there just clouded in greif, it will pass, and you will forever have those wonderfull memories of your precious little boy.

Death is a cruel fact of life and greif is how us humans deal with it, all you can do is cherish the moments and never regret the things you think you did wrong, no one is perfect and we cant all be with our loved ones when they go but they know we always loved them and you were in his heart I'm sure to the very end.

Stay strong for yourself and your other precious piggys, time will heal and soon you'll be able to smile when you think of all the good times and the fantastic life you gave him for those 3 short years.

xx
 
I feel your pain, the years of good will far outweigh the moments of bad at the end, but still it hurts......x
 
I'm soo sorry about the loss of Patches. It's clear how it has affected you. It's definitely a hard time, but don't blame yourself. You might think 3 years is short, but in piggie years that's pretty long! Patches had a good life, and that's the main point. Never forget that. Maybe this thread will help you through the pain: http://theguineapigforum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7449&highlight=rainbow+bridge+poem

RIP Patches
Your mummy loves and misses you. Watch over her, and take good care of her. xxxxxx
 
Someone recently sent me this poem, I Think this poem may help you though this difficult time.

Don't think of him as gone away-
His Journey's just began,
Life holds so many facets-
This earth is only one.

Just think of him as resting
From the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
Where there are no days or years.

Think how he must be wishing
That you could know today
Now nothing but your sadness
can really pass away.

And think of him as living
In the hearts of those she touched
For nothing loved is ever lost -
And he was loved so much.
 
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