Dear The One and Only Thea,
We have been making as much noise as possible, including interrupting Dad's very important phonecalls loudly enough for the person he was talking to to hear. We won't let him forget!
He says, mostly muttered to himself, that he's got a bit of a problem later because there's something called a "Tesco order" arriving and he doesn't really want us to hear it arrive. We assume that means, despite his assurances he's only doing this so we don't end up unwell and at the vet (whatever "the vet" is), he's sneaking veggies into the house to disguise the fact they're here. We can't be having this.
The room we are in is rather warm but the wind is horrendous and we can hear it even with the windows closed, the windows are awful. We agree with Dad on this. So since he couldn't find the fan (or more accurately he can't get the fan out of a cupboard because there's a mattress in the way) he's hoaked out some packing paper for us and we're using this opportunity to scare the bejeezus out of him by making lots of loud noises with it.
Apparently he's also not going to get his washing done today because he had to put our stuff through twice, it kept refusing the spin the first time so he stopped it, added the cuddle cups he forgot to add the first time and then redid the whole cycle. Apparently it won't just do a rinse and spin. Serves him right, we think.
Thank you for your excellent letter,
Bann and Camowen, the starved Skinnypigs.