MissMyMishaPig
New Born Pup
I'm new to this forum, although I've seen the forum in the past, while looking for answers and similar experiences with piggies. I decided to join, because I lost my furry soul mate. I have 5 piggies and love them all, but this girl, was a very special girl. She was funny, quirky, loving, loved to give kisses and loved people. The first night I brought her and her sister home, I heard a loud 'wheeking' and I had thought something bad had happened and rushed to the room, only to find out that Misha just wanted attention and to be held. I fell in love with that sweet piggy that night.
I had such a close bond with Misha and I loved her so very much. She made my world a better place (they all do, but she made my world just a little brighter).
Misha was only three years old. She had so much more life to live, but I was faced with the very difficult decision of putting her to sleep, this past Monday, June 4th. I've been crying non stop ever since. The loss I feel is tremendous. I've lost precious fur babies and it hurts every time, but I am absolutely devastated and I feel like part of my heart and soul is missing.
When Misha was just over a year old, she developed an ear infection. I didn't know she had an ear infection until I saw her head tilting to the side and saw her fall down. Panic stricken, I rushed her to the vet. I thought she had a stroke. She was given antibiotics, I was feeding her critical care and it cleared up and she got better. Although, she was always just a tiny bit wobbly after that.
A few months after that, she had an abscess on her head and I rushed her to the vet again. She had surgery and I did her wound care and nursing her back to health, feeding her critical care.
Over the last two years, she had been in and out of the vets office for the abscess that never completely closed or healed after the surgery. She was put on antibiotics countless times.
On Friday night, when I got home from work, she seemed a little off. But then again, she got like that sometimes, ever since the ear infection. So, I didn't pay too much attention to it. She was still eating and drinking. In fact, she always had an appetite even when she was sick.
The next day when I woke up, I went into the living room to tell all of the piggies good morning as per usual and she was lethargic and just laying in her hidey house. Upon further inspection, I noticed she had a slight head tilt. Knowing how quickly these piggy's go down hill, I brought her into the vet's office. There was a new vet there; one she'd never seen and he didn't seem too knowledgeable. I had to remind him to check her heart and lungs. He did and said they were clear. He said she had an ear infection. Ok, I could accept that. She's had one before. She was sent home with antibiotics. I figured we'd do the antibiotics and critical care as usual and all would be ok in a couple of days, but Sunday, she got worse and on Sunday's the vets office is not open. There is an emergency vet, but past experience with them and one of my other pigs, was traumatic. The emergency vet isn't savvy when it comes to Guinea pigs and I think the visit alone, made my other piggy's situation worse, not too mention the stress they put my pig through.
So, on Sunday, she was doing poorly and I held her and tried to feed her all day. She wouldn't eat. It was like she couldn't eat; couldn't swallow. I held her for hours telling her how much I loved her and how she made my world a better place and that I was so thankful she came into my life. I didn't want her to be alone if she passed away. In fact, I had her in a carrier on my bed when I went to sleep and checked on her frequently through the night, just begging her to hold on until tomorrow so we can go back to the vet and ask to see the other more experienced vet.
She held on through the night. I called the vet first thing in the morning and got her an appt. In the mean time, I tried to feed her, to no avail. I kept her warm and cuddled with her while I told her how loved she was. I didn't want her to be alone.
Got to the vets office, and when he was examining her, she had no fight in her. She was quite the drama queen when it came to seeing the vet, getting her nails trimmed, etc. She was very vocal and you'd hear about it, if she was upset. However, she had no fight. I knew that this time, it was different. This time, she couldn't eat. This time she had no fight left.
I always tried to have a little hope, but when the vet said that at this point, it was neurological and that they could give her fluids sub q and an injection to ease the dizziness she was experiencing, it would only last for a few days. I was screaming on the inside, "Not my baby! Why her! She's been through so much! She's so young! She's so loving! She doesn't deserve this!". I fought with myself internally. I didn't want to lose her. How do I go on without seeing her everyday; holding and cuddling with her everyday but looking into her sweet eyes, I knew what I had to do. I told her, "Misha, I love you so, so much. This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make, but I'm going to let you go and be at peace, now. I can't be selfish. I just want to make sure you know how much joy you've brought to my life and how much I love you. I will love you always and forever".
She passed away peacefully in my arms.
I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. The guilt I have. Could I have done more? Did I give up too soon. The pain is unbearable.
I never knew how much joy these sweet piggies could bring to my life.
I looked online for pet grief threads and found one that stated to write a letter to your deceased pet (when it comes to euthanasia-although I suppose, it can help with other circumstances as well), to be as honest as possible and state why you put them to sleep and it would somehow help with the guilt. It helped a little. I got a little more clarity from it, but.... I still go through phases were I'm wracked with guilt and grief over deciding to put her down.
I just had to share. I figured, out of anyone, fellow guinea pig lovers would understand my pain.
Shannon
I had such a close bond with Misha and I loved her so very much. She made my world a better place (they all do, but she made my world just a little brighter).
Misha was only three years old. She had so much more life to live, but I was faced with the very difficult decision of putting her to sleep, this past Monday, June 4th. I've been crying non stop ever since. The loss I feel is tremendous. I've lost precious fur babies and it hurts every time, but I am absolutely devastated and I feel like part of my heart and soul is missing.
When Misha was just over a year old, she developed an ear infection. I didn't know she had an ear infection until I saw her head tilting to the side and saw her fall down. Panic stricken, I rushed her to the vet. I thought she had a stroke. She was given antibiotics, I was feeding her critical care and it cleared up and she got better. Although, she was always just a tiny bit wobbly after that.
A few months after that, she had an abscess on her head and I rushed her to the vet again. She had surgery and I did her wound care and nursing her back to health, feeding her critical care.
Over the last two years, she had been in and out of the vets office for the abscess that never completely closed or healed after the surgery. She was put on antibiotics countless times.
On Friday night, when I got home from work, she seemed a little off. But then again, she got like that sometimes, ever since the ear infection. So, I didn't pay too much attention to it. She was still eating and drinking. In fact, she always had an appetite even when she was sick.
The next day when I woke up, I went into the living room to tell all of the piggies good morning as per usual and she was lethargic and just laying in her hidey house. Upon further inspection, I noticed she had a slight head tilt. Knowing how quickly these piggy's go down hill, I brought her into the vet's office. There was a new vet there; one she'd never seen and he didn't seem too knowledgeable. I had to remind him to check her heart and lungs. He did and said they were clear. He said she had an ear infection. Ok, I could accept that. She's had one before. She was sent home with antibiotics. I figured we'd do the antibiotics and critical care as usual and all would be ok in a couple of days, but Sunday, she got worse and on Sunday's the vets office is not open. There is an emergency vet, but past experience with them and one of my other pigs, was traumatic. The emergency vet isn't savvy when it comes to Guinea pigs and I think the visit alone, made my other piggy's situation worse, not too mention the stress they put my pig through.
So, on Sunday, she was doing poorly and I held her and tried to feed her all day. She wouldn't eat. It was like she couldn't eat; couldn't swallow. I held her for hours telling her how much I loved her and how she made my world a better place and that I was so thankful she came into my life. I didn't want her to be alone if she passed away. In fact, I had her in a carrier on my bed when I went to sleep and checked on her frequently through the night, just begging her to hold on until tomorrow so we can go back to the vet and ask to see the other more experienced vet.
She held on through the night. I called the vet first thing in the morning and got her an appt. In the mean time, I tried to feed her, to no avail. I kept her warm and cuddled with her while I told her how loved she was. I didn't want her to be alone.
Got to the vets office, and when he was examining her, she had no fight in her. She was quite the drama queen when it came to seeing the vet, getting her nails trimmed, etc. She was very vocal and you'd hear about it, if she was upset. However, she had no fight. I knew that this time, it was different. This time, she couldn't eat. This time she had no fight left.
I always tried to have a little hope, but when the vet said that at this point, it was neurological and that they could give her fluids sub q and an injection to ease the dizziness she was experiencing, it would only last for a few days. I was screaming on the inside, "Not my baby! Why her! She's been through so much! She's so young! She's so loving! She doesn't deserve this!". I fought with myself internally. I didn't want to lose her. How do I go on without seeing her everyday; holding and cuddling with her everyday but looking into her sweet eyes, I knew what I had to do. I told her, "Misha, I love you so, so much. This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make, but I'm going to let you go and be at peace, now. I can't be selfish. I just want to make sure you know how much joy you've brought to my life and how much I love you. I will love you always and forever".
She passed away peacefully in my arms.
I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. The guilt I have. Could I have done more? Did I give up too soon. The pain is unbearable.
I never knew how much joy these sweet piggies could bring to my life.
I looked online for pet grief threads and found one that stated to write a letter to your deceased pet (when it comes to euthanasia-although I suppose, it can help with other circumstances as well), to be as honest as possible and state why you put them to sleep and it would somehow help with the guilt. It helped a little. I got a little more clarity from it, but.... I still go through phases were I'm wracked with guilt and grief over deciding to put her down.
I just had to share. I figured, out of anyone, fellow guinea pig lovers would understand my pain.
Shannon
I know the pain that you are currently feeling.
