Cryptillian
New Born Pup
I got Ollie and his brother Mocha from a shelter when he was just a couple months old, he was my first piggy. Just for context Mocha was my sister’s until she stopped helping me care for both of them so he became fully mine. I will admit, I was a kid and didn’t do enough good research at first, but after watching videos online when I got them I became educating myself and began taking proper care of them. When I first got Ollie he immediately bonded with me, he’d cuddle and fall asleep in my lap and loved to snuggle in my blankets. I got them because I’d been so depressed and I had no friends growing up (at the time I was about 13), I just wanted a buddy.
Ollie became the center of everything for me, I spent a lot of my time watching educational videos for fun and educating people. He started going blind at a very early age due to cataracts, he was a Rex so it’s pretty common, but that never stopped him from running around and getting into trouble. Before I had their massive 36sq ft C&Cenclosure I had them in a dog pen with a tarp on the bottom, and Ollie would always find away to open it as a baby and go on “nightly adventures”.
While he didn’t get it often, his favorite food was watermelon, I always had to clean up his chin after he ate things like that because of how messy he was. He loved to snuggle in blankets and wouldn’t relax unless I pet him and kept my hand on him as he fell asleep. He loved chin rubs and running around.
Two days ago I went out, that morning everything was normal, everyone was happy and excited I woke up that morning. I remember leaving and saying “don’t worry I’ll be quick so I can come back and clean” since it was a full clean/laundry day. I came home, went straight upstairs with my laundry and noticed Ollie didn’t come out to greet me. He was in his favorite house sleeping silently. I had a horrible feeling right away. I jumped into their enclosure and lifted the igloo and stroked him and I just remember I kept screaming for him to wake up. He hadn’t yet gotten cold, I’d just missed him passing away. He was healthy that morning, I didn’t believe he was dead at first. I almost went to call the vet, I just wanted to believe I could make it better. We think he had a heart attack in his sleep. His birthday was in 1 month, he was going to be 5. I was so excited, I wanted to do something special because I knew they were getting older. And now it’s too late.
Ollie got me through my darkest times. When one of my childhood best friends passed away I held him close constantly, he always made me feel better. When my uncle died I held him, when I was dealing with abuse I’d hold him, and so on. This past month, I lost 2 other senior pets (my betta and my hamster) and every time I cried I held him. I held all my pigs when I found he’d passed away, but they unfortunately have never been as cuddly (to no fault of their own ofc) and peed/pooped on my bed, probably from being so nervous from how loud I was crying. It just isn’t the same. I love my boys, but Ollie was so special. I just wish I could cuddle him again. I keep crying for him all day. I brought him to be cremated yesterday and hugged the box before I left. The woman was very nice and she said she was so happy to hear he lived almost 5 years because she said she usually gets guinea pigs that didn’t make it past 2. I know I cared for him well, I know I gave him a good life but I feel so much pain that I wasn’t there with him when he died. I wish I held him that morning, I wish I kissed him and cuddled him and gave him treats. It was just a normal day. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. I always pictured I’d get to say goodbye.
I always knew this day would come, but not like this. I wanted to be there, I wanted to hug him knowing it was the last time, I wanted him to know I loved him. I don’t know how to cope. I don’t know how to calm down because he was how I coped, he was always there and now he’s not and everything is so quiet in my room. Everyone is so quiet, when I woke up no one got excited to greet me, no one even flinched. All my pigs just stayed in their huts.
I am disabled and don’t have a good home life. My pigs are that escape for me, to feel like I’m doing something good and to feel like I can do something with myself. Every morning the second I would move Ollie would run out wheeking so loud you’d think he was an alarm. Right now it’s so quiet. I now have 3 pigs left, none even flinched when I woke up so I cried and cried all morning and I’m still crying now. When I walk up to the enclosure they don’t come up to me, they don’t come to sniff my hand or let me pet them. I feel so alone. I don’t have any human friends left anymore, I don’t really have any family, I don’t have anyone to talk to at all. I’ve cried so much that my eyes are bruised and painful, I didn’t even know that could happen. I made an account here just because I feel like nobody understands or cares about the pain I’m in, and I thought maybe people here would understand. I don’t know. I’m just hurting so much. I miss him so much I just want to hold him.
Ollie became the center of everything for me, I spent a lot of my time watching educational videos for fun and educating people. He started going blind at a very early age due to cataracts, he was a Rex so it’s pretty common, but that never stopped him from running around and getting into trouble. Before I had their massive 36sq ft C&Cenclosure I had them in a dog pen with a tarp on the bottom, and Ollie would always find away to open it as a baby and go on “nightly adventures”.
While he didn’t get it often, his favorite food was watermelon, I always had to clean up his chin after he ate things like that because of how messy he was. He loved to snuggle in blankets and wouldn’t relax unless I pet him and kept my hand on him as he fell asleep. He loved chin rubs and running around.
Two days ago I went out, that morning everything was normal, everyone was happy and excited I woke up that morning. I remember leaving and saying “don’t worry I’ll be quick so I can come back and clean” since it was a full clean/laundry day. I came home, went straight upstairs with my laundry and noticed Ollie didn’t come out to greet me. He was in his favorite house sleeping silently. I had a horrible feeling right away. I jumped into their enclosure and lifted the igloo and stroked him and I just remember I kept screaming for him to wake up. He hadn’t yet gotten cold, I’d just missed him passing away. He was healthy that morning, I didn’t believe he was dead at first. I almost went to call the vet, I just wanted to believe I could make it better. We think he had a heart attack in his sleep. His birthday was in 1 month, he was going to be 5. I was so excited, I wanted to do something special because I knew they were getting older. And now it’s too late.
Ollie got me through my darkest times. When one of my childhood best friends passed away I held him close constantly, he always made me feel better. When my uncle died I held him, when I was dealing with abuse I’d hold him, and so on. This past month, I lost 2 other senior pets (my betta and my hamster) and every time I cried I held him. I held all my pigs when I found he’d passed away, but they unfortunately have never been as cuddly (to no fault of their own ofc) and peed/pooped on my bed, probably from being so nervous from how loud I was crying. It just isn’t the same. I love my boys, but Ollie was so special. I just wish I could cuddle him again. I keep crying for him all day. I brought him to be cremated yesterday and hugged the box before I left. The woman was very nice and she said she was so happy to hear he lived almost 5 years because she said she usually gets guinea pigs that didn’t make it past 2. I know I cared for him well, I know I gave him a good life but I feel so much pain that I wasn’t there with him when he died. I wish I held him that morning, I wish I kissed him and cuddled him and gave him treats. It was just a normal day. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. I always pictured I’d get to say goodbye.
I always knew this day would come, but not like this. I wanted to be there, I wanted to hug him knowing it was the last time, I wanted him to know I loved him. I don’t know how to cope. I don’t know how to calm down because he was how I coped, he was always there and now he’s not and everything is so quiet in my room. Everyone is so quiet, when I woke up no one got excited to greet me, no one even flinched. All my pigs just stayed in their huts.
I am disabled and don’t have a good home life. My pigs are that escape for me, to feel like I’m doing something good and to feel like I can do something with myself. Every morning the second I would move Ollie would run out wheeking so loud you’d think he was an alarm. Right now it’s so quiet. I now have 3 pigs left, none even flinched when I woke up so I cried and cried all morning and I’m still crying now. When I walk up to the enclosure they don’t come up to me, they don’t come to sniff my hand or let me pet them. I feel so alone. I don’t have any human friends left anymore, I don’t really have any family, I don’t have anyone to talk to at all. I’ve cried so much that my eyes are bruised and painful, I didn’t even know that could happen. I made an account here just because I feel like nobody understands or cares about the pain I’m in, and I thought maybe people here would understand. I don’t know. I’m just hurting so much. I miss him so much I just want to hold him.
but you gave Ollie the best life full of love and happiness.
