I'm really struggling at the minute.......

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Briony_S

Briony_S

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i don't know what to do...

I've been off work since mid April due to anxiety and stress. I was most likely sturggling with my dad's terminal cancer I think that was the cause.. not 100% sure as i am still waiting for my councilling appointment as it is taking months. I have been precribed citopram or summat like that but it is not working and have been taking it for 3 weeks now.

My dad died a week last tuesday and i am much worse to the point where i can't cope with simple things such as making myself have a shower in the morning, hoovering, eating, washing up etc.. i manage to force one to two meals down myself a day but it is hard.

Now I have four guineas and a rabbit (rabbit is separate to guineas) and i feel they have been really neglected lately. they don't get cuddles very often and only get spoken to when i'm feeding / cleaning them out.

i wondering about sending them back to rescue i got them from but i know that will add to my greaving as i love them all so much. i feel like a really bad mum to them as they don't get the attention they deserve and haven't really since i have been ill.

Don't get me wrong they have food, water, veg, hay and toys so they are not been neglected but they are not getting my time or attention. I don't know what to do as i think although it will crush me that they'd be better off in a new home!

if anyone can give me some objective advise i would appreciate it! My husbnand says not to do it as i'll be too upset and that there are plenty of animals out there who are worse off than mine but i can't help but feel guilty!
 
I am so sorry to hear about your Dad :( Please allow yourself some time before making any big decisions-such as giving up your animals. From what you say, it sounds like they are well looked after-and really loved, too.

Animals are really good for making you feel better-so that's another reason to keep them!...well, I always think they do! (There is scientific evidence to suggest so-people with pets live longer, have less illness etc). Maybe allocate an hour a day to sit with them? It would probably benefit you and them! :)
 
aww sweety, i know how you feel, i've been off since last july. give the citalopram a chance, it usually takes 6/7 weeks to get into your system. i'm on it and i found it did help eventually. i know that the councelling takes ages, even as an emergancy case the waiting list can be months :( but i don't think you should rehome your animals. i think it will make you feel worse now and in the long run. i think as long as their needs are taken care of, they can put up with not being fussed for a little while. keep your chin up, you're not alone. if you ever want a chat, you can message me anytime. i was exactly the same this time last year, alot of stuff all happened at once and i felt like i couldn't do anything at all. i didn't get out of bed for days. but although i'm still off work at the moment due to anxiety, i've got myself into a routine around my animals. it's abig pick me up for me and i think when you start picking up (which i promise you will) they give you something to get up for x
 
Hi Hun I know how you feel. I've got a generalised anxiety disorder and am
On citalopram. I went private foe therapy it's been a great help.

I found getting my piggies have helped me get better.

Feel free to pm if you want to talk xx
 
The citalopram does take around 6 weeks to kick. You may find that what you have started on may not be the right dosage for you and your Dr may increase it in time
 
ok deep breath and if you are worried about the citalopram then talk to your doctor. This is the most readily prescribed antidepressant as it agrees with the most people however it was totally wrong for me and while it worked quickly it worked too well and I didn't feel a single thing, not even excitement. What dosage are you on? Doctors usually start at 20mg as a standard dose and usually this indicates that its not too serious. Dosages can go up to 60mg though and be combined with other anxiety medication if necessary. Talk to your doctor because although I would say 2-4 weeks for the medication to start working properly it may be that that particular medication isn't right for you. I've got to go back to my doctors as my anxiety is getting worse than ever now and I am getting heart palpitations quite often so I'm worried about all that. If you want a chat then feel free to PM me, I can't promise I will completely understand as you are reacting to devastating news and my depression can't be pinpointed to any one particular event so far
 
If you feel that a break from your piggies would help ,I could foster them for you until you feel better able to make a long term decision. I live near Garstang and have lots of piggie experience . PM me if you wish .
PS I have suffered anxiety and depression in the past so I know how you feel.
 
I'm so sorry about your dad. Big hugs.

Give yourself some time. It is early days and you need time to adjust to how things are and to grieve. It will take longer for the meds to help too.
It shows what a great piggy/ bunny mum you are that you are worrying about them right now. I would say to keep going as you are and things will slowly get lighter as time passes. Your animals give you structure to your day and you will appreciate those little wheeks and binkies even when things feel dark. They are being well cared for and you obviously love them very much.
 
i wouldnt give up on your piggies hon, i agree with the others, they are therapy, and i also think when you have a few piggies they get their own company and will not suffer from lack of cuddles, really i dont. I think you have had enough heartache recently, really sorry to hear about your dad, its a horrible disease, i think you need time to grieve its very early days...and your little heart will only be able to stand so much breakage at once :(

I think the offer from Christine is a great idea and a fantastic and kind offer.

Be good to yourself and take lots of care x>>
 
I am sorry about your situation. I lost my dad after a three year struggle with terminal cancer and it impacted massively on my life at the time.

If you think that you would cope better with a breather until you have the meds sorted out so far that the piggies will brighten up your life again, I would encourage you to take on Christine's offer so they are in a place where you can keep in contact and need not to worry - and can have them back anytime!

I would, however, urge you to not give them up completely. I have had to rehome my surprise babies due illness in the close family and have rued it ever since. It was a most gutting experience and not one I would like to repeat or recommend to you in your current state - it is guaranteed to send you REALLY into the dumps!
 
Couldn't read and not post something. I wouldn't make any decisions now, in the long run I think your animals will help you through, but it's not surprising right now how you're feeling :(
I'm thinking of you, in time things will become clear for you xox
 
Lady Kelly said:
ok deep breath and if you are worried about the citalopram then talk to your doctor. This is the most readily prescribed antidepressant as it agrees with the most people however it was totally wrong for me and while it worked quickly it worked too well and I didn't feel a single thing, not even excitement. What dosage are you on? Doctors usually start at 20mg as a standard dose and usually this indicates that its not too serious. Dosages can go up to 60mg though and be combined with other anxiety medication if necessary. Talk to your doctor because although I would say 2-4 weeks for the medication to start working properly it may be that that particular medication isn't right for you. I've got to go back to my doctors as my anxiety is getting worse than ever now and I am getting heart palpitations quite often so I'm worried about all that. If you want a chat then feel free to PM me, I can't promise I will completely understand as you are reacting to devastating news and my depression can't be pinpointed to any one particular event so far
Click to expand...

I'm only on 10mg for some reason so maybe i need dose upping? i am off to doctors tomorrow to discuss my sick note so will talk to them about it then! thanks
 
Briony_Y said:
I'm only on 10mg for some reason so maybe i need dose upping? i am off to doctors tomorrow to discuss my sick note so will talk to them about it then! thanks
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10mg does seem v low. I'm on 30
 
christine said:
If you feel that a break from your piggies would help ,I could foster them for you until you feel better able to make a long term decision. I live near Garstang and have lots of piggie experience . PM me if you wish .
PS I have suffered anxiety and depression in the past so I know how you feel.
Click to expand...

Thank you for such a kind offer i will seriously consider it, i'm going to try give my self a mental shake tomorrow and try and spend some time with them as well and if weather permits i may get the runs out on grass to ease my guilt. will have a think for a few days if that is ok and get back to you x
 
Hi,

sorry to hear about your dad:( The grieving process takes time and at the moment you are suffering depression stemmed from your loss.

Regarding the piggies I don't think you should give them up, as long as their basic needs are being met they will be fine for a while whilst you come to terms with what has happened and you feel ready to move on.

I have suffered anxiety and depression in the past and have taken medication before but for me the only thing that worked was regular exercise and a good diet:)

look after yourself and the grief will pass and you will look back on your memories of your dad and oneday smile:)
 
I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad.

I can offer no advice, but hope you are soon feeling much better. Big hugs to you x x
 
Briony_Y said:
Thank you for such a kind offer i will seriously consider it, i'm going to try give my self a mental shake tomorrow and try and spend some time with them as well and if weather permits i may get the runs out on grass to ease my guilt. will have a think for a few days if that is ok and get back to you x
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Of course ,feel free to follow your instincts ,the offer will still be there.
 
As I was only saying today, we all grieve in our own ways and everyone is different. I am having a hard time coping at the moment so I know how you feel losing your dad but I take comfort in my animals - even if it is a quick cuddle or just a little chat.

I wouldnt rush into a decision, if the tablets take a while to kick in, in a months time you might feel different and want to spend a few minutes with your guys, they are great therapy and they will be ok if you are worried that they are not getting as much attention as you used to give, that can also change.

Ok I am waffling, sorry :red will shut up as not really making sense :red
 
You're in a bit of a quagmire atm you've gone through some huge emotional shocks and you need to get your equlibrium back..it could take a bit of time so don;t be too hard on yourslef (I'm 3 years on from my "deciding moment"...and I'm still not on the other side yet:red)

Take your time...baby steps...just know that if you are at all worried about the animals there are peepeis here (including me) who will transport/take care of them 'til you are ready to take them back

Conentrate on yourself atm....

...and I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss..it's tough for a girlie to lose her dad.....

Hugs
x
 
mshappy89 said:
10mg does seem v low. I'm on 30
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been to see doctors today and i've been upped to 20mg, had a massive panic attack today but i have some diazapam for emergencies only 10 tablets lol which i got given three weeks ago and only took 4 in total so far! so took one and that seemed to sort me thankfully they are apparentely really addictive so i am saving them for when i get to point where i;m really struggling to breathe like today. hopefully the 20mg will begin to sort me in a few weeks time!
 
Briony_Y said:
been to see doctors today and i've been upped to 20mg, had a massive panic attack today but i have some diazapam for emergencies only 10 tablets lol which i got given three weeks ago and only took 4 in total so far! so took one and that seemed to sort me thankfully they are apparentely really addictive so i am saving them for when i get to point where i;m really struggling to breathe like today. hopefully the 20mg will begin to sort me in a few weeks time!
Click to expand...

Hopefully the 20mg will help ease the panics too. I got told that 10mg is more of a therapy dosage. I think they expect a small amount of the drug, the placebo effect and time will do the rest of the work but if it wasn't working for you then you did the right thing and I hope you start feeling more able to cope soon
 
Thinking of you hun.

You may not feel it ATM but there is light at the end of the tunnel.I never though I would feel better.

I was so bad I couldn't get in my car because I would have panic attacks. 6 months later and I'm driving 300 miles tomorrow! Xx
 
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