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I'm shaking so bad.

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I feel sick, I'm waiting for my boyfriend to come round so we can go get my youngest nephew, its the end of my sister and her boyfriends 21 year relationship and things are getting rough :(
 
I've just been around there. He was arressed for attacking a police man. She seemed mad at me and the kids are angry, but after we talked and her best friend talked, she knows it's the right thing. We've just gotta see how it goes, I told her a lot I usually hold back from. About how she treats mom and how she's gotta change herself, her life and him! (e.g leave or give him the chance to change, which he won't)
 
That must have been a really hard decision but sometimes the person not right in the middle of it can see things more clearly so it sounds as if you did the right thing. Very brave and I'm sure your sister knows you only did it because you care about her so much.

Hope things settle down soon xx
 
Awwww I'm so sorry! :( what a horrible situation :(

BIG HUGS! XXXXXXXX
 
Alan&Barry said:
That must have been a really hard decision but sometimes the person not right in the middle of it can see things more clearly so it sounds as if you did the right thing. Very brave and I'm sure your sister knows you only did it because you care about her so much.

Hope things settle down soon xx
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This ^ You did the right thing, doesn't make it any easier for you to deal with, it must have been a scary thing to do, but things could have escalated in the future and you've helped prevent that! Once your sister has calmed down, and can think more clearly about the situation she will see this too. xox
 
I woke up anxious and angry this morning, I went bed around 2-3am and woke up wide away nearer 7am.

The reason? I ASKED my sister not to tell her boyfriend that I rang the police, the kids were angry and I didn't want them to know it was me, maybe I'm a coward for that but they wouldn't understand. I wake up to my phone vibrating and her boyfriend trying to call me, a voicemail and text from him. Nothing too abusive, just a simple, what you think your doing putting your nose in, i love *name* more than anything, you've made everything worse.

Excuse me? You're the one who attacked a police man, your the one who threw a steel toed cap down the stairs at my sister, your the one rowing and threatening my sister when my nephews who are still learning and growing up (16 and 11) are downstairs wearing headphones to TRY AND BLOCK IT OUT. How DARE HE!

I just lost my head and ranted and raved to my boyfriend as he drove to work and the to my mom. I feel like thats it, my sister has done this, she told him when I asked her not too, she's such a cow, trust me, she isn't this beaten up little women. She isn't afraid to yell and spit in his face, she's only scared when he's violent and then she betrays me.

If he ever speaks to me face to face, I will tell him what I think of his coward tail between leg ways, if she asks for a favour again, I'll tell her no, finally, I'm not being the bloody push over in this family again. Yes, ringing the police WAS the right decision, and I'm being punished for it, who do they think I am?!?! I've had abuse in my life, I nearly died in a violent relationship. Yet they think they can mold me however they want. Use and abuse both me and mom and then scream and cry about how terrible her life is.

She has a choice, she can leave or she can stay, everytime he threatens her and I hear it, the police will be there. I would do it for a complete stranger. I'm not going to feel guilty if in 2 years it goes to far and shes dead or in hospital. I have a backbone.


I apoligise at how mumbled and angry this is, I've done something I thought extremely important and then I got stabbed in the back for it by the only person I wanted to help, to show she had someone in our family that gave two cents for her! Even when she gives nothing back.
 
People like him will never look into themselves, they will always blame others (in this case you)
You did what was right, and he can go jump in a lake. If he ever threatens you, I would get a restraining order.
You have experienced where this can lead, when will he go to far?
Do not let them upset you, you are better than them
Poor, poor kids, I feel so sorry for them, as they do not have a choice in all of this.
 
huge hugs hun it seems you can't do right by your sister in her eyes. You did the right thing and if your sister doesn't appreciate it then do it for your nephews who are too young to do it themselves. Those children have a duty to be cared for and not be in an abusive situation. I know it doesn't make it easier for you but you did do the right thing and don't for one moment feel guilty or regret it x
 
I'm trying, I'm losing my anger now, she looks after her children well, they want for nothing, it's just the rows are explosive and her friend things my older nephew is at an age where he's going to stand in between them soon.
 
Beautifulmess said:
I'm trying, I'm losing my anger now, she looks after her children well, they want for nothing, it's just the rows are explosive and her friend things my older nephew is at an age where he's going to stand in between them soon.
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He probably will. My mother was in an abusive relationship when I was that age, and I also used to pray for it to blow over every time, but one night I could hear him beating her verry badly and I got up and pushed him away. He turned around and beat me too.
Its the worst situation you can EVER allow a child to be in!
 
Do you know what, I hope this doesn't sound patronising, but I'm so proud of you! You've done an amazing thing for your sister and nephews, even if they don't realise it now. Your nephews are lucky they have you, someone who can look out for them, someone that can see the situation from the outside and deal with it for them. Whilst your sister can only help herself, your actions may help her to realise what she has gotten herself into and see that man for what he is. It's a terrible situation for her, but even worse for your nephews who are witnessing and hearing things they should never have to. They didn't ask for this and like you say it's only a matter of time before they could end up involved in it xox
 
She tried to contact me today over facebook, I told her about Roger and I told her I couldn't speak to her right now because I'd been so angry. She said Roger worked it out that I rang the police, I don't know whether to believe that or not, my boyfriend thinks, if it's true she obviously didn't try and change his mind which is the same as telling him. I don't want to be mad at her but he's back under her roof and I still won't listen to the voicemail he sent this morning, frankly, I might let my boyfriend listen then delete it, I'd rather not know. I will just hate him more.
 
It must be so hard not to be mad at her, and nobody would blame you for being so. It would be so frustrating that she can't see what is happening is just not normal and not they way she or her children should have to live. She will thank you some day though xox
 
She sent me a text saying -
Hi babe, just want to say that I dont hold anything against you for what happened last night, your my sister and mean an awful lot to me, and I love you dearly x speak to you soon x
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I've decided to step down but I'll do the same everytime (police thing) whenever i feel my sister or nephews are threatened and he is no longer my brother in law unless he changes dramatically.
 
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