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Immensely Grateful, Heartbroken, Angry With Myself

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TheAurora

TheAurora

Adult Guinea Pig
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Firstly, and publicly, I want to thank @Poppy'sMum from the bottom of my heart for her ongoing support.

Also, my boss for his outstanding help today.

Casran needs lots of tests ... the reality is I simply can't afford them all. I've chosen tests which I feel will be the best to start with (lots of x-ray).

He my not survive the GA but if he does Sarah at Animates is going to look at his teeth (x-ray wise and in his mouth), behind his eyes, his chest and his abdomen.

She gave me a cheaper option of just trying different meds, but I'd rather try and get some answers at least.

The test I couldn't afford was blood works.

I said goodbye and I love you this afternoon and left them both with Sarah. If I never see Casran again, I will have does literally everything within my means.

Sarah was amazing ... I felt one hundred per cent confident with her.

The wonderful @Poppy'sMum is picking them up tomorrow and giving them a home for a few days until I can get back.

Now for the angry bit...

The £100 I spent at my own vet last week was the biggest waste of money. If I hadn't spent that I could have got all the tests done on Casran.

I'm angry that I don't have more money to spend on him ... I shouldn't have pets if I can't afford to care for them.

I'm totally broken - heart and soul.

I pray I'm doing my best :-(

EDIT: I should probably add, the main reason I chose the x-rays is because Sarah, too, wasn't happy with the look of his eye and is wondering if something is going on behind it. My logic was x-rays first to have a good look.
 
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Try not to be too hard on yourself. You're doing the best you can, and that's all Casran expects of you. He's loved and cherished and that's the most important part. Sending many healing wheeks from Albie and Percy xx
 
This is heartbreaking. You've done your absolute best that's all you can do. Casran knows how much you love him and he's looked after so well. I really hope he pulls through
 
I can only echo what the above posters have said . - Please don't feel angry. I know you will do whatever you can for Casran - and that is all any of us can do .
 
Oh no, please don't blame yourself for this :( You are one of the most caring, compassionate people I've ever known and we all know how much you dote on your beautiful fur-babies. I really, really hope that the tests will reveal the way forward, but even if they don't you should know that this isn't something that you could possibly have caused. Big hugs xx
 
You are such a wonderful piggy slave please don't blame yourself. We don't unfortunately have foresight and you couldn't know your vet wasn't going to be very helpful, you have done everything you possibly could and given that little lion a fantastic home and so much love. I have everything crossed for Casran to make a full recovery, you are in my thoughts and sending you big hugs.
 
It is always so much easier to judge a journey from the end rather than as the maze you have to tread blindly to find your way. Please do not blame yourself! You have and are still doing your very best. That is all your can do and all you are required to do as a loving owner!
You are neither the maze guardian or god, seeing it all from above and knowing the right way. As normal mortals we just have to stumble our way through life, taking the odd wrong turn or extra loop; the same goes for vets, too, by the way! The important thing is that we make the effort to try and work out what is the best we can do for an ill piggy and when is the right time to let a beloved one go, if that becomes a potential issue.

I am keeping my fingers very firmly crossed for Casran and you!
 
Oh you are doing everything humanly possible! I know what a horrible place it feels you are in right now, sadly most of us have been in this position & no matter what we do sometimes it isn't to be & fate takes it completely out of our hands :( I really hope Casran pulls through & Sara can help him, but I honestly know that she will try absolutely everything possible to save him, believe me :hug:x
 
You are a wonderful piggy mom, so don't blame yourself! Everyone has already said it, but I will repeat it: you have done everything you could.
Hope he makes it, and they find what he has, so he can be cured :hug:
Casran, mom and the whole forum are waiting for you to be back home safe! You can do it boy!
 
Awww please don't blame yourself I'm going through that myself just now and it is hard I'm having the argument in my head of should I have done more, what if I'd have done or not done certain things it's so very hard. The main thing is that you took your piggie for treatment some people who have pets don't even step foot in a vets so your a very caring piggie owner. Everything crossed for you x
 
Wiebke said:
It is always so much easier to judge a journey from the end rather than as the maze you have to tread blindly to find your way. Please do not blame yourself! You have and are still doing your very best. That is all your can do and all you are required to do as a loving owner!
You are neither the maze guardian or god, seeing it all from above and knowing the right way. As normal mortals we just have to stumble our way through life, taking the odd wrong turn or extra loop; the same goes for vets, too, by the way! The important thing is that we make the effort to try and work out what is the best we can do for an ill piggy and when is the right time to let a beloved one go, if that becomes a potential issue.

I am keeping my fingers very firmly crossed for Casran and you!
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You say such wise and lovely things xx
 
brillmini said:
Awww please don't blame yourself I'm going through that myself just now and it is hard I'm having the argument in my head of should I have done more, what if I'd have done or not done certain things it's so very hard. The main thing is that you took your piggie for treatment some people who have pets don't even step foot in a vets so your a very caring piggie owner. Everything crossed for you x
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@brillmini I'm sorry to read you are going through this.

I'm not sure any loving pet owner ever loses a pet without blaming themselves... it's part of the make-up of a good pet owner.

I lost a piggy once to a broken heart. I didn't know what to do at the time, or how to recognise the signs. I've never forgiven myself. But, I don't think I've ever lost a pet and not been completely guilt-ridden over the loss.

Love and hugs x
 
Wiebke said:
It is always so much easier to judge a journey from the end rather than as the maze you have to tread blindly to find your way. Please do not blame yourself! You have and are still doing your very best. That is all your can do and all you are required to do as a loving owner!
You are neither the maze guardian or god, seeing it all from above and knowing the right way. As normal mortals we just have to stumble our way through life, taking the odd wrong turn or extra loop; the same goes for vets, too, by the way! The important thing is that we make the effort to try and work out what is the best we can do for an ill piggy and when is the right time to let a beloved one go, if that becomes a potential issue.

I am keeping my fingers very firmly crossed for Casran and you!
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:hug:
 
TheAurora said:
@brillmini I'm sorry to read you are going through this.

I'm not sure any loving pet owner ever loses a pet without blaming themselves... it's part of the make-up of a good pet owner.

I lost a piggy once to a broken heart. I didn't know what to do at the time, or how to recognise the signs. I've never forgiven myself. But, I don't think I've ever lost a pet and not been completely guilt-ridden over the loss.

Love and hugs x
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I know how your feeling like you I always feel guilty but deep down we know we love them and do our very best and you really are doing your best. Keep us posted xx
 
@TheAurora, as everyone else has said, you couldn't have done more. You sound like a wonderful piggy mother. I know how easy it is to blame yourself, but it's all about pulling through and hoping for the best. I hope only for the best for you and Casran.

I think anyone here who has ever lost a pet knows what you're feeling. You're doing your best, just keep hoping. Hope is all we have left, sometimes.

Good luck Casran. :)
 
brillmini said:
You say such wise and lovely things xx
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I have and have had my own sad experiences and lonely battles over the years, so I understand exactly what you are going through and how upsetting it is!

When you have a number of guinea pigs for any length of time, you need to come to terms with the fact that expecting yourself and any vet to always getting things right from the start is setting yourself up for a fail. Life is just not working like this, even with the so much improved knowledge and medical arsenal available compared to what we had during my childhood. We are still all on a huge learning curve, both as owners, vets and as a forum.

I have learned the hard way that I can't undo mistakes and that cosmic bad luck happens, but that I can invest into the future and do my best to benefit the piggies of mine that follow (and incidentally, the forum piggies, too!) to make their lives better, and if possible be able to save them where I couldn't in the past.

Being a pet owner is like being a parent - it is a learning curve in which you often learn more from what has gone wrong than from what is going right. You never get it all right, and you never stop learning...

As long as your do your best for your piggy with what you know and can do at the time, you are not failing it, or yourself!
 
@TheAurora You are such a kind caring person Dawn and a wonderful owner. Casran couldn't have a better Mum, look at all you have done for him to get him this far. I will be thinking of him tomorrow and you too. Mucho love x

The way everyone has pulled together offered support makes me so proud of the community here. You are all wonderful caring people x
 
sport_billy said:
The way everyone has pulled together offered support makes me so proud of the community here. You are all wonderful caring people x
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I couldn't agree more.

Including forum members behind the scenes who are making a real difference.

I'll never be able to repay you all for your kindness and help.

x
 
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