its my Grandad's funeral tomorrow :-(

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bramleycaviesrescue

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Tomorrow will be a very sad for us- its my Grandad's funeral. :(

Dont know what to say really, my mum is finding it very hard at the moment but she wont admit it! you can easily tell though.

So the rescue will be closed tomorrow and possibly Friday too, as the funeral isnt until 3pm and not sure how I will feel on Friday either.

I havent managed to post the things today which I promised I would (the prizes for the prize draw etc), but promise they will be posted on saturday. I thought I would be ok today, but I was too optimistic and it has been much harder than I thought.

Thanks everyone for your understanding

Helen x
 

Lady Kelly

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big hugs for you Helen all you can do is be there for your mum, she probably thinks putting a brave face on and acting strong will make it easier for her. People cope in different ways but just show you are there to support each other so she knows she doesn't have to be brave if she doesn't want to be
 

doglovinpiggylover

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how sad for you, hope everything goes ok. Be there for each other thats all you can do.

I'm sure the prize winners wont mind waiting hon, least of your worries.

x>>
 
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I'm sorry to hear about your grandad :( I lost mine a good few years ago and I was quite young and it was heartbreaking but I felt I had to be really strong as everyone around me fell apart. I hope you get through tomorrow okay and just take each day as it comes xox
 

bramleycaviesrescue

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I'm sorry to hear about your grandad :( I lost mine a good few years ago and I was quite young and it was heartbreaking but I felt I had to be really strong as everyone around me fell apart. I hope you get through tomorrow okay and just take each day as it comes xox
I feel I have to the be the strongest. Its very hard. I am now 30 and have 2 children of my own, but being such a close family I still feel I need to 'hold' everything together. My sister was seriously ill and now finds everything extremely upsetting and mum and dad become easily depressed, so if I wasnt strong then who would be? (thats how I feel)

Thanks very much, it is hard but I will be ok and I have my 'getaway' and spend hours and hours with the rescue piggies. May seem insensitive of me but I will spend a good few hours with them before the funeral as it really helps me.

Thanks again, Helen
 

Rachel WD

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Really sorry to hear this Helen. I hope tomorrow goes ok. My Grandad died when I was 11 (18 years ago) and I still get choked up when we talk about him. Grandads seem to have a very special quality, I don't know if that is just because I was young when I lost him or not, but mine will always be a big, strong, safe cuddle in my mind. He could give me piggybacks for miles and he always smelt good too :)

Hope you can remember the good times and you and your mum look after each other. x
 
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Hi xx
My gramps died 18yrs ago this Tuesday coming and I dread that day, I always do.
He was my best friend and I loved (still do love) him dearly, I just wish he was still here to see my 2 girls and the other 13 grandkids that came afterwards.
I always light a candle for him on his anniversary, not sure why but it gives me some comfort.
It is hard but after the funeral I'm sure you'll feel a bit of release, it never ever goes but it does get easier.
Certain things seem to have more meaning and make you smile (I feel) like at this time of year when I see daffodils, as his garden was full of them and as he couldn't walk very far, he'd hobble to his back gate and lean on his fence looking at his daffs.
I've had a bunch of them in my window since the start of Feb and will do so every week until the end of march.
Hope everythings goes as smoothly as possible for you and your family and my thoughts are with you x
 

nutmeg

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I hope you and your family are all ok today. It's a really hard and difficult time. Thinking of you. x
 

hellsbells82

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I feel I have to the be the strongest. Its very hard. I am now 30 and have 2 children of my own, but being such a close family I still feel I need to 'hold' everything together. My sister was seriously ill and now finds everything extremely upsetting and mum and dad become easily depressed, so if I wasnt strong then who would be? (thats how I feel)

n

I'm much the same, even down to age and kids, my Nana passed away in August and the funeral was awful, my mum was hysterical and my sister, and I never cried all day, not because I wasn't really upset, but because I always feel like I'm the one who has to hold things together so just tend to
"tough things out" and be the one giving everyone else hugs- it's very dfficult being strong for everyone else when you're cut up inside x

My family probably thought I was nuts that I didn't cry at my Nana's funeral but sobbed when our piggies drowned in our flood, but with the piggies there was no-one else really upset if that makes sense, so I didn't need to be brave for anyone else.
 

bramleycaviesrescue

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I'm much the same, even down to age and kids, my Nana passed away in August and the funeral was awful, my mum was hysterical and my sister, and I never cried all day, not because I wasn't really upset, but because I always feel like I'm the one who has to hold things together so just tend to
"tough things out" and be the one giving everyone else hugs- it's very dfficult being strong for everyone else when you're cut up inside x

My family probably thought I was nuts that I didn't cry at my Nana's funeral but sobbed when our piggies drowned in our flood, but with the piggies there was no-one else really upset if that makes sense, so I didn't need to be brave for anyone else.
That really makes sense to me. Its going to be a hard day. I'm currently sat trying to go going and get ready but just cant function.
I feel like I *have to* hold everything inside to help everyone else. It is hard as inside I am in bits, but only show it when alone. I also think people must think I'm selfish as the rest of family is so upset and to others I dont seem to be.
i had to stay strong for the family when my sister nearly lost her life through illness and it has continued from there. I was 16 at the time and had to hold everything together. (I say had I felt I had to, I was never put on me but I just feel thats what I need to do)
Sorry I'm rambling now. Helen x
 

hellsbells82

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That really makes sense to me. Its going to be a hard day. I'm currently sat trying to go going and get ready but just cant function.
I feel like I *have to* hold everything inside to help everyone else. It is hard as inside I am in bits, but only show it when alone. I also think people must think I'm selfish as the rest of family is so upset and to others I dont seem to be.
i had to stay strong for the family when my sister nearly lost her life through illness and it has continued from there. I was 16 at the time and had to hold everything together. (I say had I felt I had to, I was never put on me but I just feel thats what I need to do)
Sorry I'm rambling now. Helen x
We sound very similar and have had similar experiences (I'm a Helen too), do you have a partner or friend who's supportive? I found it helpful to be able to just sit down and cry in front of my OH as he wasn't as directly affected (not his blood relative), so I didn't feel the need to be strong around him- that being said it's hard as a mum as you also have to hide your feelings from the kids to an extent as to not upset them too much, so you spend most of your time bottling things up.

I found that grief from my Nana's death seemed much more prolonged, I think due to trying to almost block out the funeral, I'd get very upset at times like my son's first birthday knowing he wouldn't get a card to open from his Great-Nana, or I suddenly got hysterical when I realised my OH had lent a suitcase that was hers out to his mum- it was definitely the little things which upset me most.
 
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I feel I have to the be the strongest. Its very hard. I am now 30 and have 2 children of my own, but being such a close family I still feel I need to 'hold' everything together. My sister was seriously ill and now finds everything extremely upsetting and mum and dad become easily depressed, so if I wasnt strong then who would be? (thats how I feel)

Thanks very much, it is hard but I will be ok and I have my 'getaway' and spend hours and hours with the rescue piggies. May seem insensitive of me but I will spend a good few hours with them before the funeral as it really helps me.

Thanks again, Helen
It's not insensitive at all, if it helps you need to do that! If only animals knew how much they helped us at times like that, in a way no other person can do.
I'm thinking of you and you're family. I never cried at my grandad's funeral, everyone else was crying so to me I was thinking it's better someone is strong here if you know what I mean, and it was the same at my uncle's funeral last year. Please don't worry about what other people think about you and how you deal with these things. Grieving a very personal thing indeed and each of us have our own way of seeing these things through, so please don't think that people are going to think of you as selfish, they definitely won't xox
 
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