Looking for new slave

Viennese Furbabies

Viennese Furbabies

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Dear fellow piggies!
We just had a herd meeting and decided it was time to give it a try to find a new slave. Might not be the best time for it, but the perfect time will probably never come.

We know that you have to be really patient with humans, but there is just so much you can take.
So here is what we are looking for in a new slave.

Must have:
Excellent timing and 24 - 7 available for feeding service
Keeps our living quarters clean without disturbing us, locking us out etc.
Excellent self control when the human need to touch, hold or cuddle sets in
No actions like nail cutting, dispensing disgusting medicine, trying to wrap anypigs paw and similar stuff
No trips to the vet
Noiseless or really quiet
Willingness to hand out pellets and other cool stuff in appropriate intervalls

Nice to have:
No pigtures taken unless to worship us
Willingness to hand out pellets and other cool stuff 24 - 7

If anypig has an idea where to find a slave like this, please point us in the right direction!
Thank you! 🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾
Bonny
on behalf of Billie, Tessy, Odi and Vicky
 
Dear Bonny, Billie, Tessy, Odi and Vicky

I'm sure I can rise to the challenge of your new slave.

I can't promise a 24/7 feeding service although the best quality hay will be available 24/7.
I'll keep your living quarters clean and you can have plenty of run time.
If you don't want a cuddle, to be touched or held you won't be.
You'll only get disgusting medicine, paw wrapping and nail clipping when absolutely necessary.
My vet Aunty Rachel is really lovely and you'll adore her.
My garage is very quiet and I'm sure you'll love it in there.
If you choose me as your new slave you'll have lots of lovely treats including pea flakes and apple cubes for supper.

The only reason I take pictures is I think that piggies are super cute.
I hand out pellets in the morning, forage a bit later on, hay 24/7 and supper as above

I think you'd be very happy here.
When are you moving in?
 
Dear Bonny, Billie, Tessy, Odi and Vicky,

I hear your pain - I really do.
I myself have struggled with me below average slave for almost 6 years now.
Many times I have wanted to give up on her - she does not meet my every need, and has been very slow to respond to training.
She has very out dated ideas about piggy care, and is constantly saying boring things about diet. Things like limited pellets and delicious treats. etc.
Despite regular nips, she really does not offer the levels of care I would like.
I won't lie - sometimes it's tough to keep going.

But please remember that every slave deserves a chance.
Even the bad slaves like mine (and yours).
It isn't their fault if they are stupid and slow - we need to try and be patient with them.
A slave is for life and not just for a few years.

Be strong and brave fellow forum piggies.

Lots of love,
Ruby x
 
Betsy said:
Dear Bonny, Billie, Tessy, Odi and Vicky

I'm sure I can rise to the challenge of your new slave.

I can't promise a 24/7 feeding service although the best quality hay will be available 24/7.
I'll keep your living quarters clean and you can have plenty of run time.
If you don't want a cuddle, to be touched or held you won't be.
You'll only get disgusting medicine, paw wrapping and nail clipping when absolutely necessary.
My vet Aunty Rachel is really lovely and you'll adore her.
My garage is very quiet and I'm sure you'll love it in there.
If you choose me as your new slave you'll have lots of lovely treats including pea flakes and apple cubes for supper.

The only reason I take pictures is I think that piggies are super cute.
I hand out pellets in the morning, forage a bit later on, hay 24/7 and supper as above

I think you'd be very happy here.
When are you moving in?
Click to expand...
We are honour by your offer. Everything sounds perfect - too good to be true.
But we are not looking for a new place to live in, just a new slave.
So you would have to move in with us. Sorry if this wasn't clear in our ad.
Would you be able to move in? You could start on Monday and we would do a 6 weeks trial period.
Piggy kisses from Bonny
 
Swissgreys said:
Dear Bonny, Billie, Tessy, Odi and Vicky,

I hear your pain - I really do.
I myself have struggled with me below average slave for almost 6 years now.
Many times I have wanted to give up on her - she does not meet my every need, and has been very slow to respond to training.
She has very out dated ideas about piggy care, and is constantly saying boring things about diet. Things like limited pellets and delicious treats. etc.
Despite regular nips, she really does not offer the levels of care I would like.
I won't lie - sometimes it's tough to keep going.

But please remember that every slave deserves a chance.
Even the bad slaves like mine (and yours).
It isn't their fault if they are stupid and slow - we need to try and be patient with them.
A slave is for life and not just for a few years.

Be strong and brave fellow forum piggies.

Lots of love,
Ruby x
Click to expand...
Dear Ruby,
we know that this is a bit heartless, but let's see how this goes. If we get a new slave (look above, sounds promising), we could send our current slave to your place and you could try her out.
We're not promising anything yet, but she could be a little bit better than your slave.
Not everpig has got your patience and perseverance.
Piggy kisses from Bonny
 
Dear Bonny and gang

We agree. A slave is for life not just for Christmas. Your slave is doing their best. Our slave is not perfect but we would not swap her. Better the devil you know.

Love Percy and Pepper
 
Viennese Furbabies said:
We are honour by your offer. Everything sounds perfect - too good to be true.
But we are not looking for a new place to live in, just a new slave.
So you would have to move in with us. Sorry if this wasn't clear in our ad.
Would you be able to move in? You could start on Monday and we would do a 6 weeks trial period.
Piggy kisses from Bonny
Click to expand...
Dear Bonny et al

I am very pleased that you were honoured by my offer to be your new Slave and that everything sounds perfect. My piggies really do live in the lap of luxury. Unfortunately, I won't be able to move in with you at the moment as there are travel restrictions on Slaves due to Covid. I'm sure that these don't apply to guinea pigs though so I'll be here awaiting your arrival......
 
Betsy said:
Dear Bonny et al

I am very pleased that you were honoured by my offer to be your new Slave and that everything sounds perfect. My piggies really do live in the lap of luxury. Unfortunately, I won't be able to move in with you at the moment as there are travel restrictions on Slaves due to Covid. I'm sure that these don't apply to guinea pigs though so I'll be here awaiting your arrival......
Click to expand...
Sorry, but we won't be able to come.
First of all, Mummy slave won't let us travel alone.
And she can't come along due to all this stupid regulations.

Also we don't want to leave our home, because we really like it her. We would just need a slave that anticipates every wish to make everything perfect.
20211219_100749.webp
So if you ever change your mind and want to move in with us to become our new slave, please get in touch.
Bonny xx
 
We are sad to see that the difficulties we face with our human are not problems with our slave alone. If anyone has a good slave going spare we wouldn't mind taking on a different slave as long as they are able to remove poops from our cage without moving our hides or waking us up and are able to refrain from weighing us as we are very self conscious about our weight and find the bowl incredibly uncomfortable. Sadly I am beginning to think such a human may not exist and we may need to give up on the human race entirely.
 
Sweet Potato said:
We are sad to see that the difficulties we face with our human are not problems with our slave alone. If anyone has a good slave going spare we wouldn't mind taking on a different slave as long as they are able to remove poops from our cage without moving our hides or waking us up and are able to refrain from weighing us as we are very self conscious about our weight and find the bowl incredibly uncomfortable. Sadly I am beginning to think such a human may not exist and we may need to give up on the human race entirely.
Click to expand...

I'll weigh you in a hidey as that's far more comfortable than a bowl. Unfortunately you do need to be weighed as us Hooman Slave's can't speak guinea pig so you can't tell us when you are feeling unwell. It's the only way we know whether you are coming down with something.
 
Sweet Potato said:
We are sad to see that the difficulties we face with our human are not problems with our slave alone. If anyone has a good slave going spare we wouldn't mind taking on a different slave as long as they are able to remove poops from our cage without moving our hides or waking us up and are able to refrain from weighing us as we are very self conscious about our weight and find the bowl incredibly uncomfortable. Sadly I am beginning to think such a human may not exist and we may need to give up on the human race entirely.
Click to expand...
We know how you feel.
Maybe someone called Santa could bring you a new slave. Don't know who this Santa guy is and how to get in touch with him unfortunately.
We are still waiting for this guy Gabriel zu show up. Hasn't been around yet, though we did a choir practice in the late afternoon.
 
Viennese Furbabies said:
We are still waiting for this guy Gabriel zu show up. Hasn't been around yet, though we did a choir practice in the late afternoon.
Click to expand...
I hope your singing is good but not too loud, or someone rather different to Gabriel might arrive.
I heard once that some walkers in the hills heard loud voices apparently in distress in the distance, and reported it to Mountain Rescue. When a Mountain Rescue team turned up at the location reported, they found a group of Christians singing hymns....
 
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