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Rock Bottom - self pity alert

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DebbieR

Just when me and Steve thought we had hit rock bottom we found there was another 50ft of cr*p to get through.

For absolutely ages now Steve has had no work. We haven't got a penny to our name. Not one single solitary bean. If it hadn't been for Steve's mum lending us money for shopping the past month or so we would have starved. Trouble is, now we owe her loads of money and she's going to want it back eventually but the gas, electricty, water and council tax people want our money too. So now we've got to the point where we can't borrow anymore. Now we can only have hand outs. Trouble is there's no-one who can give us any money cos they all need it themselves. My brother has plenty of money but he's also very tight and, if we asked, would give us an hour long lecture about where we went wrong with our lives and then say no. My mum is quite happy to take me to the pub and buy me drinks all night (which I declined) but won't give us money for food! ? Where's the logic in that?
Even if Steve did get work, we haven't got any money to buy the materials needed.
Now Mildred has the starts of a fungal infection. Thankfully I have vet sect, Nizoral and daktarin which is doing a great job. I know its not as ideal as Chrissie's lotions and potions but its better than nothing.
Its really getting me down. I get paid on Friday but all that money has to go on bills that we haven't paid for the last couple of months so we still don't have any money for food. :(

Anyone need a decorator? ;D or failing that anyone know a good soup kitchen?

Thanks for listening. I really needed to get that off my chest :)
 
I'm sorry to hear all that... :(

Has Steve thought about just taking on some really crappy minimum wage job, like stacking shelves in Morrissons, a cleaning job, or working in say, what it would be in our area, the Bacon Factory?

My boyfriend is self employed too and when he has bad months customer wise, we always have to wonder are we going to make it... luckily, his business picked up again (he is fixing and building computers), and we are alright again.
But some months ago our car died, had to spend odd 500 on a new one, then guinea pig got sick, vet bills, we werent that good for money, and it looked quite bad... so he went and applied for all sorts of jobs. Luckily he didnt have to do it in the end.

But would steve consider doing some really boring stupid job that he hates, simply to bring a little bit of money in on the side?

a) it will help your situation, even if not as much as youd like

b) people are more inclined to borrow you money when they see you are actually trying EVERYTHING you can.

:(

I'm really sorry Debbie...
 
I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I know how you feel as we keep running out of money too, my OH works but I don't and due to relocating to an expensive area our mortgage has doubled, so basically all my OH's money goes to the mortgage company and for bills ::)

I truely believe that everyone has turns for bad times and for good, whenever we hit rock bottom we seem to climb up again somehow and then it's someone else's turn. Hang on in there, rework your budget (you don't really need food do you ;)) and focus on what you do have. Could your OH do any other temporary work, is he handy at, for example, diy or building rabbit hutches, or putting fences up? Just an idea, my OH is no good at anything practical and I'm always looking for a 'man who can' locally to do all the 'little jobs' around the house that need doing (we live in a dump which needs doing up!).

Hope things improve

Kathryn x
 
Oh Debbie, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know things were that bad.

gas, electricity, council tax etc are real nigthmares - I know!
 
Thanks for your lovely messages. :-*

The council tax is crippling us. We pay £116 a month and that's on top of £700 a month rent!

Steve has been hoping that work will come in and save him cos that's what usually happens but he's coming round to the fact that, this time, there isn't going to be anything. He has applied for a caretakers job at a local school which comes with accomodation. If he gets that all our troubles will be over. So, everyone, fingers crossed please
 
I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you :)

Kathryn x
 
I am so sorry for you both, have been there and there is nothing worse :'(

Has you OH put up adverts locally in shop windows or on the notice boards in Tesco's etc.

That was how I got my dressmaking business up and running and now most of my work comes from word of mouth and recommendations.

I wish I was closer My house is in bad need of decorating have the materials just no time.

good luck and thinking of you

karen
 
Sorry to hear this, not that sympathy is much practical help :(

I'm sure Mildred will be fine with the shampoos you are using, I used them for years. Chrissie does some trial sizes which cost very little if you really need her products.

Fingers crossed your partner finds work soon and gets that caretaking job.
Hang on in there as said most of us have been there and things do get better.

Take care,
Barbara
 
oh Debbie I'm so sorry to hear you feeling so down about your worrys, your brother sounds like my dad, could you not claim tax credits and council tax rebate, if not do what I've been doing have a good clear out and sell it all on ebay this past week and half I have made over £400, from things I dont use anymore , I'm saving it as spending money for our holiday, because bills always get in the way of holidays etc, just when you think you cant take anymore things will change , as long as you two dont argue over it all, be strong for each other and dont take it out on each other, 10 years ago I was living in a main town with 5 kids one a new born baby 3 boys with adhd and no hope of anything every changing, OH was a carer for the boys as i could'nt cope with them on my own, so money was tight, he spent most of his time out with his so called mates then I said enough I am moving i had no idea how why or when but here i am in a beautiful bungalow by the sea on the beautiful isle of wight with 2 of my boys left home ahhhh, and hubbys got his own driving school, things can only get better, you see nearly everyone will have a similar tale to tell, it was my dad who lent me the money to buy our first cheap house, hes paid back now and we moved 4 years ago after selling the cheap house for a massive profit, just believe if it can happen to me it can and will happen to you ( I put up with Dads lectures to get him to lend me the money, just switch your ears off?) good luck, if you need any help with shampoos etc for your pigs let us know I'm sure we would all pitch in for you, you only have to ask sweetheart, keep us up to date as to how things are going, me along with others will be worried
 
Chin up Debs.
I'm crossing everything i have for the caretakers job to come through ....
You deserve a break. Hang on in there til it comes
Big hugs ....
 
Hi Debbie

sorry to read things are not too good at the moment. I wish I could wave a magic wand and put things right for you. Everything is just so expensive these days, with rent, rates, the utility bills etc. I know most people are struggling to meet all the increases, as wages havent gone up to match. Its just never ending.

I admit we are pretty skint right now too, having had the holiday, car bills etc etc, and have been having a clear out of stuff and flogging it on ebay to help pay towards the bills. I am ignoring the elect bill right now :o

I am keeping everything crossed that something comes along for Steve, maybe even an agency job as a temp thing till things pick up.

Big hugs to you.

Deb x
 
Thanks for all your kind words and encouragement guys. Just that alone has made me feel better.

Snugglypig (sorry I don't know your name :-[) Whereabouts are you?

We've sold everything we have that other people would want. Just got the junk left now :(

What hurts most is my mum and her attitude. She's willing to spend money on alcohol for me (which I don't want) but not food. :( My mum will only ever help people if it benefits her as well. Her selfishness knows no bounds :(

Mildred's fungal patch is getting better by the day. I must have caught it just in time. The skin wasn't red or inflamed but the hair was very greasy, yellow and easily removed. How often should you do the baths if you're using Nizoral?

You're all so lovely and I'm so glad I have you to talk to :-*
 
I am really sorry you're having a hard time of things just lately. I sympathise as I know just how you feel. I have recently had to stop work as my disability / long term illness has become a lot worse (the horrible, stressful job and awful employer didn't help). Now I am waiting for my benefits to come through and am in the same boat as you. In fact I have just emailed British Gas about my leccy bill as I cannot afford to pay it. It's £120 and I get just over fifty quid a week - do they expect me not to eat for 3 weeks to pay their bill? And I am NOT wasteful with electricity, or anything else for that matter.

Please keep smiling, as I try to do, although it's not easy. You have my hearfelt empathy and support.
 
Isn't it awful that there are so many people with financial problems. It doesn't help to know you're not alone though does it? All the bills we all have to pay, especially the council tax, are crippling. Most of the utilities are pretty good of you let them know you're having trouble paying but the council tax just say that its not their problem and you have to pay it or go to court. >:(

Oh and I think Willow's abcess is coming back :'(

Thankfully me and Steve are keeping each other's spirits up. If one of us gets down the other makes them laugh. In one of my blacker moments I said that the only option left to us was a hosepipe attached to the exhaust in the van. Steve said that it wasn't a good idea cos we haven't got any petrol and we can't afford the hosepipe. ;D ;D It made us both laugh and I stopped being miserable ;D
 
Steve sounds a very intelligent man and knows how to difuse a situation nice one, bills do seem to be getting higher and higher now, we had an £800 electric bill heck we are in a bungalow, I told them we are not paying for a business here, they did a meter check but it was right luckly I had been paying £120 a month and most of it was paid, but its still way too high, ridiculous in fact, but our gas is quite good so I guess its swings and roundabouts, as long as you've got your health is what I am always told,
but mines not too good anyway,
and you mum sounds a bit like my dad he even charged me interest on anything he lends me and tried to charge me over £ 42,000 int on £50,000 and made me sign a document at the solicitors who charged me £90 and even he said he disagreed with me doing it, I paid over £20,000 and said enoughs enough, seems we all have parents with misguided judgments, but dad said well its all left to you when I die, which does'nt help,
me and Mick on the other hand have lent one of our sons over £2,000 and dont expect it back let alone charge interest, I do everything the opposite of my dad ,
 
DebbieR said:
Thanks for all your kind words and encouragement guys. Just that alone has made me feel better.

Snugglypig (sorry I don't know your name :-[) Whereabouts are you?

We've sold everything we have that other people would want. Just got the junk left now :(

What hurts most is my mum and her attitude. She's willing to spend money on alcohol for me (which I don't want) but not food. :( My mum will only ever help people if it benefits her as well. Her selfishness knows no bounds :(

Mildred's fungal patch is getting better by the day. I must have caught it just in time. The skin wasn't red or inflamed but the hair was very greasy, yellow and easily removed. How often should you do the baths if you're using Nizoral?

You're all so lovely and I'm so glad I have you to talk to :-*
Click to expand...

I am in Ireland,

karen
 
Hee hee Karen, Ireland is a bit far for Steve to travel ;D

Michelle, I'm shocked at that story about your dad :o All I can say is, isn't it a damn good thing we can choose our friends? :)
 
yes but the wierd thing he has loads of money and has left it all to me and my 2 brothers, so one day I will be a rich bitch ha ha but i would much rather he was more like me and share and help out now while we can enjoy it, apparently mum says it was the way he was brought up ( in a home for a few years) proves the point that you can choose your friends but family are for life :(
 
Just wanted to say DebbieR, biggest hugs to you, and that is the problem with this world everything is just so costly :-\ :'(

Take care;

Clare x
 
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