So sad right now..

RedLoredAmazon

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I just cannot sleep as I am just so sad right now. I got the horrible news today that someone I love took their life today. I knew him since he was an itty-bitty baby; I was his nanny/babysitter when I was a teen. I've had several loved ones pass, but this one is really just so hard. I've been trying so hard to keep it together in front of my kids (they don't know), but it is all spilling out now. My husband is trying to sleep so I don't want to keep bothering him as he has work tomorrow. This really has been such a shock and I don't seem to have the words for what I am feeling.

Sorry I am spilling this all out on here, but I know that everyone here is very supportive and I need to get my feelings out.
 

Rivervixen

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I’m so sorry that you’re going through this :( also very very sorry that they were suffering enough to take their own life. Can’t imagine how you must be feeling but just wanted to say I’m thinking of you and hope you manage to get some rest at some point x
 

RedLoredAmazon

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Thank you! He was so young at just 22. I feel for his family (we are more family than friends). I wish he had stayed and not left us so early.
 

dhill_cb7

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Horrible and devastating. My condolences. Pray for him and his family. Never easy losing someone; especially that young. Sorry again.
 

weepweeps

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Such a terrible shock for everyone. It’s so sad that he felt there was no other way out of his pain. Thinking of you. ❤️
 

Betsy

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What a terrible shock for you! You are struggling to deal with how you're feeling which is only natural. Hugs to you at this difficult time :hug:
 

Bill & Ted

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I’m so sorry for you and your family, this must be such a shock. Take time out to grieve I know you are a Mum but you do need some care yourself right now. He was very young, I can’t imagine how awful this is for you , so very sad x
 

Merab's Slave

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So very sorry to read this news.
Suicide has a huge impact on the people left behind.
It will take you and his family a long time to come to terms with what has happened.
Wondering why, or could you have known are the natural questions that will be chasing around in your heart and mind.
We rarely know the reason why someone takes their own life but underlying the internal sadness is a feeling that other people would be better off without them. It’s the warped thinking that happens when a person hits rock bottom and can no longer think rationally.
You may never know why he chose this path.
You may never know what was going on in his life that made him decide to end it.
That will be hard but in time the rawness will ease and you will be able to cope with it.
Allow yourself time to grieve. It’s ok to be angry as well as sad.

Is there someone outside your family you could talk to?
A friend? A pastor? A bereavement support group?

We are here for you.
Hugs :hug:
 

VickiA

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I am so sorry to read this. No wonder you are suffering. A sudden loss, particularly in these circumstances, is extremely difficult to process. Do you have someone you can talk to about this? X
 

RedLoredAmazon

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Thank you all for your kind words. I've been talking with my husband and parents about what happened as they knew him too. I did finally tell my children that he had passed away suddenly and that is why I have been feeling sad.

It's hard loosing anyone, but it is just terrible when they go this way. I am glad that he was part of my life; I have so many wonderful memories of him and those will always stay with me.
 

Claire W

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Thank you all for your kind words. I've been talking with my husband and parents about what happened as they knew him too. I did finally tell my children that he had passed away suddenly and that is why I have been feeling sad.

It's hard loosing anyone, but it is just terrible when they go this way. I am glad that he was part of my life; I have so many wonderful memories of him and those will always stay with me.
I am glad you have been able to talk with your husband and parents and have lots of lovely memories to remember him by
 

Black piggies

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So sorry for your loss. Remembering someone is a loving act. For all you might wish you could have done, going forwards, you can always give him that.
 

RedLoredAmazon

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I am doing better thank you. This has really been a rollercoaster of emotions. We had been told a day after this happened that he was alive, so we were excited and hopeful again. Then we had word that he had actually passed. His mom asked my sister and I to not come to his viewing/visitation as she couldn't handle seeing us and she wanted to put on a brave face for her daughter. That was hard as I live close by, but I had to stay away. I did pass the funeral home on the day of the viewing and I waved to him. His family had him buried next to his grandpa up in Chicago so it may be a bit till I can get up there as it is 4 hours away. The police did a full investigation and found that it wasn't suicide; they ruled it as a tragic accident.

I really have been avoiding talking about it here as this has been a lot for me. I am sorry I haven't updated what happened, but everything kept changing so much and the police ruling was a big surprise as his parents had thought it was suicide too.

We are trying to remember the good times that we had with him by telling our favorite stories about him.
 
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