"Soft stuff is not hay."

Lorcan

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Fellow Goblins and Guinea Pigs -

The human keeps giving us soft stuff that he insists is hay. He insists it's exactly what we need. He even insists it's timothy and orchard hay blended together, and we love timothy hay, and we love the orchard hay we've had before too. This is correct. Timothy and orchard are delicious.

They're also supposed to be spiky and hard and stab the human in the foot when he's had to walk into the cage. They're not supposed to be soft enough to sleep in. We mean, the human says otherwise, but he's only human. What does he know?

Humans are silly.

- The Goblins.
 
Hello Goblins
We agree hoomans are silly 🤪
Our hooman is the same - she keeps giving us hay stuff she says is good for us but we prefer veggies , pea flakes but does she listen …..no no no
We are thinking of contacting The One and Only Thea when she’s back from holiday and asking for advice.
Maybe you should too Goblins.
As least we agree……hoomans are silly 😂
Wheeks Bobby & Geoff
 
Our hooman got us some silly soft hay in December. She swore it was Timothy hay, but it wasn't hard and stalky so we know she was talking rubbish. In the end after a lot of soft poo ( which proves it wasn't hay at all, as we knew) she got the hard stalky real hay and now everything is fine.

What made it worse was that we didn't get our veggies as our hooman said we shouldn't have any when our poos were soft. She's a terrible slave.

You have our sympathies

Bertie and Ziggy
 
My hooman is worse. She doesn’t even say what type of hay she gets us. She just chucks it in while say ‘hay, hay’ repeatedly and in a silly sing song voice 🙄 yours sounds better trained.

Yours in bafflement,
Toff
 
A message from Camowen -

Bann is a traitor to Goblin Kind and is actually eating the hay! With relish! Although the human says eating something with relish means something else entirely because guinea pigs can't eat relish. Since when was relish an actual thing? The human suggests that "with gusto" might be a better way to phrase it, except I happen to know about this place called Gusto that sells meal kits with veggies. The human sighed and said it was "Gousto".

The human also says he buys the hay he does because it's what's in stock. Something about couriers and (actually I don't think the next part is repeatable) so he can only get from one place so far. He will be buying more in a couple of days though but really. The nerve.

- Camowen
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A message from Bann -

All the more delicious hay for me tyvm.

- Bann
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A message from the human -

:flag:
 
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