Things you say to your pets...

PigglePuggle

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"Hey, who wants some hay? Hay time! Hay time!" I say that every day at least twice :)
And on walking in from work today
"Poo, poopy pigs! Stinky poopy poop poop pigs! You have pooped on your floor... and in your houses... we need a poopy poopy scoop scoop..."
Yes this is how senior academics talk when only their wheeky-wheeky-pig-wig friends are listening :)
 

Eriathwen

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'Whose big, fat bum is this!' Accompanied by a loving pat XD
'Stop spraying pee at your sister'
'If I wanted you to eat the towel you wouldn't go near it!'
'Leonard leave your penis alone'
'Stop flicking poop at me while I'm sweeping'
'If you could hurry up and pee in this bowl so I could go to bed, that'd be great!'

Come to think of it, pretty much everything I say would sound crazy if I said it to a person XDXD
 

Sophie B

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Was having lap time with the wee creatures (as I have lovingly dubbed them...) and said

Bacon get your stinky bum back on this duvet!

Smokey, not the couch, I said not the couch!

Chubby bums!

Those piggy eyes, telepathically demanding food...

Bacon managed to escape the cage earlier today (I have secured it) all I could muster up was a faint little

Whaaaaaaa?
 

Nassala

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Was having lap time with the wee creatures (as I have lovingly dubbed them...) and said

Bacon get your stinky bum back on this duvet!

Smokey, not the couch, I said not the couch!

Chubby bums!

Those piggy eyes, telepathically demanding food...

Bacon managed to escape the cage earlier today (I have secured it) all I could muster up was a faint little

Whaaaaaaa?
Years ago I had a houdini pig who regularly managed to get out over 10" walls or higher, and one day I walked in to their room to see him sitting quite happily in a little nest he had made in the hay. On the top of the hay bag. Which was sitting upright and about the normal size for a £5 or £6 bag a couple feet from the cage. I made a similar noise.
 

Sophie B

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He’s gotten out twice, good thing we’re building a new cage...
 

Hils

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We named one of our piggies Aphrodite - a big name for a really little piggie. Over time this has somehow turned into a much more fitting name, but one that means I am often out in our very small urban garden calling out to "my darling Diddles".... I'm not sure what the neighbours make of that!
 

piggieminder

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'Red stop it, Red if you don't stop chewing your bars you'll have to come out for a cuddle.'
This is several times a day, I'm thinking of recording myself saying it and playing it back on a loop. Coming out for a cuddle is the ultimate threat, he hates cuddles.

'No No No grass, I don't only go outside to pick grass'. (whenever the back door opens). Similar for opening the fridge!

I talk all the time to the piggies as I come in and out the living room, anyone listening to my conversations with them would know I'm totally bonkers. I aways say 'goodbye won't be long' when I go out. 'Goodnight, see you in the morning' when I go to bed.
 

Meg110702

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You’re so teeny and cute and I love you so much! Hey piggies food time! Wheek wheek wheek to you too! Boop (when i poke their noses cos they’re just so fluffy and I can’t resist seeing them be suprised then tickle my hand when they sniff me)
 

amber89

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"Good night darlings. Mommy loves you. Be good"

I am usually singing them a Romanian children's song. I just replace the original animal, an elephant, with the guinea pig. It goes like this:
"One piggie was swinging from a spider web
and because the web wasn't breaking
he called another pig.
Two piggies were swinging from a spider web
and because the web wasn't breaking
he called a second pig.
Three piggies were swinging from a spider web
and because the web wasn't breaking
he called a second pig"
And at three at stop, because my herd has only three piggies.
 

PerceptorII

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I pick a particularly delicious piece of hay out the rack to hand feed it to one of them.

"Hey, bud, you wanna hay bud?"
 

Tigermoth

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'Whose big, fat bum is this!' Accompanied by a loving pat XD
'Stop spraying pee at your sister'
'If I wanted you to eat the towel you wouldn't go near it!'
'Leonard leave your penis alone'
'Stop flicking poop at me while I'm sweeping'
'If you could hurry up and pee in this bowl so I could go to bed, that'd be great!'

Come to think of it, pretty much everything I say would sound crazy if I said it to a person XDXD
I have sons. I think I’ve said pretty much all of those! Although toddlers don’t quite count as people..... (will you please take your penis out of your yogurt became a classic phrase in this house!)

I think the only thing I say to mine that I wouldn’t say to a person is variations of “ if you don’t stop going under the fleece you are going on the barbecue...”
 
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