Years ago I had a houdini pig who regularly managed to get out over 10" walls or higher, and one day I walked in to their room to see him sitting quite happily in a little nest he had made in the hay. On the top of the hay bag. Which was sitting upright and about the normal size for a £5 or £6 bag a couple feet from the cage. I made a similar noise.Was having lap time with the wee creatures (as I have lovingly dubbed them...) and said
Bacon get your stinky bum back on this duvet!
Smokey, not the couch, I said not the couch!
Those piggy eyes, telepathically demanding food...
Bacon managed to escape the cage earlier today (I have secured it) all I could muster up was a faint little
I have sons. I think I’ve said pretty much all of those! Although toddlers don’t quite count as people..... (will you please take your penis out of your yogurt became a classic phrase in this house!)'Whose big, fat bum is this!' Accompanied by a loving pat
'Stop spraying pee at your sister'
'If I wanted you to eat the towel you wouldn't go near it!'
'Leonard leave your penis alone'
'Stop flicking poop at me while I'm sweeping'
'If you could hurry up and pee in this bowl so I could go to bed, that'd be great!'
Come to think of it, pretty much everything I say would sound crazy if I said it to a person