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Things you say to your piggies, but would never say to a person

MnJ

Junior Guinea Pig
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I just saw a reddit post with similar title and I had a good laugh reading it. So I thought we can have some fun with it here too.

Here are some of mine:
Do you want to go back in your cage?

Be nice don't hump him.

Don't sniff his but.

Here comes the poo soup.

Your breath smells like poo.

poopy poop, so many poopy poops (And me being happy about it 😅)

Your bed smells like pee.

How did you got hay stuck in your bum?

Please don't pee/poop on me.
 
We used to regularly say
“ Stop humping him.”

“How did you get hay stuck in your bum?”is still a regular question here!

Along with “Wallyyyyyy leave the bars alone!”
“Poo soup time”
“Ew did you just eat his poo? What’s wrong with your own!”
 
i fully baby my pig so its a lot of
‘How did mummy get the bestest pig’
‘Mummys going to eat that pig’ then i pretend to chew her she loves it.
‘Are you the cheekiest pig of them all?’
‘Ooohhh shes a hungry pig’ 20x a day
I do lots of variations of this type of chat in my special high pitched pig voice.
 
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but recently there's been a lot of "ffs not again" and "You're a bloody idiot" because it's not like they understand the words anyway, the groaning's mostly for my benefit lol. Also,

"Stop sitting on his hay"
"Stop sitting on the Readigrass, he'll want some too when he realises you've got some."
"No don't run into his bed carrying your pepper"
"No (insert goblin name here)...look he's got it now, here's the other one. Right here. No, I have it right here. No no no...here!"
“He's gonna pee on you if you're not careful...see? He peed on you."
"You can't eat Maoam."
"Stop harassing my guests for food."
"You've got to be kidding me, didn't you learn last time?!"
“How do you manage to chew so loudly?"
 
Some of the ones we use are,

“Stop squeaking, I just refilled your water! Look! Over here! STOPPIT!”

“Awww, who’s the cutest guinea pig? You are, yes you are! Awww! *Tummy rubs*”

“Come here! Come on! Come to mommy! Come to me! *Rustles bag* Good job!

For some reason, every time I rustle a bag, my guinea pig thinks it’s for her, so she starts squeaking and comes over lol. She also loves when we rub behind her ears, so she starts purring. Sometimes I wonder if she’s part cat. 😂
 
Today I caught myself saying to Jasper " Congratulations you got chonky👏 ". He was, still kind of is a small boy compared to my other boy, who is younger than Jasper. But he is getting there. I have him for a little over a month now and he gained 100g 🙌.
 
"No Bertie you can't have anymore food, you are way too fat already. Look at your belly it's dragging on the floor".

"Red stop biting those bars. I fed you 10 minutes ago, you might be giving me the death stare but I don't care. Now look what you've done, they've all stared. No you lot shut up, I'm not giving you any more food, eat your hay if you are hungry".

"Who just flicked poo across the floor, Bertie was that you".
 
'aww what lovely poos you've done!'
'who's my little fluffy dumpling?'
'no, you can't eat those tassells.'

and on the flip side, we can't say pepper apart from once a day when they actually get it because even a whisper of the all powerful p-word sets off a chorus of wheeking so loud and piercing that I'm sure it can be heard streets away! we have to call it P-E-P-P-E-R instead 😂
 
'aww what lovely poos you've done!'
'who's my little fluffy dumpling?'
'no, you can't eat those tassells.'

and on the flip side, we can't say pepper apart from once a day when they actually get it because even a whisper of the all powerful p-word sets off a chorus of wheeking so loud and piercing that I'm sure it can be heard streets away! we have to call it P-E-P-P-E-R instead 😂
Be careful, my parents had a dog who learnt to spell, she had quite a range of words and would get very excited. There were some words she would miss hear too and leave everyone wondering what they just said!
 
Be careful, my parents had a dog who learnt to spell, she had quite a range of words and would get very excited. There were some words she would miss hear too and leave everyone wondering what they just said!

This was Belle. She learnt all variations of "walk", plus "W-A-L-K", "W-A-L-K-I-E-S" and in the end you needed to spell out perambulation, lol.

They also needed to buy a doorbell that had 400 different chime tones because she learnt what they meant after the third or fourth time.
 
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