upset and humiliated!

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kellyandpiggies

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My 'lovely' grandad - is such a @!@!@!@!

He comes waltzing in to the house, having not seen us for a few months and blurts out

'my! You're getting too fat for that chair, it barely holds you!'

I struggled to fight back tears! I have never felt so upset in my life. :'( :'( :'( :'(

He doesn't realise how hard it is when trying to lose weight when you can hardly move!

He's gone and I don't wish to see him again - ever!
 

sars1359

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my grandad said something like that the other week like " are you pregnant" it really hurt me ,especially when I'm not >:(
 

amanda

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what is it about grandparents.....mine are always saying 'what a pretty face you have shame your a bit podgy love'

But we re all lovely the way we are! so bugger them! :)
 
C

cavykind

Sometimes people can be very uncaring and it's especially hurtful when it's those who are supposedly closest to us. And it's especially hard for you if you are sensitive about your weight to begin with. I had an auntie who would always make comments and there was absolutely nothing wrong with my weight (I was at my lightest ever)..it was like an obsession with her ::)

What a shame, try not to let it upset you too much. I worked with the elderly for years as a nurse and some of the things they used to come out with...if you didn't laugh, you'd cry ::)
Mind, there was a lot of truth in some of it...but at other times, I think it was just that they were unhappy themselves and needed to have a grouch to someone ;)

Barbara
 
S

staffie lass

My dear Kelly what is important is that we love you "Just the way you are" :-* some people are so thoughtless hope I don`t get like that when I am older I already have " senior moments" but hopefully don`t upset anyone :o :o :o
 

Abnoba

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have you told your granddad how it upset you? Some people just think that everyone else has a very thick skin and they dont realise how much they hurt others and the damage they do with throwing words around like that...

I am sure that if you actually told him that he hurt you so much, and that he was so incredibly rude and did he think about how you are struggling already even WITHOUT comments like that to make it worse, he would feel very small indeed and probably apologise..

doesnt make the fact that he said that better, but he might consider his "jokes" and "witty comments" a bit more carefully next time...

*hugs*
 

SweetEdge

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awwwwww Kelly :( thats awful - pay no attention to him!

I find older people speak without thinking first! If he ever does it again just tell him how upset it makes you - cause theres no excuse for that :(

I have an uncle that sort of does the same thing - every boxing day he walks in and tells my mum she's put weight on - tells me i'm getting more rounder and tells my brother he's fat! Every single year - so this year, we have all decided to get in there first and as soon as he walks in - tell him he's put a lot of weight on! hehe

Bah... Familes who'd have them eh?

Just ignore him Kelly - you're beautiful!

/hugs

Trace x
 

michellemuffin

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awwww Kelly you've got a big heart and are wonderful so take no notice of the old git, sounds like the horrible old man I have across my road. its such a shame because i have a lot of time for the elderly but these type of eldery makes me wonder, I miss my grandparents every day of my life nan died in 88 and Grandad in 90 and at times I think I loved them more then my own parents, they were totally into their family and adored us kids and my kids I miss them so much so hear you say what your Grandad is like is awlful next time tell him well I can go on a diet anytime what are you going to do about your baggy skin lol nasty mare are'nt I? maybe he is unhappy as already suggested and it makes him feel better making some one else unhappy, take no notice, hugs to you as always you are 100% pefect as you are sweetheart :-*
 

darkest.dreaming

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I'm sorry to hear about that. It's never a nice thing even if he was saying it in a joky way. Like someone else said, have a word with him and tell him how it made you feel. Perhaps he didn't realise it would hurt you as much as it did. *Sending hugs*. Go get some piggy hugs to. They always make me feel better.
 

bevs

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Aww hugs Kelly :-*

He probably didn't mean it, families think they can say anything and get away with it, thinking we won't take offence cos they're family. And your only on the cuddly side cos your whole body is full up with so much love :-* :-* :-* :-*
 

sars1359

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Thats what annoys me about families,they say what they want and think they can get away with it just because theyre family..
well they cant!
now if it was some random person/friend etc I wouldve gone nuts at them for that

theres nothing wrong with being a lil bit fat or whatever,it would be damn boring if we all looked the same,and who wants to look like one of those anorexic models anyway,nothing to cuddle up to on them
 

darkest.dreaming

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Sars1359 said:
theres nothing wrong with being a lil bit fat or whatever,it would be damn boring if we all looked the same,and who wants to look like one of those anorexic models anyway,nothing to cuddle up to on them
Well said. :)
 

kellyandpiggies

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Awwwww, thanks to you all! :-* :-* :-*

I couldn't believe what he said when I called! But along the lines of 'you are what you are'... :-\ :-\

Well... piggies have put me straight by being there and so to my family who are not happy..

........... roll on 2007!
 
B

BEATRICE

Aww Kelly sometimes people are so insensitive. You are wonderful and take no notice :) x
 

kayjay

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Take no notice, my mum comments every time she sees me or my sister, in fact her favourite trick is to poke my sister in her stomach to point out how fat she is - she daren't try it with me, she knows she'd get a mouthful. What's stupid is all our life she was size 24 ish and has lost weight due to being very ill but anyone would think she'd always been thin the way she goes on.

By the way, I don't know what your impairment is but my friend has advanced MS and has managed to go from a size 16/18 to a 10/12 by healthy eating and gentle exercise, she goes to the gym and does core body strength and upper arms exercises from her chair so it is possible (although I 'only' have fibromyalgia and depression and find it impossible to control my eating ;D)
 

kellyandpiggies

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Thanx, it's kinda hard not to though, but I guess it's all in the past now.

I have sweet FA (sorry can't resist), Friedreich's Ataxia - a progressive nerve disease. While I am fairly strong in my upper body, it doesn't last all day everyday and I tire easily. So making appointments for the gym can be a waste if I have an 'off' day.

I sometimes have to force myself to eat too and never been a big eater.. Just a pain. Although.. did someone say fairy cakes?! LOL 2funny
 
M

maxthepig

Aw, sorry to here your grandads upset you :(

My Mum used to say things like this, always commenting that I should have brought a size larger etc, but we ended up having a big row about it and now she doesnt say anything.

Funny thing is, looking back I was actually quite thin when she used to make comments.
Mandyxx
 
F

Fr0ggy

Try to ignore comments like that-at one time every time I saw my grandparents they would comment on whether I had lost/put on weight and it used to drive me mad! They don't realise how much comments like that can hurt us xx
 

kayjay

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When I was younger and still did the rounds of my great aunties (now all died :() you could guarantee every single one of them would exclaim very very loudly "Haven't you grown, aren't you a big girl now" - I wouldn't have minded but I was about 20 and had stopped growing for the past 8 years or so ;D ;D I think old people just say what they think as they don't worry about upsetting people anymore.
 

kellyandpiggies

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It's a bit funny (not haha) but since I last saw him I've actually dropped a dress size, so I think that hurt me more. Also if he really knew, I'm always on a diet. Grrrrrrrrrrr

I got a crimbo present anyway! ;) LOL
 
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