what do you guys think?

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princessguinea

Well, its a long story so I will make it as straight to the point as possible.
About a year and a half ago, I was engaged to a man I was with for almost 8 years. The wedding was ready to go, everything was planned and I was just waiting for the day to come. 4 months before the wedding, he broke up with me and said he wasnt ready to be married and wanted to make sure I was "the one" (he didnt know this after 8 years?!)
Anyway, it happens that he just happened to have another woman on the side that he met at work! I figured it had to be someone else. I'm not stupid! He of course swears he never cheated but I know better. That and he sister told me he did coz he told her! Well, he wanted me back coz he found out he loved me more than his new "girlfriend". But I was already with Jose and of course I dont trust him anymore so I said no. But he calls me still sometimes. I still talk to the parents coz I'm like a daughter to them. I recently spoke online with his sister. I cut bonds with her too coz she started drama before we broke up coz I was complianing that me ex was hanging out with female friends(this was when we were together), and she then told her that I shouldnt be mad coz I have guys calling me! Meanwhile these were guys from my church that I have grown up with in diapers, so I see this different! So we didnt speak after dat coz I felt betrayed.
Woo! A lot of typing! :o My question is, should I build my relationship back with her? I mean I'm not with her brother anymore so I shoulnt be mad at somthing like dat if we arent together. But then also I'm not totally at trust with her. I'm just confused about things. My ex also recently had a baby with her too! Ive moved on but of course I'm human so it hurts a little.
 
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princessguinea

i was thinking of that too. but he doesnt even live there so its not like i would se him. i dont know, its just still hard coz he was the first guy i fell in love with. and his parents didnt do anything to me. i love them all. the parents as a matter of fact hate the girl hes with! ;D good she deserves it! i want to see them but i know I'm nosey and will ask questions bout the kid and all. oh yea, they arent even sure if the baby is his coz she cheated on him too! ah, how ironic life can be!
 
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I'd keep a bit of a distance, still talk to his parents, but maybe not try to get back on terms with the sister.

It's not like you 2 were really good friends prior to the break up. And if she's the trouble stirring type you 'd be better off not close to her. x

The new girl cheated on him? Excuse me a minute........

;D ;D ;D 2funny 2funny 2funny ;D ;D ;D

Phew that's better!....justice is served LOL
 
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princessguinea

LOL! i know justice! Justice loves me!
but we acually were very close. we were like sisters and i took her everywhere with me (shes 4 yeras younger than me)

i just dont know...sigh
 
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Like Bev says, if she is the stirring type, then best not to get involved again.

Thinking too about Jose - you don't want to keep being ever so friendly with you ex's family. It's not fair on him as they are part of your past.
Not to cut them out completely, but nicer all round if you're not too friendly.
 
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Yeah agree with Kelly about it not being fair on Jose, and from what you've told us he seems like a decent guy :)
 

Lucinda

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yes I agree. It could be painful for Jose. I would stick to being friends with piggies - much nicer.
 
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princessguinea

Thanks guys. Yea, Jose is a great guy and I dont wanna hurt him. Hes a very gentle soul.
I wish I could just strangle my ex and his girlfriend! It would make me feel better. :)
Why do women do this to each other, taking other women's men? I mean its his fault too, but her knowing he was engaged. You know it still hurts to this very day. sometimes I feel not good enough.
 
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princessguinea

aw, thanks, Lucinda.
Its so funny how things work coz he swore he would be happy and came back looking for me! somtimes i'm so over him and other days i hate him.
 

Lucinda

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I know exactly what you mean. I have had situations like that too. It can be very confusing.
 
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Don't think like that. You would never have met Jose if you were still with him.

Don't dwell on the past too much, you're life is now and in the future with Jose.
 
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DebbieR

Kelly's right. Everything happens for the best. You wouldn't be with Jose now if he'd stayed.

Cut the ties and leave him in the past. If you stay friends with his sister she will talk about him and it'll be like picking a scab. You need to heal completely.

He's someone else's problem now. Just be thankful he left.
 
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princessguinea

Thanks, girls. I guess it was for the best. when we were together, he was always out with friends and stuff. ALL THE TIME! I only would see him like once a week and even that was too much for him! he took me for granted. now hes always asking me when we're gonna "hang out". i just laugh coz if only his girlfriend knew! she even called me once to confront me coz she saw my number in his phone! well, dat was hell coz i called her every name in the book! >:(
dat hurt too coz he let her call me! then he says he cares for me! hes such a jerk!
now he talks to me like nothing. he tells me of the baby and how hes going on vacation next year blah blah... >:(
 
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Why are you even talking to this guy when he's never bothered any other time? I don't think it's fair on Jose
 
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princessguinea

you know, i dont even know! i guess because i was with him since puberty and its still hard to stop talking to him. i mean on my end i can never call him and be fine (coz i never call, he makes all the calls). i guess if he calls i talk and if not, i dont care either, and i guess also coz i wanna see how much he suffers. does that sound weird or what?! ?
 
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princessguinea

well jose knows i talk to the family and have gone over there, but he doesnt know i still speak to my ex. i feel bad about it but i never take it farther than over the phone. and like i said, i never call him, its always my ex that calls and looks for me.
 
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I think you make it worse when he doesn't know that you still talk to your ex? You're hiding and keeping secrets from Jose, which is not good in a relationship.What will he think if he finds out?

Is it something that you want to lose Jose over? Jose's not going to see it as just 'talking'.
 
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