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is it really too much to ask?!

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Fox'n'muffin said:
Unfortunately there are so many people who are never taught how to clear up after themselves as children, so they really don't know how to do it,or have no inclination to do it as adults.

It makes my blood boil when parents refuse to let or teach their children to do household chores ("it's easier to do it myself" or "but they're children- they'll have enough of that to do when they're grown up")....all that does is create adults who don't have a clue how to look after themselves when they leave home....
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My boyfriends brother is supposed to be going to uni this September and he was complaining the other week that his mum took too long to make him a cheese sandwich.

My boyfriend has had things done for him as well, his mum washes all his clothes etc but she takes money off him like he's a free bank, and sometimes she does have a cheek complaining that he's not done something when hes paying for her to sit on her bum all day.

When we go away on holiday I have had the whole "ok lets wash up then we can do XYZ" "I've just eaten" "Yes but they're easier to clean if they're done now and then it's all sorted for tomorrow" "hmn" "i'll start on it.." "no I'll do it"

Start clicker training him :))
 
I do the cooking and OH does the washing up or it doesn't get done and I can't and won't cook. I gave up telling him to put dirty clothes in the basket and clean ones folded in the wardrobe so I only sort out my stuff. I won't wash his clothes that are left around and I'll have a go at him if he moans his clean clothes are creased if he hasn't bothered to fold them and put them away. I've been with him for 4 and a half years and he knows it's my way or nothing. I agree, just tell him if he doesn't do it, too bad, it won't get done, it'll be his fault and let him get on with it. He'll have to learn not to be spoilt and contribute. My step dad is the same, he, my half brother and step brother expect my mum who has extremely bad arthritis to do everything for them and have a go at her otherwise, even if it's because she's in so much pain she literally can't move. When I visit, I take over because I think it's absolutely disgusting that they treat her like that! I go shopping for her, i unpack it all, i set and clear the table, do the dishes, clean the bathroom and kitchen, hoover the house and sort out the washing, all stuff they expect her to do while they sit on their backsides. But even they know I won't stand for being treated as a skivy so they will do some stuff themselves like getting their own drinks, putting dirty clothes in the basket - again what they expect my mum to do when I'm not there. My mum says that Romanian men tend to be like that, but my dad (her ex husband) isn't, so it's just them IMO. I am a half romanian red head with part Scottish blood and the temper to match so they won't push me as far as her and I've told her to be more assertive about it but getting abuse 3 against 1 is hard so I can understand why shed rather just do it and get some peace. Sorry, seemed to have hijacked the thread with a rant of my own lol but at least you know, from all the replies that others have to put up with it all too...

Hugs
 
I know exactly how you feel. Correct me if I'm wrong but all men are like it in some way it's their giant man-ego getting in the way. I've been with my OH for about 4 years now and he uses the same excuse all the time.
 
WE HAVE PROGRESS!

I had a polite word with him in bed last night, saying it's not fair that I do everything. His excuse "you make me get up too early for work, i'm used to going in at 10", (we're on flexi-time, and i like to get in for 8 ).

But this morning, i said you have 5 minutes to put any of your dirty washing in the wash basket or its not getting washed. & he did!

Baby steps!
 
is 8 am early to get to work ? all the years of school, college, work etc I think 8 is late! :-)

I tried to get my OH to do stuff, hes one of these mum did everything kids. I asked him on a morning to make the bed and take our water glasses to the sink while I see to the animals ... has he ehver done it ... no!

this was his in january : He wont cook, he strops and stresses over being asked to do the pots ... wont do half the housework , doesnt do the washing etc so I only cook for me, and dont do any cleaning or tidying then all of a sudden after 10 days or so he clicks and goes insane and cleans the whole house (I rinse all the dishes so they are not dirty) and I spray the surfaces in teh kitchen but I have takne to just throwing junk mail, pop bottles etc all over the floor and leaving them to give him a taste of his own medicine (at his his mum cleans it all up) ...

tbh I used to be OCD clean but this living in a dive and throwing non dirty rubbish all over is making him do something! and its working slowly!

every sunday the house now gets a full scrub and tidy weekly ... but it took 4 months of horrendous conditions before any changes started! ... obviously the animal room was kept clean :-)

cant beleive I admiteed to living in disgusting condtiions ... not worse than student digs though1
 
Bekki2308 said:
cant beleive I admiteed to living in disgusting condtiions ... not worse than student digs though1
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Student houses are THE worst!
I hated every minute of it haha!

My room was always spotless, and my housemates never cleaned the kitchen/living room! Bleughhhh.

My OH came to live with me there too, and basically he said it was vile and we were never living like that...now look where we are :| Admittedly, student houses are dirty, not messy.

I'd never let my house be dirty. I just cannot stand mess!
 
I say my house is dirty and minging after a week but its not really as there are only 2 of us so the worst it gets is a few bread crumbs in the living room and a few saucs splashes on the kithcen floor ...

its just insanely messy in my opinion (tidier than some houses ive been in) but the throwing rubbish on the floor and leaving it trick really got to my OH and he now tidies up the obviously rubbish and he is starting to accept cleaning the kitchen nightly if I have cooked. Toilet gets scrubbed daily (he doenst know this) ... I have been in "clean" student digs and they were rank! I cant cope with a dirty kitchen/bathroom ... other rooms I can live as they never really get dirty just needs a dust once per week.

I waffle I'm sure you know what I mean though!
 
Amylittlehands said:
I know exactly how you feel. Correct me if I'm wrong but all men are like it in some way it's their giant man-ego getting in the way. I've been with my OH for about 4 years now and he uses the same excuse all the time.
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I'll correct you, i'm nothing like that. My wife and I are a team and share all the household chores. Highway jr also does his share round the house. We make him do it so he knows what to do when he gets his own place. ;)
 
The Highway Man said:
I'll correct you, i'm nothing like that. My wife and I are a team and share all the household chores. Highway jr also does his share round the house. We make him do it so he knows what to do when he gets his own place. ;)
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Ah modern men. There should be a class you could teach to the cavemen still lurking around today :))
 
amywithpiggies said:
Ah modern men. There should be a class you could teach to the cavemen still lurking around today :))
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Not a modern man, just a 44 year old ex soldier who knows how to cook, clean, iron, sew, use a washing machine and put the toilet seat down. ;)
 
The Highway Man said:
Not a modern man, just a 44 year old ex soldier who knows how to cook, clean, iron, sew, use a washing machine and put the toilet seat down. ;)
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Can we get you to set up a lazy-boy bootcamp?

That said, although we don't live together, my boyfriend is actually pretty good. He even helps me tidy my incredibly messy room when he's over and will help with just about anything I need to do. I just hope he doesn't turn into a slob when we finally get to move in somewhere together! Though, if you ask him, I'm the one that's the slob... ") I'm quite happy tidying and cleaning everywhere but my room and considering for the last 4 years I've been at uni I've lived in 'my room'... yeah, it gets in a bit of a state!
 
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