6 Months Later Still Grieving

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Rochester Piggy

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My piggy Peanut passed away quickly and painlessly on December 5th, 2016, of pneumonia. It's been 6 months and I'm still grieving for her. A few times a month (about 2 times/month) I will cry for 30 minutes or more because of her. I've also become more jumpy and anxious since she died. If I think somethings wrong with her sister, Cali, even though I know she is perfectly healthy, I completely freak out, hold her crying, and say things like "I love you baby", "stay with me", etc. My boyfriend has to practically wrestle Cali out of my hands. He has to weigh her while I'm out of the house because I'm terrified of her losing weight, as Peanut did when she fell ill (350 grams). I am still a very happy person in general, but when it comes to this, I'm an emotional wreck. What's wrong with me? Is this normal?
 
We all handle loss in different ways and I think being more anxious is likely. But if you feel that it's affecting your everyday life then it would be worth contacting your doctor or calling a pet bereavement helpline.
 
I'm sorry, it really can be hard dealing with the loss. I lost Kiwi, the piggy in this photo, last September and when I go to pet stores I still look at the baby guinea pigs and rescues in case she's there waiting for me to buy her again! I'm not crying anymore but I could do if I really thought about her and the situation. Kiwi was a Teddy or a Rex, not sure which, and when I found a lone sow with similar fur, I bought her and that has helped with my feeling of loss. A couple of weeks ago I got a rescue neutered boar with similar fur, and it has been such an experience having him, it has helped me further shift from my feeling of loss. Does Cali have a new friend now? They really do need to have company.
 
When we lose a loved one it takes time to work through the stages of grief. There's debate about whether there are 5 stages or 7. Everyone passes through these stages at different rates. There's no right or wrong way but if you find you are "stuck" in one of the stages and cannot move on then perhaps it is time to seek help.
Some describe grief as coming in waves, at first the waves are overpowering but eventually they die down and you can feel more on an even keel and able to cope with them.
I lost 2 beloved piggies last year within a few weeks of each other. I still have days when I am weepy about them. I think it's normal if you are deeply bonded to your piggies to grieve for them as you would any other family member. Be kind to yourself.
 
JenniferG said:
I'm sorry, it really can be hard dealing with the loss. I lost Kiwi, the piggy in this photo, last September and when I go to pet stores I still look at the baby guinea pigs and rescues in case she's there waiting for me to buy her again! I'm not crying anymore but I could do if I really thought about her and the situation. Kiwi was a Teddy or a Rex, not sure which, and when I found a lone sow with similar fur, I bought her and that has helped with my feeling of loss. A couple of weeks ago I got a rescue neutered boar with similar fur, and it has been such an experience having him, it has helped me further shift from my feeling of loss. Does Cali have a new friend now? They really do need to have company.
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We tried a friend and Cali bullied her, so we returned her to the rescue
 
VickiA said:
When we lose a loved one it takes time to work through the stages of grief. There's debate about whether there are 5 stages or 7. Everyone passes through these stages at different rates. There's no right or wrong way but if you find you are "stuck" in one of the stages and cannot move on then perhaps it is time to seek help.
Some describe grief as coming in waves, at first the waves are overpowering but eventually they die down and you can feel more on an even keel and able to cope with them.
I lost 2 beloved piggies last year within a few weeks of each other. I still have days when I am weepy about them. I think it's normal if you are deeply bonded to your piggies to grieve for them as you would any other family member. Be kind to yourself.
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I did research on the 5 stages. I feel like I accepted she was gone but I'm still grieving.
 
It's been just over 4 months since she passed so it's understandable you are still grieving. Especially if you had a particularly strong bond.

It will take time but eventually you will be able to think of her without the tears. It's also natural to be anxious about the remaining piggies health particularly if Peanut passing was a shock. It will get better I promise.

In the meantime lots of hugs for you.
 
I lost Bumble in August last year and I still shed tears most night when I go to bed - I think also as I have no partner (haven't since 2004 - just not met anyone worth shaving my hairy legs for lol!) I was really heavily emotionally invested in him - I too looked at all the piggies out there expecting to find a "mini Me" of him - but took on an Abyssinian tri coloured boar of 4 weeks as this was the same breed and coloring as Bumble - and he has so many of Bumbles characteristics (except the half ginger face ) he even shakes his right back leg when you give him a full handed back massage, just like Bumble did - I even talk to him about his "Uncle Bumble" and how proud he would be that he is growing into a big strong boar! - bed time is like the Waltons - I say goodnight to all my past pigs (5) so in years to come it's going to take me a long time to say my prayers - they leave us too soon - but I am so glad I had the chance to love him - so I know how you feel - and I think your perfectly normal - big hugs to you xx
 
Squeakz said:
It's been just over 4 months since she passed so it's understandable you are still grieving. Especially if you had a particularly strong bond.

It will take time but eventually you will be able to think of her without the tears. It's also natural to be anxious about the remaining piggies health particularly if Peanut passing was a shock. It will get better I promise.

In the meantime lots of hugs for you.
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She died very suddenly and fast. Sometimes in the morning I'm scared to go to the cage because I'm scared I'll find her in a hidey dead...
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's always very difficult to cope with losing a pet and I know what you're going through. I lost my girl a week ago and her sister 4months before that. And now one of my other girls is showing signs of a UTI or stones and is booked into the vets tomorrow. I'm dreading it. It's perfectly normal to be jumpy over the health of your pets. There have been many times I've gotten up in the night to check on them because Ive heard something I don't like. I constantly weigh daily when I'm worried, even though I know there's probably nothing to worry about and get so stressed if they loose the tiniest bit of weight.

It's so difficult and you never do truly get over the loss of a family member. Just try and remember that you did everything you could for her and it's not your fault. You're taking brilliant care of her sister and being over careful is definitely better than being under careful.

I hope this helps. I know nothing we say can ever take away your pain. Just remember that everybody is here for you.
 
Cuddles With Cavies said:
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's always very difficult to cope with losing a pet and I know what you're going through. I lost my girl a week ago and her sister 4months before that. And now one of my other girls is showing signs of a UTI or stones and is booked into the vets tomorrow. I'm dreading it. It's perfectly normal to be jumpy over the health of your pets. There have been many times I've gotten up in the night to check on them because Ive heard something I don't like. I constantly weigh daily when I'm worried, even though I know there's probably nothing to worry about and get so stressed if they loose the tiniest bit of weight.

It's so difficult and you never do truly get over the loss of a family member. Just try and remember that you did everything you could for her and it's not your fault. You're taking brilliant care of her sister and being over careful is definitely better than being under careful.

I hope this helps. I know nothing we say can ever take away your pain. Just remember that everybody is here for you.
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I'm the exact same way. Now I know I'm not alone! I was talking to my mum on the phone about my worrying and she says I got it from her! I'm like "No way! You don't worry about anything!" She said "I do, but I don't show it!"
 
I'm really sorry for your loss. If it's any consolation, I still shed some tears over Linney, who was very near to my heart. She passed over two years ago. It takes time, and some losses are harder to grieve than others (I think I mourned Linney harder than Sundae, who passed just a few months ago... although I miss Sundae, she had so many health issues that I think I felt more happy that she lived as long as she did than sad when she finally passed, if that makes sense.) In your case, I would be more concerned with the anxiety component if it is affecting your life and your relationship with other people/pets. It might be worth talking to someone about it. I've dealt with anxiety in my own past and have had to work very consciously to make myself realize that worry is counterproductive... it doesn't prevent what you are fearing and robs you of your enjoyment of the present moment. I would recommend looking up some information on cognitive-behavioral techniques on dealing with anxiety, which focuses on challenging anxious thoughts. It's not an exaggeration to say that learning to do this significantly improved my life, whereas before I spent a lot of time worrying about things that I couldn't change. Hope this helps a bit... hang in there!
 
I'm sorry for your loss :(
I have a post here somewhere in here about my pigs I had 10 years ago. Sometimes its still painful to look back, having the new pigs has helped a lot. Forging a bond with my moody little madam Bramble helped even more.
They become such a big part of your life, it takes time.. grief is different for everyone. Do reach out if it is becoming hard to deal with. Xx
 
It's been 9 months since I had to have my 18 year old cat pts from kidney failure. I still miss her really bad and feel sad whenever I think of her. I don't think i'll be able to have a cat again for a long time. I just try to focus on the piggies as they are alive and need me. There's no time limit on grief so what you are feeling for your beloved piggie is completely normal.
 
Rochester Piggy said:
I'm the exact same way. Now I know I'm not alone! I was talking to my mum on the phone about my worrying and she says I got it from her! I'm like "No way! You don't worry about anything!" She said "I do, but I don't show it!"
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You're never alone. We're all mad here! Haha

But in all seriousness your not alone. You care for your piggie and are natureally worried about them. There's nothing strange or weird about that.

We're all the same here ;)
 
I am really sorry for your loss, grief is a very personal journey and no one grieves alike. But everything you are feeling is perfectly normal. Take time to be kind to yourself.
 
Thanks guys.
I have a memorial frame for Peanut with pictures of her in it, and I still cry when I look at it. My best friend loved Peanut dearly, and when I texted her the bad news the morning after Peanut passed, she got mad and didn't believe me until she came over and we visited Peanuts grave. She searched the cage and started crying when she couldn't find Peanut. I hugged her (by this time I was also sobbing) and said "Nora, Peanut's gone." This really helped to have another person mourning as hard as I was.
 
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