Ozzy here. You don't know me, but I am actually your big brother and I would like to give you some tips on how to deal with your slave when she decides it's time to attack you with brushes and scissors when you need grooming. Right, are you listening? If slave comes at you with a brush you need to lull her into a false sense of security by behaving yourself, then you need to play out and kick your legs out at her and wheek to let her know you are not enjoying the man-handling. I find that wheeking helps as my slave starts to feel sorry for me and stops doing what shes doing. Though secretly there is nothing wrong with me at all. I just like to be scruffy - none of that primping and preening she enjoys.
I mean, we're manly boars for pig's sake. We need to be scruffy, rocking the natural look and looking as handsome as we do.
Hopefully your slave will get the hint soon. Mine hasn't; but I'm working on it. She must be a bit dim.
Ozzy.
PS: My slave would like me to tell you that she finds you incredibly cute and whilst I will always be her favourite (I'd bite her if I wasn't); she is loving the family resemblance and can't believe how our mummy could have babies that look nothing like her and look like us. We rock.
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