A Moan by Hazelnut

S

Sparklepetal

Teenage Guinea Pig
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Hello fellow piggies, Hazelnut here. I try to be a water-bottle-half-full kind of sow, but honestly sometimes everypig has a Bad Day.

Things didn't start well because I could hear slave making lots of excited noises early in the morning and assumed it meant early breakfast, but no, she ignored us until the usual time. Apparently it was more interesting to check the wildlife camera and find a Badger visited the garden (whatever a Badger may be!) than to provide veggies to her faithful pigs!

Then after lunch I was peacefully sleeping under the hay when the younger slave turned traitor and pulled me rudely out for Nail Clipping! I wriggled as hard as possible, and made my usual extreme squeals every time slave got a snip in.

And finally, I had a bit of hay in my eye. It hurt yes, but I could screw it up and hope nobody noticed. But that pesky young slave saw it straight away and I was whisked off to the V. E. T. who said she would squeeze me in at the end of her clinic. She pulled the hay out, gave me undignified green zombie eye dye, and prescribed a Week Of Drops 😢

So I am fed up and going to sleep.
signal-2022-07-10-17-46-18-311.webp

Oh apparently *this* is a Badger. Big fuss about nothing if you ask me!

badger 1.webp
 
Oh dear Hazelnut, you are a very hard done by piggy.
Priscilla approves of the wriggling and squealing so that all your neighbours know you are being horribly tortured.
Micah suggests that when you have to endure eye drops that you wait until the moment, just when the drop is about to go in, then squeeze your eye tightly shut.

Awesome picture of the badger 🥰
 
Hope your eye is ok. That badger thing is ok I suppose. Not as amazing as you obviously.
 
Dear Hazelnut

The fact you were made to wait for breakfast is unforgiveable! The picture of the badger would still have been there after your Slave had fed you but you could have faded away with hunger while she was checking the camera footage. Unfortunately having our nails clipped is a thing we piggies have to learn to endure but waking you up to have your nails clipped is completely unforgivable. There you were, having a nice kip only to be rudely awakened! And to have to have a visit to the nasty vet man, well you have my sympathy there but at least your eye will be feeling better after a week of eye drops.

Next time your Slave makes you wait for your breakfast, wheek really loudly so that everybody knows that you are being starved. This way your Slave will be so embarrassed that she will feed you. If she fails to take the hint, look forlornly in her direction and run from empty food bowl to empty food bowl. If you are scatter fed, snuffle about in the hay, on your bedding or substrate and look forlornly at her.

The advice you have been given by Micah re the eyedrops is excellent, but you have to make sure that 1 drop goes after a while so that your eye gets better.

You have done marvellously at letting your Slave know that you don't like your nails being clipped. Well done. Keep up the protests and next time add in a couple of nips for good measure.

Yours not very happy how you have been treated

The One and Only Thea
Shop Steward
 
Dear Hazelnut, that was a truely horrible day!
We know exactely how you feel. There was a lot of late breakfasts around here in the last couple of days ... and we had our nails clipped yesterday. :yikes:
At least we didn't have to do the VET thing.
You are entitled to a lot of extra treats!
Wheeks from Billie
 
Oh Hazlenut. Today must be a calendar day for Really Bad Piggy Days. I was quite happy minding my own business having a lovely snooze on a knee when the human decided it was imperative I had a “bum bath” there and then. Okay, I might have had a squishy poo and it might have been all mushed up in my pants but I wouldn’t have mushed it into my pants if I didn’t want it there! So she plonked me in a washing up bowl without even asking. Not only that but she used a hairdryer so I “didn’t catch cold” and has left my back end all fluffy. The very worst bit was when she picked through the lovely pile of poops I produced during the ordeal whilst muttering about NO VEG 😳😳😳😳.

Today is clearly not a good day.

Love from Jenny xx
 
Thanks for all the solidarity fellow piggies, I'm particularly cheered by receiving encouragement from The One and Only Thea. So sorry to hear about the devastation to your carefully crafted poopy-pants Jenny, and the late breakfasts and nail clippings in Billie's house! Micah's eye drop tip sounds useful and I will make sure to try it a few times but also allow a few drops in because my eye hurts and maybe the Vet knows what will help?

Yours, determined to have a better day today,

Hazelnut x
 
Hazelnut what a day you had! Hope the eye is healing up well and those pesky slaves are leaving you be x
That Badger is quite amazing, I can see what all the fuss was about 😆
 
What a horrible day you had and eye drops for a wheek? That's ridiculous! Remember to do the squinty-eye thing before you let a drop in to register your protest. That's what I did when I had them. Hope your eye gets better though. I don't know about those badgery things but they mustn't come between you and you breakfast! Surely slave knows that as soon as they get out of their hidey-or wherever slaves sleep-in the morning the very first job is to provide us with yummy breakfast. Thems the rules!
Hope you have a more peaceful day. Luv Faye.xx
 
Sparklepetal said:
Thanks for all the solidarity fellow piggies, I'm particularly cheered by receiving encouragement from The One and Only Thea. So sorry to hear about the devastation to your carefully crafted poopy-pants Jenny, and the late breakfasts and nail clippings in Billie's house! Micah's eye drop tip sounds useful and I will make sure to try it a few times but also allow a few drops in because my eye hurts and maybe the Vet knows what will help?

Yours, determined to have a better day today,

Hazelnut x
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Hello Hazelnut. I just wanted to show you some support as I am also a Hazelnut. How terrible you had to see the V.E.T. I have never been myself but some of my friends have. They call them the pokey proddy people, which doesn't sound good at all. Hope you have a much better day today20220726_203641.webp
 
Thanks everyone, today is going well because I was given some honeydew melon skin! I think my slave must love me after all 😍

I am a bit confused that there is another Hazelnut out there in the world. I think you will have to be called Tufty Hazelnut and I will be Smooth Hazelnut because we have very different hairstyles! I hope your slave gives you fruity treat snacks sometimes too, Tufty Hazelnut, we Nutty Piggies deserve the very best 😁

I have forgotten my morning eyedrop now but I suspect the slaves will remember to give me another before long. My eye is not looking nasty so that's good.

Love from Smooth Hazelnut x
 
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