A plea for help from Lenny

[Winniepeg]

Please help me all good piggy slaves. I’m very traumatised. Mummy bribed me with fresh coriander, green bean and cucumber. Two hours later she brushed me and said I looked like a punk rocker whatever that is. After that she trimmed my nails, checked me over for lumps and bumps and most indignant was she looked at my boys bits to check no hay was stuck there. Now I’m told I have to weighed tomorrow. I can tell her already that I haven’t been given enough food x

 

[Claire W]

Aw Lenny, your mummy is very naughty. I would demand more food and treats if I were you x

 

[Bill & Ted]

Aw Lenny I can see you are being staved, you are wasting away!

 

[Betsy]

Dear Lenny

I am writing to you from my holiday home at Aunty Lucy's such is my horror at how your Slave has mistreated you! Luckily I have never had to be brushed so don't know what that is like but I learnt from my predecessor The Ever Beautiful Betsy that is a very traumatic experience, she absolutely hated it and learnt to keep herself tidy so the brush and comb only ever came out at bum trim time and also the traumatic "summer furdo experience" (which was completely awful where her Slave shaved off her beautiful locks ). So you have my sympathy. The embarrassment of having your boy bits inspected must have been mortifying - is nothing private these days?!?

You need to let your Slave know in no uncertain terms that you DO NOT like this treatment that she clearly thinks is OK. When she tries to pick you up to weigh you tomorrow, run and hide in the most difficult part of your cage for her to reach you, when she think she has hold of you, run away again and only let her pick you up when you are too exhausted to run off. When she has managed to pick you up, wriggle like mad and make it really hard for her to hold on to you (but not so hard that she drops you - this bit is hard to judge but with a bit of practice can be achieved).

Yours hoping that you are never humiliated again

The One and Only Thea
Shop Steward.

 

[Adelyn]

Hello Lenny,

I am very sorry to hear about this! I can relate with the nail clipping () and the brushing ()! Horrible. For some weird reason though, Clover actually likes being brushed

Many wheeks,
Stella

 

[Princess Dustmop]

Lenny,
I can totally relate! My human combs me, and it can be quite an ordeal. I squiggle lots to make her want to set me down, so I can promenade away. When the vet tried to look in my mouth a little while back, I screamed at the top of my lungs ... several people came to check on my welfare. You could try that technique ...

Best of luck,
Lexa, Princess Dustmop

 

[Merab]

Dear Lenny,
I feel for you.
Although I don’t need brushing I do think it’s very demeaning to have my boy bits checked. ( ok, I admit it was more comfortable when Slave removed a piece of hay from where it shouldn’t have been).
My tactic is to look pathetic and long suffering but all that happens is I get told that doesn’t work anymore.

It’s a hard life for us boars.
Love from Micah