Abit Morbid But..

[JennaAnysse]

Hi, I have six squigs, ( in order of my picture ) Mabel, Honey, Blackjack, Aragorn, Legolas & Toffee Jr. Sadly this year I have lost two guineas due to unrelated causes, Gandalf a gorgeous grey Abyssinian 4 weeks ago from a respiratory infection that even though we rushed him to the vets and they did everything they could it didn't save him. In January I lost Trevor, Toffee's brother who I've had both since they where born as I had their Mum Babs before them. I checked him right before I went to bed and he was fine squeaking away nothing unusual and then in the morning he was gone. I still don't understand what happened. Anyway they are both cremated and have their own special spot where I can chat to them, but getting to the point... how do you deal with losing your piggies? Every time I tend to my babies I end up feeling very sad or crying because they were such characters and now I they are not there, it really has left a big dent. I love all my piggies so much I'm literally known as crazy guinea pig lady to all my co-workers and I drive my boyfriend up the wall because I'm constantly in pet shops spending my rent money because they just HAVE to have the fancy treats and special hay or they NEED a new few chew toys... but feel like I'm worried whenever I go in the guinea pig room now thinking something bad will have happened. I don't think my heart can handle loosing another piggy. Have any of you ever experienced this anxiety? Any advice on coping and grieving over lost pigs?

Thank you!

 

[Beans&Toast]

I am exactly the same.
My toast has been quite ill last month or so.
Bladder infection/respiratory infection/ bloat and arthritis and although she's still here it's broke my heart.
I find myself watching the two of them for hours, just watching to see if anything happens and I get scared to be out of the house for too long incase anything happened.
The slightest thing makes me think I need to rush them to the vet now because I'm so scared I'll miss a subtle sign of illness.
I've cried so much the past couple weeks.
I've had Toast at emergency vets at 6am and normal vets about 6 times in 2 weeks. She's had scans and xrays to show bloating and arthritis and it's just been awful. I feel so useless that I can't help her. And now I'm worried that I'm not giving Beans enough attention as Toast is taking up a lot of time right now.

So I completely understand how you feel

 

[Sar]

Your posts @JennaAnysse & @Beans&Toast really relate to me at the moment.
We lost Biscuit in October, I found her at 6am before I went to work. She'd been poorly with a respiratory infection and swollen throat, we'd had numerous vet visits, antibiotics & anti imflammatories. We felt like we were slowly winning but it wasn't to be. It broke my heart to lose her just a week before we would celebrate her birthday. Anyway, then we contacted the local rescue as although Fudge was eating fine she was just sitting cuddled up to a blanket all day. Romily came to stay for bonding on what would have been Biscuit's birthday, she never left!

It took me a while to bond with her, at first I wouldn't hold her, wouldn't let her lick me (its her fav thing to do) as I felt like I was being disloyal to my little Biscuit. I love her to bits now and am so worried all the time about both of them I'm constantly checking them. Romily was at the vets on Thursday, she has a runny nose and this is day 4 of Baytril. We started her with probiotic yesterday & today her poos seem much more normal (we had a few tiny ones yesterday which worried me) plus she's eating more too. It's a bit too raw still about Biscuit though, so I am petrified of missing things/not doing enough.

The thought of anything happening to them scares me and I am paranoid now I will admit that. I feel guilty too becasue since my new job in September I'm generally out of the house 4/5 days a week so thats an added worry about if I miss something while I'm out. My brother is not much use. He was going to get a probiotic on Fri (after we'd contacted the rescue for any advice they could give) but decided not to bother as he said he wasn't messing about before he went to work. He couldn't understand my tears when he came home without one or my tears yesterday (I was full blown sobbing, unable to breathe) when he came home at midnight after finishing work at 6pm - he had promised to come straight home and check the pigs over for me.

 

[Beans&Toast]

So sorry about your little biscuit.

I know the feeling of being so scared something might happen to them.
Toast is all over the place just now, she was really ill with a respiratory infection then she seemed to be getting better then she goes down hill again, gets bloat and puts on weight, then loses a lot in 1 day. It's nerve wracking.
I totally relate to what you're saying about your brother, some people just don't get it. I'm in the position that my boyfriend doesn't really understand how much they mean to me. He loves animals himself but he thinks I take it too far with the pigs, but I see no difference whether it's loving and worrying about a human or an animal. It's a living creature that's capable of love, pain and emotion so they deserve love just as much as us.
I think we're doing the best we can by our piggies. And I especially need to realise I can't prevent everything, all we can do is be observant without it taking over our lives..

 

[JennaAnysse]

I'm so sorry about your piggy

I'm glad I'm not the only one. It's just so hard losing them. Thankfully my boyfriend rides my crazy train of guinea pigs and does understand when things go wrong. When Legolas was sick a few months ago, he had lost a lot of weight and basically looked like he was on deaths door, my bf pooled together the money with me for his v. expensive vets bill and helped a lot and was really supportive as he knows how much they mean to me.
Sadly I know not everyone gets how important they are to us.

I just hope the feeling of dread starts to wear off whenever I go into their room. But it is comforting knowing you guys understand the feeling. And I know, it's so hard when you feel like there is nothing you can do or that in someway, however irrational, that it's your fault . I hope your piggy gets better!

Thankyou for commenting girlies!

 

[Beans&Toast]

You're definitely not the only one.
I found myself breaking down into tears at random points throughout the day because I'm just so sick with worry about Toast. And now Beans is acting a bit off, I'm not sure if it's because I've had to temporarily seperate them so I can watch Toast's eating/pooing and maybe she's feeling a bit stressed with the change but it's just so worrying.

My boyfriend does know how much they mean to me but I can tell he doesn't quite understand it.. They are my absolute world and I'd be devastated if anything happened to them.

If you're still feeling like you're struggling to cope with the loss of your piggies there's a pet bereavement number you can phone. I think it's the blue cross.. people have found that very helpful, talking to someone who's trained to help and fully understands the damage losing a pet can cause.

 

[Swissgreys]

I also think allowing yourself to worry and be sad is important.
You should never try to just brush it off, or feel silly because 'it's only an animal'.
Over the years we have lost a lot of pets (we are good owners, I promise!).
I always found that creating a tangible memorial helped a lot.
I have a miniature weeping willow in the corner of the garden, and on the fence behind it I have an engraved ID tag for every pet we have ever lost, with their name on it. It probably sounds a bit morbid, but if I am missing someone in particular I can go out to the tree and think about them.
Or I sometimes leave them a treat there.
I guess this is the same as visiting a grave for a human who has died, but all of my pets share a tree.

 

[Beans&Toast]

I also think allowing yourself to worry and be sad is important.
You should never try to just brush it off, or feel silly because 'it's only an animal'.
Over the years we have lost a lot of pets (we are good owners, I promise!).
I always found that creating a tangible memorial helped a lot.
I have a miniature weeping willow in the corner of the garden, and on the fence behind it I have an engraved ID tag for every pet we have ever lost, with their name on it. It probably sounds a bit morbid, but if I am missing someone in particular I can go out to the tree and think about them.
Or I sometimes leave them a treat there.
I guess this is the same as visiting a grave for a human who has died, but all of my pets share a tree.

That's a lovely idea

 

[Critter]

I find that grieving is a very up and down thing, with people and with animals. I have lost four piggies and miss them all. The latest to cross over to the Bridge did so under unexpected circumstances, well to be fair I wasn't expecting it with any of them, but though I've moved things on in that her partner now has two new companions and she is happy again, and I'm adoring them, I still feel those tears welling up....

They do know how to make us worry don't they, I'm alert to every thing they do that seems unusual, etc... I know you know that feeling. But I find it best to let the joyous things that the others do to fill my heart. There will always be a place in there for those who have gone no matter how full it is with the others, but just to go with those lovely piggy-moments that they give in abundance in so many ways

@Swissgreys that's a beautiful idea - the Willow and tags.

 

[Sar]

It's the price we pay for loving them I suppose, not that it makes it any easier or hurt any less.

Romily has had a lovely day, we even got Baytril in her in two goes. It would have been one but her paw escaped and batted the syringe away. It was so cute! I'm just on Amazon buying them a present.

Hope everyone is ok, it helped me vent on here earlier, so thank you.

 

[Freela]

((HUGS.)) I've said before to my husband and friends that sometimes I feel like I am going through 'small animal burnout.' I've had small pets all my life.. and the downside is the relatively limited life expectancy. At times I feel like I have gone through bereavement overload because it ends up being so many losses in such a relatively short time. I lost one of my original pigs (Linney) a little over a year ago, and it was very hard because she was really a great pet and I was very close to her. It was definitely very emotionally hard, and the fact that my kids took it hard too probably made it worse for me, because it's hard to see your kids hurting (my youngest was especially devastated, she actually did not remember a time without Linney because she was only 2 when we got her. Linney was a huge lap pet and my youngest spent a lot of time with her.) Right now I'm probably going through some anticipatory grieving with Sundae (turning 6 and has had a lot of health issues over the years.) She's obviously aging, has lost vision and muscle mass, and had ongoing issues with her bladder. She most likely will not be here next year, so although she's well considering her age and circumstances now, I know the time is coming and have anxiety/grief about it. I hate watching them age, and realistically with small pets, that process is fairly quick because they have relatively short lifespans.

I guess, for me, it comes down to whether the joy I get from the pets is worth the pain of losing them. And ultimately, for me it still is. I don't feel at home without some sort of animal in the house. I still miss the animals I've lost, sometimes quite acutely. But not enough to make it not worth having the next animal in my life. I keep their photos around (actually I am looking at one of Linney right now, as my daughter put one on top of my computer desk for me.) They definitely are not forgotten. They're still a part of our family lore, they are remembered, and we gave them beautiful lives for as long as we could. And in their passing they made room for other additions who will do the same. It doesn't make it easy, but it's inevitable that if we love something, we are hurt to lose it. I try to remind myself that I'm lucky to have had something that hurts so much to lose, and that the most productive thing I can do with that feeling is to pay it forward to another animal who also needs love and care and a home to grow old in.

 

[Critter]

((HUGS.)) I've said before to my husband and friends that sometimes I feel like I am going through 'small animal burnout.' I've had small pets all my life.. and the downside is the relatively limited life expectancy. At times I feel like I have gone through bereavement overload because it ends up being so many losses in such a relatively short time. I lost one of my original pigs (Linney) a little over a year ago, and it was very hard because she was really a great pet and I was very close to her. It was definitely very emotionally hard, and the fact that my kids took it hard too probably made it worse for me, because it's hard to see your kids hurting (my youngest was especially devastated, she actually did not remember a time without Linney because she was only 2 when we got her. Linney was a huge lap pet and my youngest spent a lot of time with her.) Right now I'm probably going through some anticipatory grieving with Sundae (turning 6 and has had a lot of health issues over the years.) She's obviously aging, has lost vision and muscle mass, and had ongoing issues with her bladder. She most likely will not be here next year, so although she's well considering her age and circumstances now, I know the time is coming and have anxiety/grief about it. I hate watching them age, and realistically with small pets, that process is fairly quick because they have relatively short lifespans.

I guess, for me, it comes down to whether the joy I get from the pets is worth the pain of losing them. And ultimately, for me it still is. I don't feel at home without some sort of animal in the house. I still miss the animals I've lost, sometimes quite acutely. But not enough to make it not worth having the next animal in my life. I keep their photos around (actually I am looking at one of Linney right now, as my daughter put one on top of my computer desk for me.) They definitely are not forgotten. They're still a part of our family lore, they are remembered, and we gave them beautiful lives for as long as we could. And in their passing they made room for other additions who will do the same. It doesn't make it easy, but it's inevitable that if we love something, we are hurt to lose it. I try to remind myself that I'm lucky to have had something that hurts so much to lose, and that the most productive thing I can do with that feeling is to pay it forward to another animal who also needs love and care and a home to grow old in.

Beautifully expressed and I think the last two sentences especially are very wise words, and very true x x