Adventures in the U.S.

Homestead Mom said:
After taking Buttercup from my housemate, I held out my hand for the hair she was picking from her clothes. What did I get? POOP! She handed me poop!
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If she had been giving Thea cuddles it would have been more than 1 poop I can assure you of that! My Queen of Poop may be 8 years and 4 months old but she sure has a healthy digestive system!
 
My psycho piggie is the only one to ever pee on me, and it was a stream! If I did not know better, I would think she was a boy. She is the daughter of the one that passed away last year. Her mom was crazy as a baby. If I so much as looked at her mother, she would be on a mammoth pile of poop.
 
I was visiting the next big town, and almost everyone in the supermarket was wearing a mask. Unfortunately, they had more material on their faces than their bodies. Their thick, jiggly bodies.

On the way home, I saw a billboard. “You would look really good up here!” I could hear a psychotic voice saying it, and picture a gory scene. I don’t know if that’s amusing or a sign that I have a lot of stress.
 
Homestead Mom said:
I was visiting the next big town, and almost everyone in the supermarket was wearing a mask. Unfortunately, they had more material on their faces than their bodies. Their thick, jiggly bodies.

On the way home, I saw a billboard. “You would look really good up here!” I could hear a psychotic voice saying it, and picture a gory scene. I don’t know if that’s amusing or a sign that I have a lot of stress.
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I hope you can relax and destress Homestead Mum 👍
 
I was baking, and Buttercup was complaining. I walked over, and she was fine. No one was paying attention to her. I walked away, and she started complaining again. I let it go, but she kept it up. I walk over, she’s standing in her castle alone, everyone is looking at me. I walk away…
Four times I went over. I finally wiped my hands, and picked her up. I carried her around a minute, and put her down. This time I went to get fresh grass. She complained, I put grass in, and there was silence. 🤷‍♀️
 
Dear Buttercup

I hear congratulations are in order. You managed to get your Slave to get you fresh grass. It took a while for your Slave to realise what you wanted (Slaves can be stupid sometimes). You are undeniably the spokespiggy of your herd. You were obviously asking for grass but as she hadn't bothered to learn how to speak guinea piggeese she didn't understand what you were clearly asking for. Slaves can't be bothered to learn guinea piggeese as it is far too difficult for them. We learn a few words of theirs though. We know all words relating to food, we know our names and various other words that our Slaves use that are special to them.

You friend in a crisis

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
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