Advice for chronic illness

[No-tb]

Hello,

I have a 3 year old guinea pig named Nasty. He is turning 4 in August. When he was 6 months old he had a severe ear infection and had developed a permanent head tilt. His brother was fine and in the same enclosure.

He recovered with antibiotics, meloxicam, and meclizine. The head tilt did not go away, but I was told it would most likely be permanent.

Starting when he was 2, he had an ear infection again in his inner right ear. Last year in December he lost a lot of weight and was in a critical state. However, I was feeding him every 2 hours with critical care and giving him medication. He recovered again and the head tilt was gone.

However starting in December to now he has had 2 flare ups. The vet and I decided to do ear surgery to flush out his right ear. This was 2 weeks ago. It took him about 3 days to start eating on his own and drinking.

Earlier this week he began declining again. The head tilt came back worse than ever, he began rollin and falling, not able to eat on his own. I took him in yesterday and the vet was very discouraged because the surgery should have fixed it or given more time before the next flare up.

I have been crying nonstop feeling so much guilt, fear, and hopelessness. The vet asked me if I wanted to euthanize him due to his chronic disease, but I said no.

He lost 100 grams. He usually weighs around 1200, but is now 1100. He is back in critical state and we have a recheck in two days. We are back on 3 medications and if he gets stable, we will try surgery on both ears in a few weeks. The vet is not confident it will fix his chronic disease.

I feel so alone as I try to find similar stories to Nasty, but I cannot find any. I would do anything for him. I am running out of options. If the surgery does not work then we will go back to his meds like before, but the flare ups would continue.

I got him and his brother in 2020 when I was severely depressed and losing hope. Spicy died due to complications with surgery in 2022. Nasty has been more active, playful, and sweet since being an only pig. I wanted to get a new pig, but with his flare ups, I have been hesitant.

He is all I have. I feel so alone. Does anyone else have a guinea pig with chronic illness that has lived a long life with flare ups?

Starting today, he is able to hold himself up better, is eating critical care, but his poops are small. I am trying not to asphyxiate him. He started eating veggies today. I am about to give him meds and critical care again.

 

[Wiebke]

Hello,

I have a 3 year old guinea pig named Nasty. He is turning 4 in August. When he was 6 months old he had a severe ear infection and had developed a permanent head tilt. His brother was fine and in the same enclosure.

He recovered with antibiotics, meloxicam, and meclizine. The head tilt did not go away, but I was told it would most likely be permanent.

Starting when he was 2, he had an ear infection again in his inner right ear. Last year in December he lost a lot of weight and was in a critical state. However, I was feeding him every 2 hours with critical care and giving him medication. He recovered again and the head tilt was gone.

However starting in December to now he has had 2 flare ups. The vet and I decided to do ear surgery to flush out his right ear. This was 2 weeks ago. It took him about 3 days to start eating on his own and drinking.

Earlier this week he began declining again. The head tilt came back worse than ever, he began rollin and falling, not able to eat on his own. I took him in yesterday and the vet was very discouraged because the surgery should have fixed it or given more time before the next flare up.

I have been crying nonstop feeling so much guilt, fear, and hopelessness. The vet asked me if I wanted to euthanize him due to his chronic disease, but I said no.

He lost 100 grams. He usually weighs around 1200, but is now 1100. He is back in critical state and we have a recheck in two days. We are back on 3 medications and if he gets stable, we will try surgery on both ears in a few weeks. The vet is not confident it will fix his chronic disease.

I feel so alone as I try to find similar stories to Nasty, but I cannot find any. I would do anything for him. I am running out of options. If the surgery does not work then we will go back to his meds like before, but the flare ups would continue.

I got him and his brother in 2020 when I was severely depressed and losing hope. Spicy died due to complications with surgery in 2022. Nasty has been more active, playful, and sweet since being an only pig. I wanted to get a new pig, but with his flare ups, I have been hesitant.

He is all I have. I feel so alone. Does anyone else have a guinea pig with chronic illness that has lived a long life with flare ups?

Starting today, he is able to hold himself up better, is eating critical care, but his poops are small. I am trying not to asphyxiate him. He started eating veggies today. I am about to give him meds and critical care again.

Hi and welcome

I am very sorry for your loss and for Nasty's ongoing health problems. It sounds rather like he could be suffering from the effects of a calcified bulla (encapsulated middle ear infection) as the result of an un- or under-treated ear infection contracted at the commercial supply breeder's or at the pet store. There are currently quite a number of cases in the USA whereas the problem is very rare elsewhere in the world.
It is not uncommon that there are signs of calcification in the middle ear capsule in older guinea pigs. But Nasty is not old; he is in the prime of his life at 3 years of age. Unfortunately there is no cure because an encapsulated (i.e. walled-in) infection cannot be medically reached.
You can find detailed information on CBS (calcified bulla syndrome) and all its various symptoms and potential secondary complications in our information guide here: CBS (Calcified Bulla Syndrome) and Neurological Problems - Symptoms and Care

Please step in with top up feeding support in order to stabilise and recover the weight loss sustained during the flare up.Switch from weighing once weekly on your normal kitchen scales to weighing daily first thing in the morning for best day to day comparison because the daily weight swing is at its lowest and you can also plan out the feeding support for the coming day.
It takes about one day on average (2 with a sluggish gut) for food to ome out at the other end, which means that the poos only can tell you what has happened but never what is going on now and you will always be at least one day running behind in terms of stopping any further weight loss.
Please also keep in mind that over three quarters of what a guinea pig eats in a day is hay, which you quite simply cannot control by eye. You can also never judge whether your aren't seeing your piggy chew on some cud in the mouth or on all new food. The lack of food intake results in small and less poos once they come finally out. Veg/fresh forage, pellets/dry forage and any treats all together only repalce the supplementary role of the wild forage in the grass/hay diet that guinea pigs have evolved on.
- All About Syringe Feeding and Medicating Guinea Pigs with Videos and Pictures
- How to Improvise Feeding Support in an Emergency
- How To Pick Up And Weigh Your Guinea Pigs Safely (videos)
- Wiebke's Guide to Poops

As I know from my own experience, ear infections are very painful and can make chewing difficult so hay/tough grass fibre with their very abrasive silica (against which the constantly growing crucial grinding back teeth at the back have developed) is the first - but sadly main - food group to be impacted. Your weight monitoring and your appropriate feeding support whenever necessary are going to be crucial for managing any further flares.

I am sorry that I do not have better news. You are clearly a very caring owner and what is happening is most definitely not your fault or down to you doing something wrong. You haven't. CBS is not something most vets have come across, not even in the USA, so you cannot blame them for it, either.
All you can do is give Nasty love, enrichment and as many happy todays with a decent quality of life as he has left. Focus on making every day special so you can share the fun and create lots of precious, good memories - whether that is another year, months, weeks or just days. Love transcends time; it's all in how you use the time and what you fill it with.

- Enrichment Ideas for Guinea Pigs
- Single Guinea Pigs - Challenges and Responsibilities
- A Practical and Sensitive Guide to Dying, Terminal Illness and Euthanasia in Guinea Pigs (There are tips for how to make the best of the time you have left with a piggy on a progressive long term illness that cannot be cured. By doing so you can not just make Nasty as happy as possible in many different little ways but you can also make the whole process easier on you; especially for the time afterwards).

HUGS

 

[fluffysal]

Welcome to the forum, I'm sorry it's in such sad circumstances.
I have no advice for you but my boys send healing rumbles to Nasty

 

[piggieminder]

Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to hear about Nasty.

 

[No-tb]

Hi and welcome

I am very sorry for your loss and for Nasty's ongoing health problems. It sounds rather like he could be suffering from the effects of a calcified bulla (encapsulated middle ear infection) as the result of an un- or under-treated ear infection contracted at the commercial supply breeder's or at the pet store. There are currently quite a number of cases in the USA whereas the problem is very rare elsewhere in the world.
It is not uncommon that there are signs of calcification in the middle ear capsule in older guinea pigs. But Nasty is not old; he is in the prime of his life at 3 years of age. Unfortunately there is no cure because an encapsulated (i.e. walled-in) infection cannot be medically reached.
You can find detailed information on CBS (calcified bulla syndrome) and all its various symptoms and potential secondary complications in our information guide here: CBS (Calcified Bulla Syndrome) and Neurological Problems - Symptoms and Care

Please step in with top up feeding support in order to stabilise and recover the weight loss sustained during the flare up.Switch from weighing once weekly on your normal kitchen scales to weighing daily first thing in the morning for best day to day comparison because the daily weight swing is at its lowest and you can also plan out the feeding support for the coming day.
It takes about one day on average (2 with a sluggish gut) for food to ome out at the other end, which means that the poos only can tell you what has happened but never what is going on now and you will always be at least one day running behind in terms of stopping any further weight loss.
Please also keep in mind that over three quarters of what a guinea pig eats in a day is hay, which you quite simply cannot control by eye. You can also never judge whether your aren't seeing your piggy chew on some cud in the mouth or on all new food. The lack of food intake results in small and less poos once they come finally out. Veg/fresh forage, pellets/dry forage and any treats all together only repalce the supplementary role of the wild forage in the grass/hay diet that guinea pigs have evolved on.
- All About Syringe Feeding and Medicating Guinea Pigs with Videos and Pictures
- How to Improvise Feeding Support in an Emergency
- How To Pick Up And Weigh Your Guinea Pigs Safely (videos)
- Wiebke's Guide to Poops

As I know from my own experience, ear infections are very painful and can make chewing difficult so hay/tough grass fibre with their very abrasive silica (against which the constantly growing crucial grinding back teeth at the back have developed) is the first - but sadly main - food group to be impacted. Your weight monitoring and your appropriate feeding support whenever necessary are going to be crucial for managing any further flares.

I am sorry that I do not have better news. You are clearly a very caring owner and what is happening is most definitely not your fault or down to you doing something wrong. You haven't. CBS is not something most vets have come across, not even in the USA, so you cannot blame them for it, either.
All you can do is give Nasty love, enrichment and as many happy todays with a decent quality of life as he has left. Focus on making every day special so you can share the fun and create lots of precious, good memories - whether that is another year, months, weeks or just days. Love transcends time; it's all in how you use the time and what you fill it with.

- Enrichment Ideas for Guinea Pigs
- Single Guinea Pigs - Challenges and Responsibilities
- A Practical and Sensitive Guide to Dying, Terminal Illness and Euthanasia in Guinea Pigs (There are tips for how to make the best of the time you have left with a piggy on a progressive long term illness that cannot be cured. By doing so you can not just make Nasty as happy as possible in many different little ways but you can also make the whole process easier on you; especially for the time afterwards).

HUGS

Thank you so much for all this information. He has not lost more weight, he is slowly gaining weight back. I see him eating a little bit of hay and pellets after I give him critical care.

He stopped falling over and the head tilt is better again. I can touch his little ear without him shaking me off. I see him going to drink his water as well. I will keep giving him critical care.

I am going to ask the vet to take x rays tomorrow during our appointment . I am very devastated, but I will give him the happiest life I can. He is so young and bounces back every time.

I love him so much and he brings so much joy to me. He is eating his favorite veggies (parsley) as I type. He just finished his meds.

I also love his vet. They do all they can for him and I am grateful. I would not want anyone else to care for him. They do their best and I will too. I hope Nasty has a long time left with me.

My heart is hurting because I know symptoms will return, but I feel so happy when he is up and feeling better.

I attached a picture of him eating parsley today. The other is when he could not stand and needed to be warmed.

Thank you for the kind words. I do not know what to feel anymore.

 

[Wiebke]

Thank you so much for all this information. He has not lost more weight, he is slowly gaining weight back. I see him eating a little bit of hay and pellets after I give him critical care.

He stopped falling over and the head tilt is better again. I can touch his little ear without him shaking me off. I see him going to drink his water as well. I will keep giving him critical care.

I am going to ask the vet to take x rays tomorrow during our appointment . I am very devastated, but I will give him the happiest life I can. He is so young and bounces back every time.

I love him so much and he brings so much joy to me. He is eating his favorite veggies (parsley) as I type. He just finished his meds.

I also love his vet. They do all they can for him and I am grateful. I would not want anyone else to care for him. They do their best and I will too. I hope Nasty has a long time left with me.

My heart is hurting because I know symptoms will return, but I feel so happy when he is up and feeling better.

I attached a picture of him eating parsley today. The other is when he could not stand and needed to be warmed.

Thank you for the kind words. I do not know what to feel anymore.

HUGS

I am ever so sorry for giving you some very bad news as the only avenue that connects his persistent symptoms. It has come as a massive, horrible shock to have one's worst fears about a beloved one confirmed.

You also have to be aware that the storm also means that your grieving process has started. It doesn't begin with a loss; it begins with the reality of a loss and usually comes with feeling overwhelmed by lots of very different and often conflicting emotions.
If it is any consolation to you, it is the second worst time in the grieving process apart from the actual loss. But by acknowledging it, you can both make the most of any shared time left and do a lot of our processing homework underneath so you don't have that to do afterwards. The actual pain of the loss (the 'sad' bit) is never less, since that depends on nature of your bond - and each of them is unique. You do not grieve any less overall but the shock and the loss are separated by time and you have much more control over the 'bad' (the shock bit) if you spend the remaining time constructively. Whereas with a sudden death you have the sad and the bad on your plate together as a big, often horribly mixed up lump.

I always turn the life clock of one of my piggies back to zero and see every day they are still here to greet me as the blessing that it is and make sure that there is some small kind of enrichment activity we can both enjoy together. If you wish to, you can take a picture of it each time and start a little photo diary. It doesn't mean buying lots of stuff; enrichment is so much more than toys. It is about consciously shared love and quality of life. You can pack a lifetime's worth of love into a very short space of time so the two of you get out of it what would normally be spread out over a normal life span with a more casual approach. That way, you won't feel guilty about lost time because you do not waste any.
Enrichment Ideas for Guinea Pigs

Be kind with yourself and give yourself time to not be OK while you digest the blow over the coming days. You will still need your vet's confirmation anyway. CBS is not an instant killer so you have time left. Just make sure that you put Nasty's welfare before your own fears of loss when the times comes to let go. You are going to create a much closer bond with him, so it can be harder for you to let go when the chips are down.

We are here for you for practical care advice and moral support; we provide both and we also have a friendly community on here in the Chat sections. You can bookmark this thread so you can pick it up again and keep all information together; it means that you do not have to explain it all again. Unlike social media we can let an ongoing support thread run for as long as needed and we can put the poster and the piggy first for a sustained and consistent approach. You won't have to go through this all alone.

 

[No-tb]

Welcome to the forum, I'm sorry it's in such sad circumstances.
I have no advice for you but my boys send healing rumbles to Nasty

Thank you very much

 

[No-tb]

I have a sad update. He got better and then declined 3 days off antibiotics.

The vet said he has inner ear disease. I can’t think of the proper term.

He started declining once again and I could not get him to feel better. I gave him critical care and all his meds, but he kept getting worse. He would cry and grind his teeth. He rejected his favorite veggies.

I laid with him before the vet appointment to tell him I loved him and thanked him for everything. We went to the vet and decided to weuthanize tomorrow. He is declining through out the night so I will call first thing tomorrow to schedule the appointment earlier.

He was going to be 4 next month. I am so guilty and sad, but he cuddled me today and looked at me like he never has before. I felt like he was telling me it was time. I tried the surgery and different antibiotics. I tried and nothing worked and I feel so guilty. What could I have done better? I keep thinking I failed him and I am giving up on him. The vets told me we have exhausted all our options, but I feel like I should have done more.

I don’t know what the right thing to do is. What if he can get better and I am giving up on him too early?

He’s my little baby. He will always be my little baby. I don’t know what to do without him. What am I supposed to do now? Did I do everything I could?

Holding him makes him cry and hide away more so I have been gently stroking his head. He choked on his veggie and I am afraid of force feeding when it will stress him out and make his symptoms worse.

I feel like the worst owner ever. He’s so young. His fourth birthday is the first of August and I couldn’t keep him healthy. I know he has chronic illness, but what if it was my fault?

I want to do what’s best for him and I think he is ready to go. The appointment is tomorrow and I cannot keep him here just because I love him.

I love him the most. He has been through so much. I have spent over 10,000 on his medical bills. I put him through a surgery that didn’t work. I feel so selfish. I want him to stay. A part of me wishes he will perk up tomorrow and I can cancel the appointment.

But I know the flare ups will keep coming back over and over again.

He is the most precious thing to me. I love him so much. I wish I could keep him forever. I wish everyone knew him and how much of a fighter he was. He pulled through so much. We had many close calls, but it feels like we are at the end. I need to say goodbye.

He was the best thing that ever happened to me. He gave me a purpose and a home. I will never forget him. My baby Nasty.

I don’t know if I will ever own another animal. Nasty and Spicy were my first official pets. They were mine and now they will have each other until we all are together again.

I hope he lasts through the night. He is not feeling good. He cannot get up anymore. He drags himself around.

I hope I did everything I could for him. He gave me everything and more. I am so grateful and honored we got paired together. I hope we see each other soon.

Thank you and sorry for the rant. I don’t know what else to say. He was my little baby. I am heartbroken.

 

[Wiebke]

I have a sad update. He got better and then declined 3 days off antibiotics.

The vet said he has inner ear disease. I can’t think of the proper term.

He started declining once again and I could not get him to feel better. I gave him critical care and all his meds, but he kept getting worse. He would cry and grind his teeth. He rejected his favorite veggies.

I laid with him before the vet appointment to tell him I loved him and thanked him for everything. We went to the vet and decided to weuthanize tomorrow. He is declining through out the night so I will call first thing tomorrow to schedule the appointment earlier.

He was going to be 4 next month. I am so guilty and sad, but he cuddled me today and looked at me like he never has before. I felt like he was telling me it was time. I tried the surgery and different antibiotics. I tried and nothing worked and I feel so guilty. What could I have done better? I keep thinking I failed him and I am giving up on him. The vets told me we have exhausted all our options, but I feel like I should have done more.

I don’t know what the right thing to do is. What if he can get better and I am giving up on him too early?

He’s my little baby. He will always be my little baby. I don’t know what to do without him. What am I supposed to do now? Did I do everything I could?

Holding him makes him cry and hide away more so I have been gently stroking his head. He choked on his veggie and I am afraid of force feeding when it will stress him out and make his symptoms worse.

I feel like the worst owner ever. He’s so young. His fourth birthday is the first of August and I couldn’t keep him healthy. I know he has chronic illness, but what if it was my fault?

I want to do what’s best for him and I think he is ready to go. The appointment is tomorrow and I cannot keep him here just because I love him.

I love him the most. He has been through so much. I have spent over 10,000 on his medical bills. I put him through a surgery that didn’t work. I feel so selfish. I want him to stay. A part of me wishes he will perk up tomorrow and I can cancel the appointment.

But I know the flare ups will keep coming back over and over again.

He is the most precious thing to me. I love him so much. I wish I could keep him forever. I wish everyone knew him and how much of a fighter he was. He pulled through so much. We had many close calls, but it feels like we are at the end. I need to say goodbye.

He was the best thing that ever happened to me. He gave me a purpose and a home. I will never forget him. My baby Nasty.

I don’t know if I will ever own another animal. Nasty and Spicy were my first official pets. They were mine and now they will have each other until we all are together again.

I hope he lasts through the night. He is not feeling good. He cannot get up anymore. He drags himself around.

I hope I did everything I could for him. He gave me everything and more. I am so grateful and honored we got paired together. I hope we see each other soon.

Thank you and sorry for the rant. I don’t know what else to say. He was my little baby. I am heartbroken.

BIG HUGS

Hi

I am ever so sorry that you are finding yourself in this situation and that is happening so quickly before you can accustom and catch your breath. Please allow your boy to leave for the Rainbow Bridge.

You have done exactly what you should do as an owner and you have not failed him in any way. The medical approach has not worked. It is not in your control.
There is sadly no alternative but to keep him alive in major distress and discomfort to die a slow, gradual death as the secondary complications set in and multiply throughout the body (including loss of balance, loss of body control, problems with chewing/eating, swallowing, overgrowing teeth etc.) just for the sake of your own fears and needs.

Be strong for him as the biggest and loving gift you can ever make him. It is also by far the most heart-breaking. But would we not rather bear the pain for somebody we love deeply instead of seeing them suffering? You boy is unfortunately no longer able to live a normal life and he is clearly dying. Please try to spare him any unnecessary distress and pain instead - for his sake.

You have not caused his illness. It is likely that he could be suffering from incurable CBS syndrome like so many store-bought US and Canadian piggies. Otherwise it would be down to a genetic disposition. Your good care has got him this far and that is a major credit to you, especially under the circumstances.
CBS (Calcified Bulla Syndrome) and Neurological Problems - Symptoms and Care

Guinea pigs do not have a concept for an average life span; that is an arbitrary and entirely human construct. They measure their lives in happy todays and good care. Life is never about a set quantity; it is all about quality. A day spent in love outweighs a lifetime of just existing without care and kindness. As owners we can always only ever get out piggies as far as our good normal care and any vet support can get us. What we have no control over is when and in form the end comes. It is unfortunately rarely in a nice form.

Pets are always a loan from above that can be cancelled at any time without warning; however short or long we have them, we are never ready to let go; trust me, it doesn't get any easier with old age. But the letting go is an important part of our love and our responsibility as an owner.
You cannot change what is happening just by willing it away. Not least because you are setting yourself up for an even worse reaction and an even worse guilt trip after his loss. Please don't go there for your own sake and make that last step so you can be sad but you do need to have to feel bad about your boy and yourself because you have not fallen at the last, highest and most difficult to jump hurdle.

You may not be able to be strong for yourself but you can always be strong for others. If you cannot face taking him to the vets yourself (and there is no shame in that), do you have a friend or family who could do it for you?
HUGS

You have given him nearly four years of happiness and love - that is a lot. It is more than their natural average species life time. He couldn't have wished for more. You have not failed him in any way. Please do not fail him at the bitter end by putting your own fears before his own needs. Neither he nor you deserve that.

Please take the time to read this guide link here. It is very practical but written in a very sensitive way. It takes you step-by-step through the natural dying process as well as when to rather euthanise and tells you what you can do to support your beloved ones to your best at every stage. It also tells you when it is time to spare them any unnecessary suffering if and whenever they get to that point and how to best go about it if you suffer from anxiety or other mental health issues.
A Practical and Sensitive Guide to Dying, Terminal Illness and Euthanasia in Guinea Pigs

Pet Owners Anxiety - Practical Tips For Sufferers and For Supporters

Please seek support for yourself from a charity to help you cope with the fall out during your grieving process, which is currently already underway.
It starts with the huge emotional shock (and not rarely denial) whenever you realise that the loss is inevitable and impending. This causes the kind of overwhelming emotional turmoil you are currently experiencing. The shock can be separated in time by the actual loss or it can coincide with the pain of the actual loss when you your piggy is already dying or has died suddenly without warning.
We all have strong feelings of failure or guilt at the onset because as humans we are wired to reflect everything back onto ourselves. But they are not because you have failed but an expression of how deeply you love. We wouldn't experience them if we didn't care in the first place. There is nothing wrong with you as an owner; you have so far done all the right things.

There is help out there when you google for support in your state; it is patchier in the USA but there is generally some help out there that you can contact.
Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

My thoughts are with you and our poorly boy.

 

[No-tb]

BIG HUGS

Hi

I am ever so sorry that you are finding yourself in this situation and that is happening so quickly before you can accustom and catch your breath. Please allow your boy to leave for the Rainbow Bridge.

You have done exactly what you should do as an owner and you have not failed him in any way. The medical approach has not worked. It is not in your control.
There is sadly no alternative but to keep him alive in major distress and discomfort to die a slow, gradual death as the secondary complications set in and multiply throughout the body (including loss of balance, loss of body control, problems with chewing/eating, swallowing, overgrowing teeth etc.) just for the sake of your own fears and needs.

Be strong for him as the biggest and loving gift you can ever make him. It is also by far the most heart-breaking. But would we not rather bear the pain for somebody we love deeply instead of seeing them suffering? You boy is unfortunately no longer able to live a normal life and he is clearly dying. Please try to spare him any unnecessary distress and pain instead - for his sake.

You have not caused his illness. It is likely that he could be suffering from incurable CBS syndrome like so many store-bought US and Canadian piggies. Otherwise it would be down to a genetic disposition. Your good care has got him this far and that is a major credit to you, especially under the circumstances.
CBS (Calcified Bulla Syndrome) and Neurological Problems - Symptoms and Care

Guinea pigs do not have a concept for an average life span; that is an arbitrary and entirely human construct. They measure their lives in happy todays and good care. Life is never about a set quantity; it is all about quality. A day spent in love outweighs a lifetime of just existing without care and kindness. As owners we can always only ever get out piggies as far as our good normal care and any vet support can get us. What we have no control over is when and in form the end comes. It is unfortunately rarely in a nice form.

Pets are always a loan from above that can be cancelled at any time without warning; however short or long we have them, we are never ready to let go; trust me, it doesn't get any easier with old age. But the letting go is an important part of our love and our responsibility as an owner.
You cannot change what is happening just by willing it away. Not least because you are setting yourself up for an even worse reaction and an even worse guilt trip after his loss. Please don't go there for your own sake and make that last step so you can be sad but you do need to have to feel bad about your boy and yourself because you have not fallen at the last, highest and most difficult to jump hurdle.

You may not be able to be strong for yourself but you can always be strong for others. If you cannot face taking him to the vets yourself (and there is no shame in that), do you have a friend or family who could do it for you?
HUGS

You have given him nearly four years of happiness and love - that is a lot. It is more than their natural average species life time. He couldn't have wished for more. You have not failed him in any way. Please do not fail him at the bitter end by putting your own fears before his own needs. Neither he nor you deserve that.

Please take the time to read this guide link here. It is very practical but written in a very sensitive way. It takes you step-by-step through the natural dying process as well as when to rather euthanise and tells you what you can do to support your beloved ones to your best at every stage. It also tells you when it is time to spare them any unnecessary suffering if and whenever they get to that point and how to best go about it if you suffer from anxiety or other mental health issues.
A Practical and Sensitive Guide to Dying, Terminal Illness and Euthanasia in Guinea Pigs

Pet Owners Anxiety - Practical Tips For Sufferers and For Supporters

Please seek support for yourself from a charity to help you cope with the fall out during your grieving process, which is currently already underway.
It starts with the huge emotional shock (and not rarely denial) whenever you realise that the loss is inevitable and impending. This causes the kind of overwhelming emotional turmoil you are currently experiencing. The shock can be separated in time by the actual loss or it can coincide with the pain of the actual loss when you your piggy is already dying or has died suddenly without warning.
We all have strong feelings of failure or guilt at the onset because as humans we are wired to reflect everything back onto ourselves. But they are not because you have failed but an expression of how deeply you love. We wouldn't experience them if we didn't care in the first place. There is nothing wrong with you as an owner; you have so far done all the right things.

There is help out there when you google for support in your state; it is patchier in the USA but there is generally some help out there that you can contact.
Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

My thoughts are with you and our poorly boy.

I’m so scared and guilty. He started declining in the night and I took him to an emergency vet instead of my regular vet. The emergency is open 24/7 and my regular vet opens at 9.

I asked them if they thought he would make it to the morning but they were not sure. So I had him put down. They gave him a shot of anesthesia in his butt and he cried and tried to slide away.

We waited until he was sedated and then they injected his heart because his veins were too little. He kept flinching and kicking so the vet gave him some of the medicine orally. It took about 20 minutes while we waited for him to sleep.

Was he in pain? He was moving and kicking and it was so scary and I feel like the worst. What if he was scared and in pain and I watched and pet him? Is this normal for euthanasia? I wanted to be with him through it all, but did I make him suffer?

I feel so horrible, scared, and anxious. I have not been able to sleep. I am calling my regular vet at 9 to cancel the appointment and to let them know I went to the VCA.

Did I do right by Nasty? He was sick and I did not want him to go like that. I wanted to give him a peaceful passing. Please, was this the right choice? Was the squirming just instinct and he did not feel it?

Am I horrible for doing this to him?

 

[Wiebke]

I’m so scared and guilty. He started declining in the night and I took him to an emergency vet instead of my regular vet. The emergency is open 24/7 and my regular vet opens at 9.

I asked them if they thought he would make it to the morning but they were not sure. So I had him put down. They gave him a shot of anesthesia in his butt and he cried and tried to slide away.

We waited until he was sedated and then they injected his heart because his veins were too little. He kept flinching and kicking so the vet gave him some of the medicine orally. It took about 20 minutes while we waited for him to sleep.

Was he in pain? He was moving and kicking and it was so scary and I feel like the worst. What if he was scared and in pain and I watched and pet him? Is this normal for euthanasia? I wanted to be with him through it all, but did I make him suffer?

I feel so horrible, scared, and anxious. I have not been able to sleep. I am calling my regular vet at 9 to cancel the appointment and to let them know I went to the VCA.

Did I do right by Nasty? He was sick and I did not want him to go like that. I wanted to give him a peaceful passing. Please, was this the right choice? Was the squirming just instinct and he did not feel it?

Am I horrible for doing this to him?

BIG HUGS

You have done absolutely right by Nasty.

But it can be a rather traumatic experience watching the lethal injection because it doesn't always run quite smoothly.

The kicking is totally reflexive as the oxygen supply to the limbs breaks down. We call it 'Running to the Rainbow Bridge' as you often will experience the same in the latter stages of the natural dying process. Nasty was not conscious by that stage. But it can be very disconcerting to watch when you don't have the background or previous experience with the phenomenon. I hope that the image I have provided will help you. Try to latch your mind onto that. Nasty was already firmly on his journey and well into by then; he was already climbing up the steep bit of the Bridge.

I hope that this helps you? You are not the only one to find it distressing. You are well in within your rights if you end up in similar situation to ask the vets to take your leave from your pet first and then to put him to sleep in the pre-op room behind the scenes where the gas box for the small animal GA is and only bring out the body or ask somebody else to please take him. Your heart and your loving thoughts will still be with them and they will feel that on a very deep level as the gradually drift away. The nurses/vets will be as caring with your pet irrespective whether you are there or not.

Please be kind with yourself but try not to feel bad or guilty because there is no reason for it. You have given Nasty the best and longest life you could and you have put his needs before your own fears when the chips were down. That was the greatest gift you could make him. The rest has been out of your own control.

Give yourself time to process use the picture of Nasty climbing the steep bit of the Rainbow if you have post-traumatic flashbacks. Make sure that you get plenty of rest tonight and tomorrow. You have had a very rough and distressing few days. Also give yourself time as you go through the grieving process.

This link will hopefully help you about what to expect since grieving is very different to the socially accepted, highly sanitized version of crying bucket. It is more like a rollercoaster of lots of very different strong emotions, high and low and with getting mugged in the alleys of fairground whenever you expect it least. You already have dicovered the guilt loop. But there are others loops and tunnels ahead. It is very individual so you may experience some but not necessarily all of them.
Seek help if your sleep problems continue, if you get stuck in a loop or continue to have PTSD symptoms.
Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

There is now little furry guardian angel trying to come to grips with using his wings so he can look out for you as ou have been looking out for him duiring his life...

 

[No-tb]

I am so sad. I picked up Nasty’s ashes today. When filling out the form I put my initials for getting his ashes, fur clippings, and paw prints. I picked him up, but there was only his ashes. I asked the receptionist what happened to his fur and paw print, but they told me there was a mistake and the person thought I did not want them because my initials are NO. I am so sad and I don’t know what to do. This feels like it’s all my fault. The receptionist said it was not my fault and the person looking at the form should have seen that my initials were NO instead of not doing paw prints or fur clippings. I feel like I am being punished for taking him in an early to be out to sleep. Or if I should have checked it again and asked the receptionist. I am so sad. The receptionist is going to send me a complaint form, but I don’t know what to do. I can’t believe this. It feels like everything is my fault. I didn’t do the right thing and now I do not get to have his fur or paw prints. I do not know how to move on from this.

 

[piggieminder]

I'm so sorry what a horrible thing to have happened. It was not your fault at all. I can see how it happened it was a genuine mistake and the person who made it must feel bad too. None of this was your fault, when we are grieving it does feel like everything is down to us but it's not. You did your absolute best for Nasty with only his comfort in mind. You saved him so much suffering, a decision made out of love. I hope you feel better soon. Do read Wiebke's link in her post above (green lettering) I hope it will help you as it has me in the past.