Advice please - Urgent! Overhwelmed by grief after multiple losses.

[kelise02]

Hi, I am feeling so lost writing this right now my baby bella has passed away and I feel so so lost and I just need some advice. I’ve lost three guinea pigs in the space of 4 months ; the first guinea pig I lost was cinnamon and the cause was unknown, My family and i concluded that she was very very stressed out and so may have had a heart attack, the second guinea i’ve lost is caramel and the cause was unknown as well. After, losing two guineas I did not want to get another one as I felt like it was my fault and I was failing as a owner but I knew I couldn’t keep royal alone (the first guinea pig i got) and my family told me I must be doing something right if royal is completely healthy. On april the 5th, I found bella of a preloaded advert and the person who sold her to me was very dodgy and at first I was thinking how I could be so stupid buying a guinea pig of a dodgy owner but now I’m happy I did as i did believe bella was getting mistreated and the vet believed so as well. Bella was very ill but I thought i could save her you know? Well she’s passed today and after losing 3 guineas pigs i just feel like i’ve failed as a owner although royal is completely fine and healthy. I feel like i should give royal away because I’m not good enough. I’m so conflicted on what to do as I don’t want to keep royal by herself (that would be too rude and selfish of me) but i don’t think getting another guinea pig is in my best interest as I am clearly not capable you know? but my friend is telling me i’ve spent so much money already on fleece and a brand new c and c cage so it doesn’t make sense to give royal away, i should just wait a few weeks to see how royal is doing then get her a friend but i just don’t think i should i’m not sure what to do

 

[kelise02]

also my friend suggested it might be an environmental factor but royal is perfectly fine and healthy which i don’t understand

 

[Eriathwen]

I've lost 3 piggies since December, I've currently got another with a degenerative bone issue, one with chronic bladder issues, one with allergies and dodgy airways... but I know I'm not to blame, it is sadly just one of those things. It has taken me a long time to forgive myself and get out of the stage of grief where I blame myself, but now that I'm there I can see it's true.
This feeling is totally normal with grief, it's true that if it were something you were doing then Royal would have also passed away. Do you have any rescues near you? There's a rescue locator on the forum somewhere.. I can't seem to link to it though. But getting your piggies from a rescue sets you in a better position to get healthy piggies. Sometimes rather than pay vets bills people just sell their pigs and pass the problem on and by the time the new owner sees symptoms, all the good will, experience and love in the world can't save them which sounds like may have happened to you.
You're obviously a very caring owner, your piggies are lucky to have you.

 

[kelise02]

I've lost 3 piggies since December, I've currently got another with a degenerative bone issue, one with chronic bladder issues, one with allergies and dodgy airways... but I know I'm not to blame, it is sadly just one of those things. It has taken me a long time to forgive myself and get out of the stage of grief where I blame myself, but now that I'm there I can see it's true.
This feeling is totally normal with grief, it's true that if it were something you were doing then Royal would have also passed away. Do you have any rescues near you? There's a rescue locator on the forum somewhere.. I can't seem to link to it though. But getting your piggies from a rescue sets you in a better position to get healthy piggies. Sometimes rather than pay vets bills people just sell their pigs and pass the problem on and by the time the new owner sees symptoms, all the good will, experience and love in the world can't save them which sounds like may have happened to you.
You're obviously a very caring owner, your piggies are lucky to have you.

hearing this literally made me cry, i just felt like I’m such a worthless owner and I feel so bad, I just feel like it’s my fault.

 

[Julesie]

I can understand how you feel. If you glance in my signature I lost 3 guinea pigs in a week (2017), all of completely unrelated issues. It broke my heart. I wasn't even home when one passed away nor was he showing any problems the day I left.

Please trust me that it is not you as an owner doing anything bad. Sadly guinea pigs have been overbred so much that they have suffered for it. Their lifespans have reduced a lot compared to what they used to live for and I find they get a lot more illnesses than they used to.

You sound like a very loving piggie owner to me and I'd suggest getting yourself a nice young piggie to go with Royal - they're rarer in rescues but you can still get them at a few months old easily enough

I've only recently got myself another boar after losing my Mumen. I just couldn't bring myself to get another after losing so many boys. Let yourself have the time to grieve too x

 

[Eriathwen]

hearing this literally made me cry, i just felt like I’m such a worthless owner and I feel so bad, I just feel like it’s my fault.

Aw honestly, please don't feel that way. Even my vet has commented on how some people can shove them at the bottom of the garden and forget about them for them to live illness free for years, while some people dedicate their lives to them pretty much but run into issue after issue.
The time you had them they knew love and a good home, that's what matters to them most, they don't understand time, that's our burden to bear unfortunately.

 

[tabelmabel]

I'm so sorry you have experienced this but I don't think you need to reproach yourself at all. It sounds as if these pigs might well have had health problems before you got them. Remember that many pigs from pet stores or from sites online will not have been well bred or had a healthy start in life.

If you feel ready again at some point in future, try to get along to one of the recommended rescues listed on this site.

Piggies are so good at hiding illness. It's very easy to miss signs of illness unless you are extremely experienced.
Take your time to grieve your losses and, when you're ready, take time and advice to choose a healthy pair of pigs next time. Avoid pet stores and some of the dubious online ads and you should hopefully manage to find some healthy piggies.

 

[kelise02]

I can understand how you feel. If you glance in my signature I lost 3 guinea pigs in a week (2017), all of completely unrelated issues. It broke my heart. I wasn't even home when one passed away nor was he showing any problems the day I left.

Please trust me that it is not you as an owner doing anything bad. Sadly guinea pigs have been overbred so much that they have suffered for it. Their lifespans have reduced a lot compared to what they used to live for and I find they get a lot more illnesses than they used to.

You sound like a very loving piggie owner to me and I'd suggest getting yourself a nice young piggie to go with Royal - they're rarer in rescues but you can still get them at a few months old easily enough

I've only recently got myself another boar after losing my Mumen. I just couldn't bring myself to get another after losing so many boys. Let yourself have the time to grieve too x

Yeah I think i’ll get royal a friend from a shelter, she’s doing okay at the moment and that all the matters to me

 

[kelise02]

I'm so sorry you have experienced this but I don't think you need to reproach yourself at all. It sounds as if these pigs might well have had health problems before you got them. Remember that many pigs from pet stores or from sites online will not have been well bred or had a healthy start in life.

If you feel ready again at some point in future, try to get along to one of the recommended rescues listed on this site.

Piggies are so good at hiding illness. It's very easy to miss signs of illness unless you are extremely experienced.
Take your time to grieve your losses and, when you're ready, take time and advice to choose a healthy pair of pigs next time. Avoid pet stores and some of the dubious online ads and you should hopefully manage to find some healthy piggies.

thank you so much for your advice, definitely in the future i’ll avoid pet stores and online ads

 

[piggieminder]

Sending you my very best wishes. I endorse everything the others have said. It's not your fault, but blaming yourself is a natural part of grieving.

 

[Wiebke]

HUGS!

Multiple losses are hard to bear because they usually make you question yourself and the care you are giving.
As long as the deaths are not caused by the same symptoms, there is no environmental factor. Coincidences can happen. Most deaths don't happen nicely spaced apart. if you have several piggies, they do tend to come in batches.

I have lost two of mine in January only a week apart and have just had to pts/euthanise my Nosgan on Wednesday.
Now I am dealing with a frail oldie that is inching very close to the line of no return; after a bad day yesterday I am keeping my fingers VERY firmly crossed that it won't happen over the bank holiday. When Heulwen goes, there is a good chance that her equally frail sister Hedydd and childhood playmate Tegan could follow her...
In the last two years, I have lost 6 piggies in every year; each time having deaths within days of each other. Last summer I lost 3 of mine within a space of two weeks. That was not easy to cope with, even for a long term owner like me. You get very down, question yourself and develop what I call 'grieving indigestion' - having to cope with more losses than you can process at any given time.

Take good care of yourself. You are not a bad owner. Concentrate to look after your remaining piggies well, and give their habitat and belongings a good old deep clean with a vet grade disinfectant like F10 and any fabric a hot wash at at least 60 C/ 140F; if only for your own peace of mind.

 

[Flutterby]