An Open Letter to All Piggy Slaves

Betsy

Betsy

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Dear Piggy Slaves

It has come to my attention that when I am on holiday, Slaves are taking liberties. I know this as I have my spies. There is a special piggy wheekaphone that lets me know what is going on in my absence.

For example, Latte @Princess Dustmop had to endure her favourite squishy mat being stolen while she was put in a bucket and her lovely smelling just right home was cleaned out and when she was put back her funny smelling home, the mat wasn't replaced for hours. Then she had to suffer less pellets too. Also @VickiA's piggies have been deprived of butterhead lettuce which is totally scrummy and they have never had it!

These are just 2 of the many injustices that have been going on.

I can see that I am going to have to reread my Slave Training Manuals just to keep you all treating us piggies with the respect we deserve.

You have been warned....

Yours totally outraged
The One and only Thea
Shop Steward
 
Pound Shilling & Pig said:
We have a disturbing response from our slave. She says she is not our slave and is free to make all the decisions on our behalf as after all she is not the one in a cage!
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Poor human ... safe, warm cage with toys and soft stuff? I hope she gets rescued soon.
 
Our human has been very apologetic recently, and keeps muttering something about Asda and Tesco not having butterhead and Asda substituting out the peppers for...bigger peppers? We don't like bigger peppers very much. We like the small snack sized ones he can just lop the top off and hand to us but Asda were out of stock.

We feel for him, it's not his fault other humans stole our peppers. And our lettuce. And we've had plenty of gem lettuce (which is also delicious).

However he wasn't very well last night and didn't do our Snugglesafes which wasn't very nice of him.

-Bann and Camowen.
 
Lorcan said:
Our human has been very apologetic recently, and keeps muttering something about Asda and Tesco not having butterhead and Asda substituting out the peppers for...bigger peppers? We don't like bigger peppers very much. We like the small snack sized ones he can just lop the top off and hand to us but Asda were out of stock.

We feel for him, it's not his fault other humans stole our peppers. And our lettuce. And we've had plenty of gem lettuce (which is also delicious).

However he wasn't very well last night and didn't do our Snugglesafes which wasn't very nice of him.

-Bann and Camowen.
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Hmm Bann and Camowen I think your hoooman needs to understand that even if they are ill, skinnies must have their Snugglesafes at precisely the right temperature and hoooman must drag themself out of bed even if their legs are wobbly and their head is pounding to pamper to precious piggies 😂 At least hoooman has been apologetic though 👍
 
Lorcan said:
Our human has been very apologetic recently, and keeps muttering something about Asda and Tesco not having butterhead and Asda substituting out the peppers for...bigger peppers? We don't like bigger peppers very much. We like the small snack sized ones he can just lop the top off and hand to us but Asda were out of stock.

We feel for him, it's not his fault other humans stole our peppers. And our lettuce. And we've had plenty of gem lettuce (which is also delicious).

However he wasn't very well last night and didn't do our Snugglesafes which wasn't very nice of him.

-Bann and Camowen.
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Are you really sure he's been telling the truth? Really sure?
 
Pound Shilling & Pig said:
Are you really sure he's been telling the truth? Really sure?
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He's shown us the receipts and the "out of stock" messages online. For once, he's actually telling the truth! He says himself he prefers it when we get butterhead because butterhead is easier to shred by hand. And he prefers it when we get the smaller peppers because they make less of a mess on the chopping board and he knows half of them won't get wasted because we got bored of pepper halfway through dinner.

He did ask us why we needed to be so fussy about our hay and our veg but honestly, we don't know. He thinks it's because we find it amusing, winding him up. Shhh don't tell him but yes, yes we do.

As for last night, he didn't look great, but while he couldn't sort the Snugglesafes he did turn the heating on overnight and he did give us our pellet rations. Better than nothing, we suppose.

- Bann and Cam.
 
Welcome back from your holiday One and Only Thea.
We think it’s shocking the liberties slaves take.
We are not really complaining at the moment as our slave deserted us for weeks and weeks ( 3 days) but daddy slave always gives us more pellets than our stingy slave.
 
Dear Thea,
We hope you had a lovely holiday.
Mummy slave disappeared for ages yesterday, when she did get back, she said she had to go shopping. We were so excited to be getting fresh veggies, but were unfortunately disappointed. Apparently Mummy slave went to 3 shops, but no one had coriander, or nice peppers. Hector says he doesn't care about the peppers BUT he is very upset knowing there is no coriander in the house.
Me I am upset that I may not get pepper tonight.
Thank you for trying to help our slaves do better.
Wheeks, Hamish.
 
Princess Dustmop said:
Oh dear! I wish we could help you! If you weren't an ocean away, we'd absolutely try to send you peppers! I don't know about the corriander, though, as we don't like it, so the humans only buy it when they're making something called salsa or tacos.
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Thank you for your kind offer of help. Daddy slave found some coriander, Hector will sleep well tonight, knowing there is coriander in the fridge for tomorrow!
Wheeks.
 
Our slave has put herself on something called a d i e t to get healthier. From what we can understand this means she will be stealing our salad. We were fine when she was bringing in new yummies and we got to eat the surplus (pears and spinach for Carol plus radicchio for everyone else) but this new push to eat 30 different plant species a week could cripple our mealtimes! It's bad enough that the celery grows legs every time they have pasta but the future looks very scary........
 
Our slave tried to cut our nails yesterday! The horror! We like our nails just as they are, thank you very much. Our slave says it's her "duty" to trim them; that if she doesn't she's being "negligent". We don't believe it! 😠

Yours very indignant,
Clover and Stella
 
AidaB said:
Thank you for your kind offer of help. Daddy slave found some coriander, Hector will sleep well tonight, knowing there is coriander in the fridge for tomorrow!
Wheeks.
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Excellent! There may be hope for your humans!
Countrylass said:
Our slave has put herself on something called a d i e t to get healthier. From what we can understand this means she will be stealing our salad. We were fine when she was bringing in new yummies and we got to eat the surplus (pears and spinach for Carol plus radicchio for everyone else) but this new push to eat 30 different plant species a week could cripple our mealtimes! It's bad enough that the celery grows legs every time they have pasta but the future looks very scary........
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Yes! Humans are thieves! We piggies must really crack down on this! Keep a close eye on your mats and cozies! You never know what they might steal next. I swear my humans are eying my mini mat again. Can't they just make their own mats? I know they have more fleece because I can see it sitting on the other side of the room.
 
Our hooman is definitely a thief - she steals warmth, cuddles and to top it off, our kisses! Then she has the audacity to try and bribe us not to feel molested with yummy hay. We should have yummy hay as a basic guinea pig right and not have our stomachs taken advantage of :evil:
 
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