Hi!
I am very sorry about your problem!
There is a line between a caring and an over-anxious pet owner.
It is normal to be more jumpy after having lost a piggy and having a flashback/your fears rearing up. However, if you cannot control this, then you have crossed a certain line and may want to take measures to work around this issue until you are able to cope again.
You have to take into account that your hear much more online from over-anxious people than you hear from those at the other end, and that controlling behaviour is of course more applauded and rewarded, especially by those who grapple with their own anxiety because it gives them more justifcation to prove that they are good owners.
Weighing daily is only necessary when your guinea pig is showing symptoms of acute illness and if the food intake is impacted; normally a weekly weigh-in is sufficient.
We all frear the thought of losing a/another guinea pig, but even though we grieve no less when it happens and can be very upset especially if it happens unexpectedly, we can keep it in perspective and we know that we are good owners with reasonable, but not excessive care - simply by giving our piggies a good life as long as they have and by seeing a vet promptly whenever that is really necessary.
But there are those who panic at the sheer thought of a piggy falling ill (never mind dying), which often leads to excessive controlling and in some cases obsessive/compulsive behaviour like daily or several times daily weighing, urine testing etc.
If this results in a panic attack whenever something is even the slightest bit wrong - even when results are well within normal and actually more than healthy parameters - then you have crossed the line between being a caring owner into being an over-anxious owner.
Pet bereavement is a condition that is recognised and that can trigger mental illness problems in anybody, so there is no shame in that. Many long term owners have had a brush with it at some point over a special piggy or if they have suffered several losses in short succession.
If you belong to this second group or if you find that you have meltdowns over health checks, PLEASE stay away from scales and test strips! That is really opening a can of worms for you!
Instead of weighing and testing yourself, please ask your partner/friend/family members to weigh your piggies once weekly
out of your sight and to tell you whether the weight is within normal parameters (i.e. within the 30-50g weight band a piggy usually moves in; weight is rarely completely stable down to the last gram). Only if your guinea pig is showing other signs of illness (usually two or more symptoms, not just one) and you have real reason to worry about a diminished food intake, you and whoever does the health check for you switch to weighing daily until you see a vet and your piggy is well on the way to recovery.
Your partner is welcome to register on here for the time being, so we can intruct them on what to look out for and what the normal parameters are - or if necessaryto come on and ask if and whenever they have any doubts, so you have got a counterbalance to help you cope with your current anxiety issue but retain the safety net that you require.
Weighing and testing far more than reasonably necessary only serves to feed your anxiety problem right now (which can easily develop into obsessive/compulsive behaviours as a kind of coping mechanism by frequent checking and over-control), but it does not in any way contribute to your own or your guinea pigs' ultimate wellbeing when you stress out about them well in disproportion to what is going on.
If you find that you cannot hand over the health checks and continue to have meltdowns, please seek support for your anxiety problem before it can take control of you and seriously impact on your relationship with both your guinea pigs and your partner/family, and spoil any enjoyment of your beloved pets when you end up watching like a hawk over the tiniest sign of anything out of the ordinary instead of laughing over their antics, adventures and taking any health issues in stride without feeling the need to rush them to the out-of-hours vets at the first sneeze.
Being a good pet owner means finding the balance between outright neglect and over-control. It means keeping a casual eye on your piggies without feeling the need to control every aspect at every single moment in time and panicking when your piggy has lost a single gram in a day. You can start worrying if a piggy loses 50g or more, but you really should be able to enjoy your piggies without getting a panic attack or breaking out in tears unless they are really seriously ill.
I hope that you can work things out so you do not have a meltdown over your guinea pigs when in fact they are perfectly healthy and even your brain is telling you that. Loss of a beloved pet can unfortunately come out in different ways.
It is important to check and address any aspects that are not a "normal" reaction and seek help if necessary; it doesn't mean that you are ill, just that you may need a bit of support. Your mind can metaphorically suffer a bad sprain or a bad back, too, if it has bumped into something it has not developed a coping mechanism or has tried to lift a load that is too heavy for your soul. Finding somebody who is willing to listen and take you serious is the best help you can get for yourself. Often that is all that is needed.
The fact that you recognise that something is not quite right means that you still got sound judgement, and should hopefully get over it with a little support. There are free bereavement phone lines if that is something you would like to try.
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