Biscuit Has Asked

Katiedid

Katiedid

Adult Guinea Pig
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for someone to represent her and take mummy to court....

She may have the poop smooch (- squitty bottom, please don’t ask why we call it that) but she has stated that poop smooch is no reason to withholds the vegetables.

She has patiently explained to mummy about veg and NO VEG ARRIVED, it’s getting quite fraught now, mummy even offered her a cornflower stick, to which she stated no I wants vegetamabubles are you stupid mummy it’s V E G I M A T I B U L S (she can’t spell).

She needs someone to force veg delivery....
 
Now Biscuit Honey, your Mummy is only doing this for your own good. It isn't like you are never getting your veg ever again. It's just temporary while your tumtum settles and you haven't got a squitty bumbum any more. Listen to your Aunty Betsy now and be a good piggy and eat lots of hay and if Mummy needs to syringe feed you to help get you better make it easy for her. She loves you very much (even if she's not giving you veg at the mo).
 
She has replied that she is starving and doesn’t believe she will ever see veg again, she says this is mummy’s master plan, that mummy rations lettuce and doesn’t realise that she has a lettuce addiction to maintain, she has gone to bed to sulk and says she loves only daddy.....
 
Poop Smooch...

*chortle* :lol!:


I shouldn’t laugh because I had them over Crimbo :vom:
 
Groucho says he will pack up some of Chicco's veg and bring it to Biscuit, if he can move in and Biscuit promises not to chase him all the time. He says Chicco doesn't deserve to have his veg because he shows off, rumblestruts, and is too bossy. Little Dude says 'whatever'
 
Katiedid said:
She has replied that she is starving and doesn’t believe she will ever see veg again, she says this is mummy’s master plan, that mummy rations lettuce and doesn’t realise that she has a lettuce addiction to maintain, she has gone to bed to sulk and says she loves only daddy.....
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I've just told my lot what Biscuit's Mummy has done. They where like WHAAAAAAT? Even though I have told Velvet, Betsy, Meg, Christian and Dennis it is for Biscuit's own good and is only temporary they don't believe me. They have told me that under NO circumstances should veg EVER be restricted. They are thinking of getting in touch with the GPU (Guinea Pig Union) to report Biscuit's Mummy about lack of veg services.
 
Reenie said:
Groucho says he will pack up some of Chicco's veg and bring it to Biscuit, if he can move in and Biscuit promises not to chase him all the time. He says Chicco doesn't deserve to have his veg because he shows off, rumblestruts, and is too bossy. Little Dude says 'whatever'
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Biscuit says that’s great head over, she chases no one, she does say she lived with the dipstick and the tiny terrier both of whom rumblestrutt their way through the day.
 
Tim said:
Poop Smooch...

*chortle* :lol!:


I shouldn’t laugh because I had them over Crimbo :vom:
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It makes me laugh each time I say it - which is usually good as it makes light of a bad situation. Of course the whole house now calls it ‘da poop smooch’ (to give it its proper title) which is kind of embarrassing in polite company :lol:
 
Betsy said:
I've just told my lot what Biscuit's Mummy has done. They where like WHAAAAAAT? Even though I have told Velvet, Betsy, Meg, Christian and Dennis it is for Biscuit's own good and is only temporary they don't believe me. They have told me that under NO circumstances should veg EVER be restricted. They are thinking of getting in touch with the GPU (Guinea Pig Union) to report Biscuit's Mummy about lack of veg services.
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Biscuit looks forward to hearing from the GPU, she asks that they also relay the fact that mummy is taking her to the vets today in 70mph winds and it’s just not safe - even if they boy made it to school safely. She is applying for daddy ‘the lettuce king’ to have sole custard or something like that.
 
Velvet (NOBODY dare mess with her!) has just heard of your imminent trip to the dreaded vet man. She says to bite him if he prods you too hard! But Dennis says that's not a nice thing to do and you mustn't bite the nice vet man Biscuit cos he'll make you feel better and the quicker you feel better means the quicker you can have VEG again! Christian, Betsy and Meg side with Dennis on this occasion even though they know this is a very dangerous thing to do to go against what Velvet has said! Good luck at the vet and hope you soon feel better and are once again eating lettuce.
 
Biscuit thanks Velvet, Christian, Betsy, Meg and Dennis for their advice, she said it was all going swimmingly at the VET until he declared no pellets either....... then stuck a thermometer up her bum. At which point she went for the middle ground and bit mummy as it’s all mummy’s fault, had she not been working before Christmas and instead had waited on her piggies hand and foot we wouldn’t have had lettuce gate......

Mummy did buy some oxbow Timothy hay at the vets, it was yummy until Binky peed in it....... Jet says it’s still yummy......
 
Blitzen and Comet have heard about this no veg AND no pellets malarky and are OUTRAGED. OUTRAGED, they wheek. They're currently telling me I need to fix it because I can clearly do something about all this (sorry, Biscuit, but even I'm not THAT good).
 
Well now my lot are outraged just like Comet and Blitzen @Lorcan and @Katiedid! No wonder you bit Mummy Biscuit! Velvet said you still should have bitten the vet for declaring no pellets and then shoving a thermometer up your jacksie! The indignity of it all! Now Dennis, Christian, Meg and Betsy are all in agreement with Velvet! Velvet is emailing the GPU immediately! Christian reckons you really should ask "The Lettuce King" for his sole custard!
 
Oh dear. Groucho was all packed and ready to go, but now he's having second thoughts. Chicco is a bit of a bully, but the thought of no pellets makes him think he might not have it so bad after all. Little Dude referred him to his previous comment - 'whatever'.
 
Merab totally agrees with Biscuit’s response to having a thermometer shoved up her bum. A perfectly justified reaction.
 
Biscuit is pleased to receive everyone’s support and suggestions. She has poop smooched in the new Timothy hay and gone to bed in disgust. Indeed she has tried all 5 beds and poop smooched in each because she knows that the washing machine hasn’t been used as much as it could recently and mummy doesn’t need to wash her own clothes despite the washing basket overflowing.

Biscuit is disappointed not to be visited by Groucho but understands.

Jet still feels that peed in, poop smooched Timothy hay is worth having.
 
Jet has just asked for a private word...

He said mummy, you know the Timothy hay and the smooch poop? Well erm we have a bit of a situation, I may need some helps, you sees I may have trodden in it, and it may have squidged between my toes and erm it may all be stuck in the hair on my toes.... how do you get that off? No baths though eh?
 
Katiedid said:
Jet has just asked for a private word...

He said mummy, you know the Timothy hay and the smooch poop? Well erm we have a bit of a situation, I may need some helps, you sees I may have trodden in it, and it may have squidged between my toes and erm it may all be stuck in the hair on my toes.... how do you get that off? No baths though eh?
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OOOOPS!
 
Jet, Blitzen says to just groom it out yourself. Comet says that's gross and he's never sharing a hidey with Blitzen again.
 
Blitzen says if you want to have a job done properly you can't trust a mere human to do it. He says the vet never does it right, so how could Lorcán?
 
Katiedid said:
Biscuit is pleased to receive everyone’s support and suggestions. She has poop smooched in the new Timothy hay and gone to bed in disgust. Indeed she has tried all 5 beds and poop smooched in each because she knows that the washing machine hasn’t been used as much as it could recently and mummy doesn’t need to wash her own clothes despite the washing basket overflowing.

Biscuit is disappointed not to be visited by Groucho but understands.

Jet still feels that peed in, poop smooched Timothy hay is worth having.
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Oh dear, not poop smooched in the hay....in retaliation perhaps?
 
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