Joeykins
Junior Guinea Pig
For the attention of all other guinea pigs who find themselves being treated so appallingly by their slaves!
I'm starting to think that my slave is most definitely NOT up to scratch, as far as slaves go, infact her behaviour has been, of late, downright scandalous! Case in point:
1) This morning I was rudely awakened when she came clomping into the room and woke me up. Not only did she ignore the Do Not Disturb sign which I need to get around to actually making, but she removed by breakfast bowl and definitely took her time in refilling it! I don't know what magical procedure she uses to refil it, but it's about time she worked out how to do it IN SITU - I can't put into words how tiresome it is to sit her screeching at her while she takes her own sweet time in getting this simple task accomplished......
2) I had spent HOURS arranging my bed, just so, and was considering returning to it for a snooze when she had the audacity to refer to it as my 'toilet' and REMOVED it! Returning later with my bed, with rumpled bedding which smelt nothing of urine and not a poop in sight to rest my head on.
3) Every day she steals my entire poop collection - does she not realise how much effort I put into them? And what does she need them for? It's not like she eats them.
4) I hear the rustle of the treat box, a duly present myself only to find that I'm only given ONE of the treats, the other was given to my sister! WHY? What use to me is it when she's eaten it?
5) Her skills as a manicurist...... Words fail me
6) She has done nothing to deflect the attentions of the yobbish man next door who spends his days calling "Oi, darling!" Through my window.
7) Does she expect me to care that Readigrass makes her wheeze? What does she expect me to eat instead? Hay? Pellets? Veg?
8) On the subject of hay, she's taken to putting it inside a bag, rather than in my tray. So she is expecting me to unpack it myself now? What next? Clean myself out?
9) My buttocks are too large to squeeze through the tunnel that my sister likes to sleep in. If that isn't a blatant attempt to give me body image issues I don't know what is!
10) She forced me to watch Call The Midwife, twice, humans certainly make a big deal of birthing, uncivilised creatures, and only produce one piglet in most cases. I'd like to see them push out 7........ I don't have personal experience of this, but it can't be that hard.
To summarise, I would like to gather opinions on the lax behaviour of my slave, so that I may present my well-structured and catalogued case to her. After I have had my nap.
Yours indignantly, Buttercup
I'm starting to think that my slave is most definitely NOT up to scratch, as far as slaves go, infact her behaviour has been, of late, downright scandalous! Case in point:
1) This morning I was rudely awakened when she came clomping into the room and woke me up. Not only did she ignore the Do Not Disturb sign which I need to get around to actually making, but she removed by breakfast bowl and definitely took her time in refilling it! I don't know what magical procedure she uses to refil it, but it's about time she worked out how to do it IN SITU - I can't put into words how tiresome it is to sit her screeching at her while she takes her own sweet time in getting this simple task accomplished......
2) I had spent HOURS arranging my bed, just so, and was considering returning to it for a snooze when she had the audacity to refer to it as my 'toilet' and REMOVED it! Returning later with my bed, with rumpled bedding which smelt nothing of urine and not a poop in sight to rest my head on.
3) Every day she steals my entire poop collection - does she not realise how much effort I put into them? And what does she need them for? It's not like she eats them.
4) I hear the rustle of the treat box, a duly present myself only to find that I'm only given ONE of the treats, the other was given to my sister! WHY? What use to me is it when she's eaten it?
5) Her skills as a manicurist...... Words fail me
6) She has done nothing to deflect the attentions of the yobbish man next door who spends his days calling "Oi, darling!" Through my window.
7) Does she expect me to care that Readigrass makes her wheeze? What does she expect me to eat instead? Hay? Pellets? Veg?
8) On the subject of hay, she's taken to putting it inside a bag, rather than in my tray. So she is expecting me to unpack it myself now? What next? Clean myself out?
9) My buttocks are too large to squeeze through the tunnel that my sister likes to sleep in. If that isn't a blatant attempt to give me body image issues I don't know what is!
10) She forced me to watch Call The Midwife, twice, humans certainly make a big deal of birthing, uncivilised creatures, and only produce one piglet in most cases. I'd like to see them push out 7........ I don't have personal experience of this, but it can't be that hard.
To summarise, I would like to gather opinions on the lax behaviour of my slave, so that I may present my well-structured and catalogued case to her. After I have had my nap.
Yours indignantly, Buttercup
haha i loved it.
