Can I talk about Scarby please?

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Lucinda

Lucinda

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I haven't really explained what happened and you deserve to know.

Roger found a lump on Scarby's liver area.

He called me from theatre and said the cancer had spread from the liver to the bowel. Scarby's whole bowel was glued up with cancer and he had developed septacaemia.

I said "What can you do?" and he said "Nothing."
I said "Sew him up then and I'll have him back home."

Roger said Scarby would wake up in agony and die in agony within 12 hours. He said I had to let Scarby go.

Some of you know I feel very very strongly against euthanasia. This was a decision i never wanted to take.

It was my Scarby, who I love so much. I couldn't have him in pain. Not my Scarby.

Roger said he would gve him an OD of Isoflurane.

As well as the terrible pain of losing such a loving and brave friend I am eaten up with guilt that I gave consent for Roger to end his life. I trust Roger absolutely and he has said several times it was all I could have done, but I still feel like .

Forgive me Scarby x
 
You can absolutely talk about Scarby here, that's what we're for.
I understand what you are going through with ending his life and feeling bad about it. But you didn't end his life, you did do all that you could, there is no cure yet for cancer. Even for people.
I'm sure he would rather pass away in his sleep rather than in agony, and I'm sure if he could wheek a 'thank you' he would. You were a great piggy Mommy and still are, so please don't worry at all.
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, but you did the best that could be done and everybody has to go eventually. ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) If you need anything just let me know.
RIP Scarby, you're very missed :'(

Kimmie
 
Aww Lucinda your feelings of guilt are perfectly normal but you made the right decision, cancer is terrible :(
You gave your wonderful boy love until the end & it was out of love you agreed, you wouldn't have wished Scarby to leave you in agony, quite the opposite & i'm sure he's wheeking thank you :-*
{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}} to you Lucinda, thinking about you. This was given to me when my boy Edd left for the bridge :'(

IF IT SHOULD BE

If it be, i grow frail & weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep
Then you must do what must be done
For this last battle just can't be won

You will be sad, I understand
Don't let your grief, then stay your hand
For this day, more than all the rest
Your love and friendship stands the test

We've had so many happy years
What is to come will hold no fears
You'd not want me to suffer
When it's time, please let me go

Take me where my needs they'll tend
Only stay with me until the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see........

I know in time you too will see
It is a kindness that you do to me
Although my tail, it's last has waved
From pain and suffering, I've been saved

Do not grieve that it should be you
Who has to decide this thing to do
We've been so close, we two, these years
Don't let your heart hold any tears

:'( Sleep in peace dear Scarby :'(
 
Oh Lucinda i'm so very sorry, yes I do know how strongly you feel about euthanasia. What you did for Scarby was the greatest gift you could have given him in the circumstances and as the others have said he will be thanking you for not letting him die in agony but peacefully in his sleep, whilst having dreams of dandelions... So please don't feel guilty :-*
 
As the others have said Lucinda don't beat yourself up about your decision, you loved (and still do) your little chap till the end and having to make the decision to let these little furries go is one of the hardest choices we sometimes have to make. We were in a similar position with Roxy just before Xmas and at the time I kept questioning my decision, however, in my heart I know it was the right thing to do and I wouldn't have wanted her to suffer in terrible pain at the end. It sounds like you have a fantastic vet in Roger.

Big hugs and this is absolutely the right place to come and let off steam to like minded folks. xx
 
As you know i cried for you and with you..... i still am still grieving just as you are :'(
but now i know that the little man is free from pain and playing with Dr. ahhh i bet they're having fun :smitten: :smitten:
I recently found this piece and i want to dedicate it to Scarby:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there......I do not sleep
I am the thousand winds that blow.....
I am the diamond glints on snow.....
I am the sunlight on ripened grain....
I am the gentle autum rain.
When you waken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of gentle birds in circling flight........
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.....
I am not there...............I did not die.............
Forever in our hearts and always fond loving memories
We will be together again one day.

RIP Scarby wheek wheek
Love Glynis and Duke xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Ah, thank you everyone for your kind words. I'm still very weepy and emotional.
 
oh sweetheart if only you knew how many of us have had to make the same decision and that ALL of us feel so guilty, me since 92 when my beloved dog muffin had to be PTS I still cannot say the word with out flinching, he went in for an over night stay to see why he was so poorly but at 1am we got THAT call he was not going to get better and the duty vet was worried he would suffer could he inject his glucose drip with the PTS medication Mick said yes and for months i hated Mick for saying yes, plus for years even now I feel guilty I wasn't with him, it was only when Charlie died last july in similar circumstances but this time Mick was with him until the end, I could not do it which made me feel bad but now understood why I felt so bad for Muffin,
when Charlie died I was given the poem The last battle already posted by Niki, I made it into a laminated page with Charlies photo under neath and have it on many walls in my home in fact i am looking at it now :'( and yes I am filling up but the poem says it all, we also made a laminated one for the crematoriums rememberance book of which the lady who owns it was deeply moved by it, I have kept muffins and charlies ashes close by me and max will no doubt be treated the same , waiting to go with me on my final journey,
with my pigs I have also had to make this most heart aching decision and believe me it never gets easier just becasue I've done it maybe 40 times over the years for my darling pigs it still hurts like hell ,but you did make the right choice becasue you never really had a choice you loved Scarby much to much to let him suffer a second of pain, so believe me sweetheart you did him proud and if he could he would be saying thankyou mum I love you :'( :'( this is hard for me to write because its bringing up all my past losses so will stop now and dry my tears before the kids notice :'( we are so deeply in love with our animals its the hardest thing to have to do for them but we do it for love 0:) :smitten: :'(
 
Hi Lucinda

agree with what everyone says.

It is the worst decision to have to make to let a loved pet go, but it is the only responsible one you can make when faced with those circumstances.

I know you are feeling awful about having to make the decision but in time you will realise it was the kindest one, and would have felt even worse if you had watched Scarby suffer for his last day/hours.

You have done the right thing, and what you are feeling now is very normal and all part of grieving for your special little boy.

Big hugs.

Deb x
 
Glynis said:
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there......I do not sleep
I am the thousand winds that blow.....
I am the diamond glints on snow.....
I am the sunlight on ripened grain....
I am the gentle autum rain.
When you waken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of gentle birds in circling flight........
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.....
I am not there...............I did not die.............
Forever in our hearts and always fond loving memories
We will be together again one day.
Click to expand...

I heard this for the first time just over a week ago at my friends dad's funeral. At the time I thought how beautiful it was! You had text me that morning Lucinda - it was only a few days after Scarby had gone to the bridge and you were hurting so much! As it was read out I found myself thinking about both your little Scarby and my little Badger! :smitten:

Such a strange feeling seeing it again! So very true and comforting though! :smitten:
 
All those poems have got me weepy.

You did right by Scarby. Don't ever feel guilty. He didn't want to live in any pain. He loves you so much and is always with you :)

xxxxxxxxxx
 
Dear Lucinda

I was only thinking about you this morning and wondering how you are getting along.

All kinds of things surface during the grieving process, guilt being the main one in my experience

Although euthanising Scarby went against all of your principles, when it came to it, it was the only choice out of a bad selection.
If you had gone ahead with bringing Scarby home, you might now be feeling bad about not euthanising him knowing he was in pain.
It was a totally no win situation but you had to put Scarbys interest first as an animal carer. And that meant letting him be euthanised to prevent any more suffering. It sounds like he was in a bad way and it was truly the kindest thing to do.
I'm sure that Scarby appreciates the gesture and knows how hard a decision it was for you, which will mean even more to him.

You put his needs before your own beliefs and that takes incredible courage.

Please dont feel bad.
 
Hi Lucinda

I know how you feel as i went through the same thing with Munchkin. It is the hardest decision to ever make but you made the right decision for Scarby.

Thinking of you

xxxxx
 
Aw you poor thing, it must have been the hardest decision you've ever made, and the bravest. Poor little Scarby would have been in a lot of pain, the way it happened he went for a snooze and now he's not in any more pain.. you must miss him so much but you did the right thing, doesn't make it easy though I know.

x
 
You did a very kind thing by letting him go, you did it for him and not for you. If you had chosen the alternative, he would have been in a lot of pain and discomfort. If there was a chance he'd have got over it and recovered, you could have chosen that option but you know that wasn't going to happen. He sounds as if he had a wonderful life with you and that's something to be celebrated. It's easy to say I know, because you do feel so guilty but the vet advised you and you did the best thing for him.

Chin up Lucinda. Scarby's probably looking down on you with a mouth full of grass and lots of lovely girl guineas round him.

Take care.
 
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