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Dilemma with Benson

So benson is still with us but it's becoming an ethical dilemma now. Yesterday, i approached the cage with "hello, benson!" and he chirupped back in strong voice. His voice varies between none existent to husky to full vocal. He was looking great.

However, his weight had plummeted to 570g. His lowest yet. It had been holding around the 610g mark. Watching him last night, he is really keen to eat his veg but he struggles to position it. So he loves green beans and wants to get them end on but he cant get the bean into that position himself. So he eats better if we hold them for him. Even pepper, cucumber he manages better now if we hold it. Otherwise it moves away as he noses it and he can nibble a bit but not as much as if we hold it. He seems to go at things with some vigour. He does well with the mini corn on the cobs.
So he is definitely getting less able but with his bright eyes and keen spirit, i just am in a real pickle about what to do.

I ordered some more loxicom in the post and it has gone missing. The vet is posting out more today (i live an hour away so this has saved me a trip and worked well in the past)
I should have enough to last as long as it comes tomorrow or weds latest.

Think this week could be a key one really. Had a great week with him last week but i have a feeling this one is going to see further decline.
Its a funny feeling as i dont want to prolong his suffering of course, but as my entire routine has been revolving around his needs these past few weeks, he is going to leave a huge hole in our lives for sure.
 
tabelmabel said:
So benson is still with us but it's becoming an ethical dilemma now. Yesterday, i approached the cage with "hello, benson!" and he chirupped back in strong voice. His voice varies between none existent to husky to full vocal. He was looking great.

However, his weight had plummeted to 570g. His lowest yet. It had been holding around the 610g mark. Watching him last night, he is really keen to eat his veg but he struggles to position it. So he loves green beans and wants to get them end on but he cant get the bean into that position himself. So he eats better if we hold them for him. Even pepper, cucumber he manages better now if we hold it. Otherwise it moves away as he noses it and he can nibble a bit but not as much as if we hold it. He seems to go at things with some vigour. He does well with the mini corn on the cobs.
So he is definitely getting less able but with his bright eyes and keen spirit, i just am in a real pickle about what to do.

I ordered some more loxicom in the post and it has gone missing. The vet is posting out more today (i live an hour away so this has saved me a trip and worked well in the past)
I should have enough to last as long as it comes tomorrow or weds latest.

Think this week could be a key one really. Had a great week with him last week but i have a feeling this one is going to see further decline.
Its a funny feeling as i dont want to prolong his suffering of course, but as my entire routine has been revolving around his needs these past few weeks, he is going to leave a huge hole in our lives for sure.
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It sounds like Benson is still pretty chirpy if less able. I’m sure he’s enjoying all the attention with the hand feeding. I know Hamish does when his teeth are bad.

It is a huge dilemma I know. It sounds like there is some quality of life there for the wee man. Perhaps he will let you know when he just doesn’t want any food one day or maybe he’ll just slip away.
Hamish says hello to Benson from his sprawled out position in the garden. He’s been very grumpy and a bit withdrawn the last couple of days but he’s perked up now he’s on the lawn. He’s at the front and that’s Algy behind him (it’s his turn with Hamish currently). You can see Claudio in the run laying down next to them. 😀
Thinking of you x7B445099-66A5-4596-9ABB-F5901ECB8187.webp
 
aww thinking of you and Benson.. virtual hugs to you both... emotional rollercoaster ! xx
 
Omg well i popped benson into his cage with mike (after his bath and weigh etc) and he fell onto his side, i popped him up again and he kind of launched himself head first into a pile of hay, with his foot sticking out and, tbh, i didnt think he would move from there for many hours. In fact i thought that might be the total end of self feeding.

So i have been out to a cafe and I'm thinking i should maybe make the euthanasia appt for tomorrow morning and keep his gut going tonight with hand fed veg/ CC.

Got home. To my astonishment, benson his up, has travelled the entire length of the cage and is at the stickle which is a natural hay one. He really must be close to the end now but he is a little fighter. He even churruped away when i expressed surprise that he was up and about. Amazing!
 
We have had rain since saturday @alexr so no chance of any lawn time :no:. Has been torrential today and will be a while til it dries out i think. Benson loved getting out last week, really perked him right up. I hope it does the same for Hamish, lovely pigture:love:
 
Benson didnt seem to have eaten as much veg as usual yesterday. And he didnt seem to be able to manage many pellets either. Its funny as the vet checked his teeth and said they were fine but he does seem to be struggling to get the food to his mouth. Like he nosesthe pellets but cant pick them up.

Anyway, last night, i mushed some pellets into a puree and just blobbed a heap in front of him and he ate loads. And nibbled quite a bit of pepper.

This morning, he again greeted me with a chirp. I have given his loxicom but not done his bath as i need more baby shampoo. I will see what he looks like after i have cleaned him up.


Had to cut his nails again last night. They grow really twisty. I managed to nick one and draw blood, poor lad. I dont think they were as long as i maybe thought but i hadnt done them for about 3 weeks. Hopefully that will be the last time.
 
So benson's loxicom has not arrived in today's post. Called vet who assured me they sent it recorded delivery yesterday first class. As this vet is only about 40 miles away, it should have been here today and I'm more inclined to think this is a problem with the royal mail than with the vet. I do have sufficient left for today and maybe tomorrow.

Benson has now had his ablutions. I put some coriander for him and he really did want it but he just cant seem to get it in his mouth. He has a much better stab at carrot and corn cobs as they stay still whilst he goes at them.

Its very difficult but with this feeding issue getting worse, i dont want to hold off too long and risk a twisted gut. There are no available appts at the vet tomorrow but i have one at 9.20 thurs morning.

As he still has the will to eat, i think i will be able to keep his gut going with critical care til then but i think it will be a mistake to keep him over another weekend.
His eyes still have life in them and he makes every effort to chirp but, with a heavy heart, i think i have to say the time is very close now so i am going to take him along thurs. Its a very nice vet who i do use for my dogs. He isnt cavy savvy but he is very caring with the animals so i am sure he will be gentle with benson.
 
Sad news, poor Benson and poor you as well, it’s such a tough call but if he simply can’t eat then it’ll go down pretty fast for him, so I think you’re doing the right thing in that sense :(
 
Thanks. It is a really tough call and I'm still a bit in two minds about it to be honest. There's no doubt that the reason he is still with us is due to all the extra help I'm giving him. It's become a real ethical dilemma for me. Yesterday, i syringe fed 25 ml critical care, he took it really well and of course it perked him right up. His weight is up a bit today, no doubt due to the cc yesterday.
But he can barely walk. He cant eat hay, cant seem to manage pellets anymore and really can only eat things that remain steady whilst he goes at them - loves corn cobs, can manage carrot and cucumber. Anything like herbs or grass, he does want it but he just pushes his nose into it, he cant get it into his mouth himself and cant seem to eat it if we hold it either.
Of course his poor diet results in a small amount of poop which i need to clean out for him

He has his sore feet problem so they need cleaned and cream on every day.

And yet he still definitely either vocalises or tries to when i come into the room. And he does move about the cage as best he can.
Maybe he could go on a while longer with full support but he is very disabled now and needing full help with cleaning and almost total feeding support too now.

It is so hard but with no prospect of recovery, i think this is right.
 
my heart is with you! so very sorry. You are doing the right thing though, it comes to a point where we have to look and see if we are prolonging life for us or them. Better to do it while he is still somewhat happy than to wait until he is miserable and then beat yourself up for waiting too long. He is a lucky lucky man and is a testament to your love and care.
 
warnisha said:
You are doing the right thing though, it comes to a point where we have to look and see if we are prolonging life for us or them. Better to do it while he is still somewhat happy than to wait until he is miserable
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Thank you for this.
 
One way of making a tough decision when you really don’t know what’s best is:
Make a decision, live with it for a while and if you feel a sense of peace about it then that is the right choice.
If you don’t feel comfortable then it’s not right, at least not yet.

Keeping you in my thoughts
 
It must be so hard for you. Totally agree with @Merab's Slave . Was incredibly hard last week with me making my horrible choice with Rupert so know it’s blooming hard when they have good days and bad days. You know him best and will do what’s best for the gorgeous boy. The amazing little fighter man he is! :luv: x
 
Merab's Slave said:
One way of making a tough decision when you really don’t know what’s best is:
Make a decision, live with it for a while and if you feel a sense of peace about it then that is the right choice.
Click to expand...
That sounds good but i dont think benson will be able to manage long enough for me to feel at peace unfortunately
 
I am so very sorry to hear that the time is coming when you have to make the horrible decision. I’m dreading it and so hope it won’t come to that. I think you will know if the time is right. Whatever happens, I will be thinking about you. Give him an extra hug and tell him how much he’s meant to you. I tell Hamish and reminisce about all our happy times together quite regularly. I like to think he will know how special he is to me and, likewise, Benson will know from you. xx
 
He has gone. I have put his body in the cage with mike. He looks very peaceful. Now i have had the chance to look at him, i didnt do a bad job at all of keeping him clean. The fur on his tummy is clean and he smells lovely. Now i can see him at peace, i feel better. It was the right time.
 
I’m so sorry. You’ve been so amazing with all your care for him and he’s had a brilliant life. Massive hugs xx
Sleep tight Benson you gorgeous, brave boy xx
 
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