Euthanasia guilt feel so sick

Pigglemama

Pigglemama

Junior Guinea Pig
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Some of you may have seen my post about Simba my beautiful Abyssinian who was put to sleep yesterday.

A little back story but he wasn’t ‘himself’ from Monday onwards and was eating less and less and chewing strangely. The exotic looked at him and said he would do x rays and bloods and possible dental under anaesthetic. Post op he was very lethargic- he had his teeth trimmed but the vet didn’t seem to think this was what was truly wrong and it was somewhat inconclusive. We brought him home, gave him critical care there were a few poops but he just sat in the same spot in his house.

He wasn’t eating on his own and the poops stopped pretty much. He wasn’t eating given gut stimulant and antibiotics and pain relief. Fast forward to Wed I took him back and the exotic said she didn’t think that his behaviour was from the anaesthetic and that she suspected there was more going on as he seemed in pain.

At this point he was incubated, fed critical care and given fluids but no poop at all.

She and the other exotic advised that they thought with euthanasia would be the kindest as despite the pain relief he wasn’t really moving. She suspected spinal infection or brain issues.

I chose to have my baby boy put to sleep on their advice and now think he was only 24 hours out of the op and I should have given him longer. I am wracked with guilt and feel sick. My daughter who was his ‘mum’ doesn’t doubt that we did the right thing but I just feel in bits over it.

If two exotics agreed could they have been wrong? They said he was in pain but he was a nervous boy and may have just been tense?
I don’t know if anyone will have answers but I could do with some words xx
 
I am so sorry for your loss.
Guilt and the what if question is a normal part of grief.
You gave Simba the best possible life and best of care.
Sometimes pts is the only choice even if it tears us apart.

I still feel the occasional pang of guilt for the piggies I have had to make that decision for, but it’s because we loved them so much that we feel the pain of loss.

You made the best decision you could given the vet advice and information you had.
The rawness will ease with time.
Grief is a process and it takes time
Be gentle and patient with yourself as you grieve.

The bereavement thread on the forum has some excellent advice and information about grieving.

You are not alone and we will be here for you.
Holding you in my heart ♥️
 
Merab said:
I am so sorry for your loss.
Guilt and the what if question is a normal part of grief.
You gave Simba the best possible life and best of care.
Sometimes pts is the only choice even if it tears us apart.

I still feel the occasional pang of guilt for the piggies I have had to make that decision for, but it’s because we loved them so much that we feel the pain of loss.

You made the best decision you could given the vet advice and information you had.
The rawness will ease with time.
Grief is a process and it takes time
Be gentle and patient with yourself as you grieve.

The bereavement thread on the forum has some excellent advice and information about grieving.

You are not alone and we will be here for you.
Holding you in my heart ♥️
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Thanks so much for your kindest words. I will keep reading them for reassurance x
 
piggieminder said:
A Practical and Sensitive Guide to Dying, Terminal Illness and Euthanasia in Guinea Pigs

Human Bereavement - Grieving, coping tips and support links for guinea pig owners and their children

Sending you hugs. I hope you can find some comfort in the above guides, they have helped me in the past. For what it's worth I think you did the right thing, it's normal to question everything while you are grieving.
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Thank you so much! Your reply has meant a lot to me x
 
Sorry to hear you have lost your beautiful piggy. Very sad news. You loved him very much and letting him go was terribly difficult. It was probably the kindest thing to do if he was no longer eating or even moving around. The urge in piggies to eat is extremely strong and they have to be very ill to stop and sit motionless. Still terribly sad. Wishing you comfort 🙏 🌈
 
Truffolo said:
Sorry to hear you have lost your beautiful piggy. Very sad news. You loved him very much and letting him go was terribly difficult. It was probably the kindest thing to do if he was no longer eating or even moving around. The urge in piggies to eat is extremely strong and they have to be very ill to stop and sit motionless. Still terribly sad. Wishing you comfort 🙏 🌈
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Thank you I worry I was expecting too much from him after 24 hours from surgery 😩
 
You have nothing to feel guilty about. Feel sad but not guilty. My story is the opposite to yours. My Percy was only 2.5 years and got a bladder stone. We operated. He had a bad reaction to the anaesthetic. He had the operation on the Friday, I took him back to the vets on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. He passed away on the Monday evening. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t have put him through those last days with lots of injections and should have let him go sooner. So either way I would have felt bad.

You gave Simba a fabulous life. That’s what matters. Take care ❤️
 
weepweeps said:
You have nothing to feel guilty about. Feel sad but not guilty. My story is the opposite to yours. My Percy was only 2.5 years and got a bladder stone. We operated. He had a bad reaction to the anaesthetic. He had the operation on the Friday, I took him back to the vets on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. He passed away on the Monday evening. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t have put him through those last days with lots of injections and should have let him go sooner. So either way I would have felt bad.

You gave Simba a fabulous life. That’s what matters. Take care ❤️
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weepweeps said:
You have nothing to feel guilty about. Feel sad but not guilty. My story is the opposite to yours. My Percy was only 2.5 years and got a bladder stone. We operated. He had a bad reaction to the anaesthetic. He had the operation on the Friday, I took him back to the vets on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. He passed away on the Monday evening. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t have put him through those last days with lots of injections and should have let him go sooner. So either way I would have felt bad.

You gave Simba a fabulous life. That’s what matters. Take care ❤️
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Thank you so much- I’m so sorry that you lost your lovely boy too x
 
I'm so sorry you lost your beautiful boy.Please don't doubt yourself although it's easier said than done.I'm exactly the same when I've had to make that decision for a beloved pet and beat myself up sometimes thinking did I do everything right. @Merab is right, guilt is a natural part of grieving.Sending you big hugs xx
 
Gem789 said:
I'm so sorry you lost your beautiful boy.Please don't doubt yourself although it's easier said than done.I'm exactly the same when I've had to make that decision for a beloved pet and beat myself up sometimes thinking did I do everything right. @Merab is right, guilt is a natural part of grieving.Sending you big hugs xx
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Thank you so much ☺️
 
I am so sorry that you have had to make this decision for your lovely Simba. It’s the toughest decision we ever have to make and feelings of guilt are a natural response as we try to make sense of what has happened. I think it also shows how much you loved him. Be kind to yourself. Big hugs
 
Pigglemama said:
Some of you may have seen my post about Simba my beautiful Abyssinian who was put to sleep yesterday.

A little back story but he wasn’t ‘himself’ from Monday onwards and was eating less and less and chewing strangely. The exotic looked at him and said he would do x rays and bloods and possible dental under anaesthetic. Post op he was very lethargic- he had his teeth trimmed but the vet didn’t seem to think this was what was truly wrong and it was somewhat inconclusive. We brought him home, gave him critical care there were a few poops but he just sat in the same spot in his house.

He wasn’t eating on his own and the poops stopped pretty much. He wasn’t eating given gut stimulant and antibiotics and pain relief. Fast forward to Wed I took him back and the exotic said she didn’t think that his behaviour was from the anaesthetic and that she suspected there was more going on as he seemed in pain.

At this point he was incubated, fed critical care and given fluids but no poop at all.

She and the other exotic advised that they thought with euthanasia would be the kindest as despite the pain relief he wasn’t really moving. She suspected spinal infection or brain issues.

I chose to have my baby boy put to sleep on their advice and now think he was only 24 hours out of the op and I should have given him longer. I am wracked with guilt and feel sick. My daughter who was his ‘mum’ doesn’t doubt that we did the right thing but I just feel in bits over it.

If two exotics agreed could they have been wrong? They said he was in pain but he was a nervous boy and may have just been tense?
I don’t know if anyone will have answers but I could do with some words xx
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Hi

BIG HUGS

Strong feelings of guilt and intense soul-searching are normal for the onset of the grieving process and are an expression of how deeply you care; not that you have actually done anything wrong. We humans are unfortunately wired to reflect everything back onto ourselves. This is much more intensive after a traumatic experience when you have to go by instinct and haven't got time to brace or reflect. :(

Please trust your heart; you have made the right decision and have spared him unnecessary suffering in what would have otherwise been a drawn-out death. Simba was just unlucky. He has had the check to find out what was really wrong and something serious was obviously wrong. Sadly, what you can never buy is the guarantee for success. You can only buy the opportunity and do your best as an owner. There is nothing wrong with your heart or your instinct. You have not failed Simba in any way.

Unfortunately, when you love so deeply, the grieving process can take you to some weird and unexpected places and trap you in some rather destructive mind loops. :(
This guide explains a bit more about the grieving process, which is a lot more complex than just being sad and bowling your eyes out. You may find it helpful and you may find the tips for how you can help yourself as well as the resources for trained help (some of it free of charge) useful in understanding what is happening to you along the way and hopefully not feeling quite as lost.
Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

We are here to provide understanding community support for as long as wished. Please bookmark this your dedicated support thread so you can pick it up easily again.
 
Wiebke said:
Hi


Strong feelings of guilt and intense soul-searching are normal for the onset of the grieving process and are an expression of how deeply you care; not that you have actually done anything wrong. We humans are unfortunately wired to reflect everything back onto ourselves. This is much more intensive after a traumatic experience when you have to go by instinct and haven't got time to brace or reflect. :(

Please trust your heart; you have made the right decision and have spared him unnecessary suffering in what would have otherwise been a drawn-out death. Simba was just unlucky. He has had the check to find out what was really wrong and something serious was obviously wrong. Sadly, what you can never buy is the guarantee for success. You can only buy the opportunity and do your best as an owner. There is nothing wrong with your heart or your instinct. You have not failed Simba in any way.

Unfortunately, when you love so deeply, the grieving process can take you to some weird and unexpected places and trap you in some rather destructive mind loops. :(
This guide explains a bit more about the grieving process, which is a lot more complex than just being sad and bowling your eyes out. You may find it helpful and you may find the tips for how you can help yourself as well as the resources for trained help (some of it free of charge) useful in understanding what is happening to you along the way and hopefully not feeling quite as lost.
Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

We are here to provide understanding community support for as long as wished. Please bookmark this your dedicated support thread so you can pick it up easily again.
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All of this makes so much sense and you don’t know how much this has helped. I am driving my husband mad going on and on about it. I just wish that the decision had been taken out of my hands but I guess that is everyone’s wish. You have helped more than you know x
 
Pigglemama said:
All of this makes so much sense and you don’t know how much this has helped. I am driving my husband mad going on and on about it. I just wish that the decision had been taken out of my hands but I guess that is everyone’s wish. You have helped more than you know x
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We have the privilege as owners to be in full control of what happens with your pets but the flip side is that it can turn into a very heavy burden indeed when it comes to make-or-break operations and to end of life decisions, which only you can make. :(

The price comes usually afterwards with the overthinking and getting trapped in the guilt loop. Try to see it like that: you have given Simba loads of happy todays in good care, which is how guinea pigs measure their lives by.
The end has come suddenly and too quickly for you but it has spared Simba any unnecessary pain and suffering and yourself unnecessary distress because the decision would not have got any easier nor would the guilt over whether you'd waited too long instead of your current guilt over the 'too soon'. Or the soul-searching about where you have gone wrong if he had just passed away... :yikes:

Try to focus on his happy life with so many good days that you have shared and the fact that the end has come quickly and thanks to your heartbreaking decision, easily for him.
Trust me, had you waited longer, the guilt would not have been any less, you'd just be as torn over it from the other perspective because it is essentially an expression of how much you love and care and not so much about right or wrong in whatever form.
You quite simply wouldn't be going through this if you didn't care about your pets or family...

It is this deep love of yours that is also behind your decision to send him to the Bridge, so you haven't done wrong; you have put Simba's welfare before your own desires and fear of loss. Which is the mark of a truly loving owner.

Simba was blessed to find you as you have been blessed to have found him. He will always remain with you in your heart and your memories and you can still visit him there - especially once you are over the acute and very real pain of losing him. ;)

Anyway, I am glad that I have been able to help you and to relieve your mind. On this friendly forum, we try to be there for the owners as much as the piggies and give each other moral support as well as practical advice. :)
 
I absolutely understand the sick, nauseous feeling from putting down a beloved pet. I’ve been there. But I really hope you are able to give yourself some grace. Based off of your post, euthanasia is to me clearly the right decision. Not eating and pooping is a really dangerous and hard thing for a pig to go through. Grief is so hard. It makes you feel like you did something wrong. I hope you can take some time to be kind to yourself while you grieve, what you are feeling is normal. Sending warm thoughts. 🕊️
 
I'm so sorry to hear you've lost your piggy 😢

You have taken the advice of two exotics vets and I absolutely think that was the right thing to do.

They will have weighed up carefully his chance of recovery and whether it was kinder to let him go.

If it helps, I had a piggy the exact same after bladder stone surgery. He showed no improvement at all, didn't move at all from where I placed him, wouldn't eat or drink. I made the call the next morning to send him over the Rainbow Bridge as I could just tell he wasn't going to recover.

He passed away on my lap whilst I was phoning the vets so I never had to make that final decision 🙁

Sometimes I think we just know deep down somehow that they're not going to get better.
 
Wheekallweek said:
I'm so sorry to hear you've lost your piggy 😢

You have taken the advice of two exotics vets and I absolutely think that was the right thing to do.

They will have weighed up carefully his chance of recovery and whether it was kinder to let him go.

If it helps, I had a piggy the exact same after bladder stone surgery. He showed no improvement at all, didn't move at all from where I placed him, wouldn't eat or drink. I made the call the next morning to send him over the Rainbow Bridge as I could just tell he wasn't going to recover.

He passed away on my lap whilst I was phoning the vets so I never had to make that final decision 🙁

Sometimes I think we just know deep down somehow that they're not going to get better.
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Thanks for such comforting words. I am about to clean his little area out now which will be hard. I am so sorry your baby passed too. x
 
So sorry you lost Simba 💜

I think most of us here know your guilt and pain. It's a terrible decision and those thoughts about "what if..." is haunting us. But it will get better. Give yourself time. You did everything you could for Simba.
 
Pigglemama said:
Thanks for such comforting words. I am about to clean his little area out now which will be hard. I am so sorry your baby passed too. x
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It really is hard to clear things away. But @Wiebke often suggests putting a little shrine in its place - a vase of flowers, a photograph, a candle, maybe a favourite toy or treat 🕯️
 
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