I often feel somewhat similar, though I don't want a relationship. I feel like there is a stigma that all women must marry and have children, but I truly am happier on my own. But sometimes I wonder what my whole purpose is, if that makes any sense at all. I can't afford to live on my own, and I can't seem to get a job that would allow me to do so. All my friends are always wondering why I can't rent, but they are all in relationships (many of them don't have any better jobs then I do) and have a second source of income. I don't like the idea of relying on another person for the things I need and I don't like the idea of having to be in constant communication with a significant other. I'm not gay or bisexual, I find men attractive for sure and I hold no judgement for any sexual orientation, but for some reason, I just don't need it like other people do. It's so weird and hard to explain. But realizing all that, at the same time I know I am not fully happy, and I can't figure out what I need to "fill the void" so to speak. I keep busy with my animals, I don't do well when I'm not busy and have some poor tendencies that I fall into. Don't give up on finding someone if that is what you want though- they could be waiting for you somewhere that you never expected.