Feeling guilty after PTS

lauryn1289

Junior Guinea Pig
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I feel like this is the billionth post I’ve made here lately, I’m sorry! I just really need somewhere to put my thoughts down.

So a few days ago my boy Kip had stopped eating suddenly, constantly in bed and tossing and turning a lot with little to no poops, then perked up a bit after lots of syringe feeds and was interested in food but just couldn’t seem to eat it. Then went downhill again the next day. I knew he was able to chew and was concerned that if he didn’t already have teeth issues he would if he didn’t eat hay, so I put some small strands of hay in his syringe feed and he did chew them and eat a small amount of cucumber soaked hay. Same evening we went to the vet and he was bloated, and based on what she found we put him to sleep.

I just can’t stop thinking what if I made the wrong choice. The same vet practice missed a bladder stone in my OTRB Bobby just weeks prior, but surely they couldn’t have misinterpreted what they DID actually see? It was a different and much nicer vet too who for once actually bothered to try and look at his molars with a long otoscope, but I’m so stuck on the fact she wasn’t an exotic vet. I was gonna bring him to the nearest exotic vet which is 2 hours away, but everything happened so fast that evening and out of nowhere. I was going to this vet for antibiotics and some pain relief and if they hadn’t worked in a couple of days, bringing him the 2 hour journey.

She told me she saw fluid because he was bloated, but that she also saw fluid in his abdomen which she says could’ve only been caused by 2 things and both were bad (I don’t remember what she said the causes were, I was so emotional and sobbing at this stage.) She said if it was just bloat she would obviously want to treat it, but with the fluid in his abdomen she saw no point.

I keep worrying that she misinterpreted what she saw, or that a second opinion would’ve been better, or maybe she didn’t understand guinea pigs enough to make that call with all the right information. I’m absolutely distraught thinking I put him to sleep if I maybe shouldn’t have. He was nearly 7 but he was still lively and walking around and headbutting his house at that stage, just looked sick and obviously felt it, but I’m so worried he wasn’t sick enough to put to sleep or this could’ve been solved, and he wasn’t ready to go just yet. I only wanted to do what was best for him because I loved him so much and never wanted to think of him being in any sort of discomfort and I’m so worried I made that choice too quickly. I’m absolutely sick with guilt and regret that I could have made the wrong decision here. :(
 
Sending you hugs, losing them is so devastating. Those what if's are so hard but are a natural part of grieving. Everything you did was done with love and you saved Kip a lot of pain. Just because the vet wasn't an exotics vet doesn't mean she didn't know what she was doing. I've seen exotic vets who didn't know much about guinea pigs, they all have their interests and specialities. Bloat is often a secondary symptom to another serious condition. I lost a piggy a week and a bit ago who had had bloat twice in a few months, he was due for a scan on the Monday as the vet and I felt there was something else going on. Nugget died on the Saturday evening before he had his scan.
I am going to link a thread below for you which I hope you find helpful.
 
I'm very sorry that you feel so much guilt. Like was written above it's part of the grieving process. From what you have written in your post you did everything right and saved your boy from very painful last days. That's the most important thing. You gave him the biggest gift of love not to hold on to him , because you were not ready to let him go and all happened so suddenly.
Take care!
 
To sign that piece of paper to end the life of your beloved piggy is the worst. You feel that you have "killed" your pet. What you have actually done is shown them your last act of love by ending their suffering. A vet wouldn't recommend pts unless there was a good reason. Its better a day early than a day too late. Much love and loads of hugs to you at this difficult time.

To reach 7 is a lovely old age for a piggy and
You must have looked after Kip extremely well. Grief is love with nowhere to go and the more we grieve the more we have loved.

Kip is now at The Rainbow Bridge, in his prime once more with all his favourite food and is happily popcorning away making new friends.
 
It's hard to convince yourself that pts was the best thing to do when you're wracked with guilt about it. Many of us here have experienced this awful situation and it is a testament to you're love and compassion that you were able to make the heart rending decision.
 
I just wanted to offer my support too.
It really does sound like you made the kindest decision for your boy.
I have a wonderful vet that I use who is not a specialist at all (I also have a specialist I go to for the complicated stuff).
Honestly despite not being an exotics vet she is wonderful and very, very good at dealing with simpler and obvious things. A general vet is actually fine for most situations, and by choosing to have him seen straight wavy you saved him a lot of suffering and stress.
 
I am so sorry you had to make the hardest decision for Kip, it really is awful but you make that final decision out of love for your boy. Nobody wants their pet to suffer and you have done the kindest thing. Please don’t feel guilty although it’s all part of grieving, we have all thought “if only I/they had…” it’s a natural reaction. Never don’t feel you failed him in any way, you didn’t, he will have known just how much you loved him :hug:
 
Thanks so much for your reassurance everyone, I’m just so stuck on the idea another vet or an exotic vet might’ve had something different to say or a different prognosis. I’m absolutely tormenting myself with it but at the end of the day what’s done is done and I can’t change it now. I’m trying to be grateful Kip lived a fairly healthy life, especially after the suffering my boy Bobby had with a bladder stone before he passed.
 
I completely understand your thought process. I am the exact same way. I torment myself after every decision. It is so difficult. You made a decision based on the information you had. It is so hard to let go of the what ifs. I truly understand. Inam so sorry you are struggling. I am always here of you need someone to listen ❤.
 
I completely understand your thought process. I am the exact same way. I torment myself after every decision. It is so difficult. You made a decision based on the information you had. It is so hard to let go of the what ifs. I truly understand. Inam so sorry you are struggling. I am always here of you need someone to listen ❤.
Thank you so much for being so kind it means the world to me ❤️ Same here, always here if you need someone to talk to!
 
So sorry that you had to make that difficult decision for Kip.
It’s the hardest decision we make and it does tear us apart.
Second guessing a decision is a natural part of grieving and grief takes time to work through.

You made the best decision you could at that moment, showing Kip the love with which you filled his life.
Be gentle with yourself as you grieve and allow yourself all the time you need.

Hugs :hug:
 
So sorry that you had to make that difficult decision for Kip.
It’s the hardest decision we make and it does tear us apart.
Second guessing a decision is a natural part of grieving and grief takes time to work through.

You made the best decision you could at that moment, showing Kip the love with which you filled his life.
Be gentle with yourself as you grieve and allow yourself all the time you need.

Hugs :hug:
Thank you ❤ I googled fluid in the abdomen like she said she saw and it seems to be caused by cirrhosis or another underlying serious disease, and on top of that his poor tummy was so hard and swollen. He was a skinny little boy at his old age and he ballooned up with bloat :( Every time she tapped his tummy it made an awful hollow sound. I’m trying to think realistically about the outcomes of both and whether him being uncomfortable was worth it in any capacity.
Thank you again ❤️ I’ve had a lot of pets in my life especially from rescuing cats and a lot of pets pass away but this was if I remember correctly the only time where I had to make a decision about PTS, very new experience for me.
 
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