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Feeling guilty

Mollymoo7523

Mollymoo7523

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Has anyone else been through something like this?
Yesterday morning, my 7 and a half year old piggy was put to sleep. Although deep down I know we made the right decision, I can't shake the horrible feeling of guilt, and this is because, externally, she seemed totally fine just before it happened.
She had a huge bladder stone that could only be operated on- a huge procedure for an old pig. She was losing weight rapidly and had suspected kidney problems, so the vet would have wanted blood to test first, which is incredibly difficult and stressful for a pig of her size. If she had problems with her kidneys, I don't think they could do anything anyway.
She must have been in a huge amount of pain, but I can't take the image of her eating dandelions and sniffing around just before it happened- even though I know she wasn't, she seemed completely fine, and I can't help feeling like I put my best friend to sleep for no reason.
The only comfort I can find is that the vet said he thought that we had made the right decision.

Does anyone know how I'm feeling?
 
I am so sorry you lost her, you did the right thing, she would have suffered with all the tests and operation. Just remember you gave her a wonderful life and she will have known that she was very loved so please don’t feel guilty x
Sleep tight little lady x
 
I think anyone who has lost a loved pet knows what you are feeling. Guilt is one of the most common emotions when going through bereavement and it is perfectly normal to feel this. Don't deny yourself the time to grieve, the guilt will pass. You are clearly a caring and loving owner who put your piggy first through all this.
 
I completely and utterly understand how you're feeling.

Last year on November 19th I put my beloved boy Mo to sleep (that's the handsome piggy in the left of my profile picture). Unexpectedly, one of his eyes started to bulge and after a rushed vet visit and no improvement I returned back to the vet. He was eating but hardly anything but still seemed himself. Was even kissing my hands (something he never did despite being very very friendly- he actually kissed me in the vet room which I hope was his way of saying yes this is right). They weighed Jim and he was too busy trying to explore. The vet said it definitely wasn't a cyst or ulcer and the eye was damaged beyond repair- i.e his eye needed removing. I was happy to go through with this afterall he was about to be three in January. But the vet said it was likely a tumour due to how quickly and aggressive the eye had bulged out. She couldn't say for sure that removing his eye would even save him.

So I put my little boy to sleep. I miss him. I miss him terribly and I still can't get him out of my head trying to explore and kissing me.

However you did do the right thing. As did I. No vet would suggest putting to sleep unless it was one of the options and one they felt even needed to be suggested. It is and will be hard. But do not blame yourself. She wouldn't want that. She is at peace, no longer in pain. Guinea pigs are prey animals and hide things extremely well so her running around doesn't mean she wasn't hurting, just like my boy exploring.

I'm so sorry for your loss
 
Absolutely, every single time. I go by the “better a week too early than a day too late” view of deciding when to PTS but in a way it’s harder to decide to do so when there still seems life left in them (so to speak).

But guilt is always there, and perhaps I’d be worried if I didn’t feel guilt. You are human, a warm blooded, big hearted human and now there’s a hole in your heart and you’re the one who made the decision so of course you question all the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve’s.

I can tell you you did the right thing, but your brain already knows this. Grief is a process that can not be rushed. I’ll still cry over my piggy which I PTS in January if I stand still and actively think of her. But I can also smile because she had a great life and it was time.

It will get easier with time. But for now, just look after yourself and let yourself feel. Cry, have a glass of wine, order a take away, eat a carton of Ben & Jerry’s... or go for a run/yoga class if that’s your thing - my point is give yourself what you need right now. Your mind is trying to make sense of things and questioning your decision and the stages of grief it’s a bad rollercoaster. The rollercoaster will end.

You did the right thing. Hugs.

When you’re ready you can post something in the rainbow section if that helps.
 
So sorry for your loss. Yes I have been feeling exactly the same, as had to have my boy Ash pts on 9th August. He had a fairly large tumour in his stomach, which had even pushed his kidney to the side. He was 5 plus (a rescue). Ash wasn't eating everything but he was definitely still eating some grass when we had him on the garden and this was even an hour and half before pts. The vet thought it best to pts (as some weight loss too). I even said wasn't sure when took Ash in but another vet reasurred me I was doing the right thing. She said if was a cat could have given steroids. After pts the vet said a second tumour was growing as well. I can't help thinking he could have had a bit longer on the pain meds, although you don't want them to suffer or know how much pain, discomfort they are really in and I know you have to think of your pets feelings first. Yes I still feel guilty and have cried a lot. Xx
 
Thank you so much for everyone’s kind comments, it makes me feel better if I get some sort of confirmation that we did the right thing x
 
I had to put to sleep my lovely Velvet 2 days ago. It was time for her to go but it doesn't make it any easier. You need to let yourself know it was the right thing to do. Your piggy would have suffered and been in pain otherwise. Piggies are prey animals and as such hide illness very well. Velvet had been unwell for a couple of months and I tried my best to get her better but nothing worked. Your Piggy is out of pain now and is in she in her prime and popcorning, has her favourite food and lots of grass. She is happy in Rainbow World. Remember she still loves you and will be forever in your heart.
 
You did the right thing by your piggy, Mollymoo. *hugs*

I have taken many animals big and small for that one-way trip to the vet. It feels awful for us, the humans, but sparing them from the suffering of a natural death is our final gift to them.

A little story. Once, I am ashamed to say, I wavered and held out hope that one of my elderly parakeets would be okay if I gave him a little more time. Instead he began to struggle to breathe and started to slowly die before my eyes, and I had to rush him to the vet to be put to sleep anyway. Ever since then I know it is truly best to take them in while they are still somewhat active and happy. I'll never delay. Especially with prey animals, they hide their suffering so well. It was so hard, I'd hatched him from an egg.

It's wonderful that one of the last things she did was sniff around and eat dandelions. That's a much better finale to life than writhing in pain and being unable to eat or enjoy things anymore. You must have been a great piggy parent for her to live for 7 and a half years.

If she could, I know your friend would thank you for being selfless enough to let her go. I'm so sorry for your loss.
 
I’m so sorry for your loss 💜 your situation sounds very similar to mine x
 
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