Feeling like a failure...

Patterjack&Piggles

Patterjack&Piggles

New Born Pup
Joined
Jun 7, 2019
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Location
Pembrokeshire, Wales
I had to call quits. My trio of boars completely fell out with each other 😓. After over a month of trying different pair combos etc, it became clear they did not want to live together in any way, shape or form. I don't have the space to have 3 single pigs, nor did I want to get more (in case of any more fall outs!), and it was getting ridiculous trying to give everyone the same amount of attention and run time etc without causing more upset! They have all been rehomed, to a friend and her mum who have single pigs due to bereavement, but won't go together, (They all picked a new friend, so are now each part of a pair), and have purpose built piggie palace sheds, so tonnes of space! I'm happy that they are now going to be living their best pig life, but also feel really sad and a failure that it wasn't me who could give them that 😢. Sorry for the whiney post, I just want to get it out of my system to people who would get it! Thanks for reading x
 
Please don’t be hard on yourself, you haven’t failed them. You have realised that things weren’t working and you’ve made some hard and sad decisions to give them a better life - well done! It will be a bit like grieving for a few days but it will get easier in time.
 
KathT said:
Please don’t be hard on yourself, you haven’t failed them. You have realised that things weren’t working and you’ve made some hard and sad decisions to give them a better life - well done! It will be a bit like grieving for a few days but it will get easier in time.
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Thank you. I still have a another bonded pair, so not entirely pig-less, but feel really gutted over the others 🙁
 
Firstly be kind to yourself.
We have all been there with failed bondings and piggy fall outs, and this is in no way a reflection on you as an owner.
You clearly tried everything, and boar trios in particular are notorious for not working out.
You did the right thing for your boys by admitting it wasn't working and finding them a great new home.
Enjoy your remaining pair.
 
Swissgreys said:
Firstly be kind to yourself.
We have all been there with failed bondings and piggy fall outs, and this is in no way a reflection on you as an owner.
You clearly tried everything, and boar trios in particular are notorious for not working out.
You did the right thing for your boys by admitting it wasn't working and finding them a great new home.
Enjoy your remaining pair.
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Thank you for your kind words
 
You have put your piggies first and that is all that counts. You want them to live a happy life, you did your best to provide that at and when it didn't work out you explored different options which worked. Don't feel like a failure you are a selfless person who managed to find a lovely home for your piggies and you can still go and see them which is a bonus.
 
Patterjack&Piggles said:
I had to call quits. My trio of boars completely fell out with each other 😓. After over a month of trying different pair combos etc, it became clear they did not want to live together in any way, shape or form. I don't have the space to have 3 single pigs, nor did I want to get more (in case of any more fall outs!), and it was getting ridiculous trying to give everyone the same amount of attention and run time etc without causing more upset! They have all been rehomed, to a friend and her mum who have single pigs due to bereavement, but won't go together, (They all picked a new friend, so are now each part of a pair), and have purpose built piggie palace sheds, so tonnes of space! I'm happy that they are now going to be living their best pig life, but also feel really sad and a failure that it wasn't me who could give them that 😢. Sorry for the whiney post, I just want to get it out of my system to people who would get it! Thanks for reading x
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Hi!

HUGS

You have NOT failed your boys! In fact, you have been very brave and have put your boys' interests and needs long before your own feelings.
It speaks for your good and loving care, as well as your stronge sens of responsibility that you are having these feelings, as only a loving owner will go through this.

I know from my own experience that letting a piggy of yours go to another home means that you are in fact going through the full grieving process right now, of which feelings of guilt and failure are typical for the onset. Please give yourself time to work through it and be kind to yourself. Once you have worked through it, it will be much easier to stay in contact or even visit but right now it is too painful.
You may find this link here helpful to understand what you are experiencing: Human Bereavement: Grieving, Coping and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

Please do not let yourself be put off by a bad experience from setting out with a grouping that was never going to work; pet shops will unfortunately happily sell trios even though they do not work in the majority of cases. Welfare and good knowledge of the social species needs of the animals they sell take come a long second behind making money. :(
If you can, try to adopt a stable pair from a good standard rescue that complies with minimal welfare regulation, quarantine and home checks, whether that is piggies or another species to avoid most of the pitfalls that await the unwary new pet owner. You have a deep natural ability to love; don't deny this precious gift to yourself and any animals you can make happy once you have come out of the other end of your bad experience. Deep love will cause you pain from time to time, but like light needs shade to really shine, so will your empathy mature by working through the dark times.
 
Please don’t feel like you have failed them, that’s clearly not the case. You have done the right thing and found all three a new home with a new companion. That’s great that you have put them first and only a caring owner would do this with their best interests at heart. You are bound to miss them but they are happy and all have a companion, well done x
 
Wow, thank you all so much for your lovely words and support, actually brought tears to my eyes! It's nice to know that fellow piggle peoples aren't considering me a useless owner, and can see I had their best interests at heart. It has made me feel a bit better about myself, thank you, you wonderful people xx
 
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