Getting Over The Guilt Of Putting My Boy To Sleep

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DMBernard

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Hello all,

A few weeks ago I had to put my baby boy Erik to sleep. One day I noticed he had lost some weight and was breathing heavily. I took him to the vet immediately, who x-rayed him and found so much fluid around his lungs he couldn't even see his heart. The for the next week I syringe fed Erik and had him on a diuretic. He seemed to be doing better, and a follow up x-ray showed his heart was normal. However, the following week the diuretic stopped being effective and the fluid was back. I took him to a different vet who I trusted a little more, and she found white blood cells in the fluid typical of lymphoma. At this point, Erik was in so much pain, he was so skinny, and the diuretic wasn't effective, that I decided to put him down.

It's been a few weeks but I can't get over the sadness and guilt. I adopted Erik a year and a half ago when he was two. He was my baby. Never have I met a more beautiful, calm piggy. We always joked he should be a model. He helped me through so many times with his cuddles and kisses, and I feel like I failed him. I keep feeling like if I tried harder, noticed earlier, it would have ended differently. I trust this vet, and logically I know Erik wouldn't have lasted more than a few more days, but I keep wondering if I could have saved him, and if I condemned him. I just feel so horrible that he died so young.

I don't know if anyone has any advice on how to get over these feelings? I just miss Erik so much. I feel like I failed him.
 
I still feel exactly the same way about having my cat put to sleep. It's been six months and in my head I know I did the right thing with putting her down as she advanced kidney failure (she was 18) and was suffering but I feel so guilty and sad still. I even feel guilty about getting the piggies so soon after. I hope over time Things will get easier for us both. I'm sorry for your loss.
 
You didn't fail him in ANY way , it's the last act of kindness you can do for your pet to let them slip away in a deep sleep .
Possibly suggest some counselling it helped me a lot when my mum died ? They always want to help and listen :)
 
It's the ultimate and most selfless act of love to have your pet PTS. Guilt, regret and sorrow are all part of the grieving process. He wasn't just a pet. He was a family member. You loved and cared for him and you didn't fail him in any way. Grief is a process that takes time to work its way through. It's natural to still have strong emotional response to his passing - it's only recent. And it's a traumatic event being part of the decision making and being there at the end of life. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself time to grieve him as you would any other family member. Hugs x
 
We've gone through something very similar this week with Lloyd, one of our two bonded boars, who had a mass growing in his stomach. He was booked in for a scan and possible surgery yesterday to have the problem dealt with, but he started going downhill Tuesday night.

Rushed him to the vet and she found lots of fluid in his stomach cavity (suggesting the mass had ruptured), and that was putting pressure on his lungs and heart. We were asked if we wanted to put him to sleep or the vet could try giving him some pain relief/anti-biotics to clear it.

We opted for the latter, but he passed away at home in the early hours of that morning. We felt we had to give him another chance at treatment, but seeing him suffer and struggling for breath over the course of the evening was really tough and upsetting, and I've really struggled since then about whether we did the right thing. On the one hand, he got to pass away in familiar surroundings, with his best friend at his side, while getting treated to lots and lots of cuddles, and if the treatment had worked, he might have been well enough for surgery and I wouldn't be responding to this thread. On the other hand, we could have saved him a few extra hours of suffering.

If we were in the same situation again, I still think we would have gone for the extra treatment, but you can't help but second guess your decisions, so I can relate to what you're going through a lot.

You didn't fail him in anyway, though. You sought treatment for him, devoted yourself to getting him better, and did everything you could. But sometimes the thing we're working against just is too much for us and for our little piggies. xx
 
VickiA said:
It's the ultimate and most selfless act of love to have your pet PTS.
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This, definitely this. I had one of my boys PTS a few years ago, and even now I still feel bad about it sometimes. He was so happy and bright, but I have to remember that I was doing what had to be done, I really didn't want him to suffer and he wasn't going to get any better.

I just remember the happy times. The times during the weeks and months before when I was feeding him, and giving him lots of love.

When you love pigs you feel awful whatever way they leave us. Did we do it too soon if we had them PTS? Did we make them suffer for letting them pass away on their own? We always do what we think is best, and that's what matters.
 
Thank you all. These responses mean a lot. I'm definitely trying my best to take care of my little oinkers - I just wish it was enough for Erik. He deserved better.
 
@DMBernard I'm so sorry for your loss and I know only to well how much it hurts and how easy it is to blame yourself or keep going over the situation questioning every little detail- what if I'd have gone to this vet? What if I'd have given him more time? Was it this? Was it that? I did this too and all it did was make it hurt even more. Even I can tell that Erik was dearly loved by you and I'm sure he would thank you for being so brave and doing what most piggy mums dread. He is not not in any pain and will always be in your heart and memories.
My first piggy Vinny died four days after her third birthday in January 2015 and I thought I'd never have another Guinea pig. One day she was fine and the next morning her head was tilted and she was drooling with no appetite at all...little did I know that four days after I'd be holding her as the vet put her to sleep. I still question myself today though I know it was pointless. Did I take her to the right vet? Should I have noticed it earlier? And the worst thing is I don't even know for sure what it was- I believe it was meningitis after my own research as the vet couldn't tell me.
Sorry for giving you a paragraph about me but I hate to think of you upsetting yourself more. I'm sure Erik would want you to be happy and take care of more piggies in the future and the pets you have now. Xx sending you my prayers and deepest sympathy Jess and Mo
 
I'm so sorry about Erik. If you are a loving caring piggy slave, you put your piggy first. You didn't let him suffer. Everything you did was right. Of course you feel horrible & sad that's only natural, 4 weeks ago one of our much loved piggys was put to sleep, on the operating table. She went in to be spayed & they found a massive cancerous tumour. They couldn't do anything so I did the only thing I could & had her put to sleep while under the anaesthetic. I feel guilty as well, you mustn't keep going on blaming yourself. With grief you will go through anger, guilt, crying, mourning sadness. At some point that will fade & you will remember all the funny things Erik did.

Sleep Tight little Erik
 
Really sorry about Erik....I know how difficult it is now and also know , that with time the pain will ease off....It has been 2.5 years since I had to let my little boy go. He was such beautiful character and I will forever have the most special place in my heart for him. I don't think one can ever fully get over the loss of beloved animal especially when a decision of PTS had to be made but we always try to make best possible choices and try to fill our piggies lives with all the love we have in our hearts... sending you my prayers xx
 
Months on I still feel guilt over Kasper and believe that there was something that could have been done :bye:
 
Sending you huge hugs. You did right my him and that's sadly a the hardest part of pet ownership.
 
DMBernard said:
He deserved better.
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I don't agree, he got the best care and he was lucky enough to live with someone who recognised when enough was enough. I think that's the best a pig can get, really.

And remember this, it's a caring owner who feels this way when they lose a pet. Your pig was one of the fortunate ones to land up with someone who cared enough to seek treatment and pts when the time came.
 
Sue and Smartie said:
I don't agree, he got the best care and he was lucky enough to live with someone who recognised when enough was enough. I think that's the best a pig can get, really.

And remember this, it's a caring owner who feels this way when they lose a pet. Your pig was one of the fortunate ones to land up with someone who cared enough to seek treatment and pts when the time came.
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:agr:
 
I know how you feel. Not a week ago I had to put my Sophie down. She was a beautiful holland Lop rabbit. But I also knew she was very sick and it's cruel to let any animal suffer in pain. Putting her down was the best option for her.

You did the right thing. Sometimes we have to make hard decisions in life and they hurt. But you did what was best. I'm very sorry for your loss.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been in the position of having to put beloved pets to sleep too, and it is always the hardest decision to have to make and it's hard not to feel guilty about it and ask yourself 'what if.' But honestly, you made a painful decision out of love for him, so that he wouldn't have to suffer or be uncomfortable any longer and could pass peacefully. You gave him the most loving gift possible at that time. ((HUGS)) and try not to beat yourself up. You gave him the very best care you could and were kind enough to let him go peacefully when his little body had had enough.
 
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