Got a written warning... :(

Status
Not open for further replies.
Joined
Aug 9, 2006
Messages
2,489
Reaction score
3
Points
0
Location
North Yorkshire
:-\

We put Marvin to sleep midnight on Thursday. My workplace (residential home) is just five minutes away from where I live, so right on my way home. I felt awful, and I really didnt think I could go to work next day, being nice to everyone and cheerful, and I probably would have done some really stupid things like forgetting to put the brake on a wheelchair or something - I just wouldnt have been thinking about what I was doing, but would have been thinking about the pet I lost.
Also, I had a really crap nights sleep, my boyfriend and me were just shattered.. :(

So I had him drive by my work, and told the nightgirls I wouldnt be coming in for the next morning, thinking this is the right thing to do as I give them as much notice as I can to try and cover the shift :-\

I had then my weekend off, and today was my first day back at work. And I have been handed a written warning!

Something along the lines of this practice is unacceptable, and she understands people get attached to their pets, but she already gave me time off once before when a pet died, and it says in my contract if I want to take annual leave it is only possible after prior agreement off my boss. And obviously she cannot give staff compassionate leave for the death of a pet.

She does not intend to take this matter further, but if it happens again she will, because it is "taking annual leave without permission" which is a disciplinary matter. Basically: If another pet gets sick or dies, and I need time off - I'm in deep .

So basically, I will have to lie from now on then?!

If I had rung in saying I didnt sleep well last night, I feel horrible and think I will come down sick with something flu-like, then I would just be allowed to be at home, but if I am honest, and say I am shattered because my Marvin died, then I get trouble?

Great society this is, where you basically HAVE to lie... :(

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest..
 

PiggiePal

Adult Guinea Pig
Joined
Oct 29, 2006
Messages
1,876
Reaction score
8
Points
455
Location
Cheltenham
God this type of thing really p*sses me off too. So yes, I think lying is the only way about it unfortunately. :-X
People just dont understand how hard it is to cope with losing a pet who you have known and cared for all their life. Its impossible to want to face anything after losing a loved one.
Hopefully you wont have to do this anytime soon anyway, I understand exactly how you feel though!
Alyson x
 
L

lizz79

OOOO :( I dont know quite what to say, it looks like the best thing todo is lie, Some ppl just dont understand what animal lovers go through when we lose a pet.I f it was me id just nod my head, try to forget about it ( think some awful nasty things about your boss in your head) and god forbid if anything should happen to one of your pets ,ring your work and lie.

I used to work in an EMI home and my boss was a .......OOOOOOOOO, well i think you know what i mean...lol

I know its hard when you feel angry especially if your like me you feel you work god damn hard and feel like they dont care a thing for you.
SEND you HUGS :D
 

Glynis

Forum Buddy
Joined
Oct 13, 2006
Messages
36,837
Reaction score
1,459
Points
1,965
Location
Croydon, Victoria, Australia
What a load of cr@p that's so unfair >:(
I'm a boss and if any of my guys have pet probs the first thing i tell them to do is go home.
Just don't understand some people grrrrrrrr
Unfortunately from now on you will have to tell a lie i wouldn't normally advise it, but i'd hate you to loose your job.
Best of luck :)
 
F

Fr0ggy

That's really unfair-you tell people the truth cause it's the right thing to do and now you're going to be forced to lie if it happens in the future. I bet your boss does not have any experience of pets-either that or she has a heart of stone
 
Joined
Mar 29, 2006
Messages
1,569
Reaction score
1
Points
0
awwww thats so unfair :( It seems that this society is getting based on lies tbh..... You think you're doing the right thing telling the truth and then WHAM!

I recently had a verbal warning, for something that wasnt even my fault! grrrr - work can get you down sometimes :O(

/hugs x Hope you feel better soon x

Trace x
 

Billies Mum

Adult Guinea Pig
Joined
Sep 14, 2006
Messages
2,557
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Thats is SO out of order. >:(

After your bad week last week and now this

I'm so sorry
 

kayjay

Adult Guinea Pig
Joined
Aug 9, 2006
Messages
1,153
Reaction score
0
Points
380
Sorry 'sticking my head above the parapet' I'm with your workplace here. I used to work as a nurse and have also worked in personnel so can see it from both sides. At your work, there are people who need care and as much as you love your pet you have a responsibility to go into work and smile. That's your job. I know I'll probably get shouted down here, but the people in the residential home and staff are depending on you coming to work and stopping by to say you can't get in cos your pet's sick or has died, in my view, wouldn't be acceptable and I would have done the same thing as your boss. (Sorry)

In my nursing job we only got compassionate leave for very close relatives, ie parents, spouse, siblings. We didn't even get leave for grandparents at that time, I hope it's different now though. And in most nursing/residential homes staffing is low anyway so by not going in there's extra pressure put on the existing staff and if it was your grandma or mum who wasn't getting appropriate care as a member of staff's pet had died and she was too tired to come into work I suspect you wouldn't be very happy.

Just my opinion, don't want to upset anyone, I'm not suggesting that the death of a pet isn't an awful thing, just that life carries on and you have to also.
 

Billies Mum

Adult Guinea Pig
Joined
Sep 14, 2006
Messages
2,557
Reaction score
0
Points
0
I can see what you are saying, but I dont agree with the written warning tbh

A little chat explaining what you have explained would have been more appropriate maybe?
 
Joined
Nov 20, 2006
Messages
1,448
Reaction score
0
Points
0
It seems if you tell the truth these days you get nothing so you have to end up lying and it sucks

I worked for a big firm like that and in the end i walked out as they basically treated me like and nothing could be done as there was no personel department,but those who constantly got away with crap nothing was or ever has been done about them
 
Joined
Jan 23, 2006
Messages
4,721
Reaction score
0
Points
0
I do understand where kayjay is coming from but a bit of compassion is what is lacking here, to some people( most of us) pets are our family and we feel ill with worry and upset so maybe even if she did go in she might well have made a mistake which in that type of job coiuld be dangerous, I know these elderly are needy people and need some one to look after them but maybe not someone with thier mind distruaght with upset,
but then on the other hand I wish my Grandparents were still around to talk to me when I need it, living so long they are a weath of information and love, so maybe one of more of the elderly at the home could have made you feel much better if you told them why you was so down, they would have had the understanding a lot of younger people lack, your boss for example bogged down with the day to day running of their work place , so I see it both ways, a little bit of compassion was needed by the boss maybe a decent chat and reasons why she thought it was was wrong was all that was needed and talking it through with one or more of the residents might well have helped you, anyway its done now so file it away and try to forget about the lack of compassion shown to you sweetheart you know how bad you feel missing your little darling and no one can take that away from you, and next time dont hesitate LIE I would
 
Joined
Aug 9, 2006
Messages
2,489
Reaction score
3
Points
0
Location
North Yorkshire
thank you for all your support and replies!

kayjay, I see where you are coming from and I do know how shortstaffed we always are...
but on the other hand, when I am at work I want to do a proper job. I have duty of care to those people,
and if I feel I can not do my job properly, then wouldnt it be better for me not to be there on that day?

After all, if something *was* to happen due to me being far far away with my thoughts,
I would be told "well if you felt like you werent able to do the job today, why are you here?"

Thats also what I was told in my induction course, you have to leave the troubles of your private life behind when you go to work and smile, and thats what I do. Those people feel miserable often enough without me walking around with red puffy eyes..
So what do I do if I feel I cannot meet the standards of how I should work on a day like that? I thought staying at home would be better for both the residents AND me...

Just feel like whatever I might have done, I would have gotten the blame. Being there and not being cheerful, or being home.


Before this, I worked in a nursing home. We had a girl there who got a call from her boyfriend, her best friend had been beaten up badly and was in hospital. She was in tears; she obviously cared very much for her friend and she just wanted to go and see her, she wasnt in a state to continue working the full 12 hour shift. Her thoughts were miles away with her friend.
She was told that as its not a family member she cant finish early, she would have to finish the shift.. I thought it was so cruel.

Just get the feeling that - ironically - in the social services, care for the STAFF is a very low priority.
 
C

cavykind

I worked as a RN and see where Kayjay is coming from.
I once had to go into work on a new Years Eve when I would have much preferred to stay at home but I went because I knew I would not be easy to replace on that date.

My friends husband had committed suicide days before, my gran was gravely ill and that lunchtime I had taken my dog to the vet and been told she had an inoperable mouth tumour :'(
It was tough shift and when it finished hubby was outside with my dog waiting for me...I just burst into tears.
I do sympathise with abnoba and appreciate that if she really couldn't "hold herself together" she no doubt did the right thing.

I think some people forget (and I generalise here, not meaning anyone in particular) that working in the nursing/care sector isn't like sitting in an office or behind a checkout. Working one person down can put an awful lot of pressure on the remaining staff and the level of care if you are short staffed is not as good. You can only do so much.

Barbara
 
C

carrot_tit

I'm so sorry for your loss.

People just don't understand that the loss of a pet is every bit as devestating as the loss of a family member. I can remember coming into work after one of my rats had passed away and i was setting at my desk trying not to cry and telling people about him. My boss my sympathetically told me to go out and buy a new one!
 
Joined
Aug 30, 2006
Messages
1,458
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Location
Leicester
With working at a vets I dont have this problem. One of the nurse's dogs went missing and she had time off to look for her. She did find the dog in the end and every one was happy. I had time of this year as I had to go to Ireland as my half brother died and I had only met him once. I also had time of when my mother-in-law passed away and I was payed for this. I was told to come back to work when I was ready.

Mary
 

kayjay

Adult Guinea Pig
Joined
Aug 9, 2006
Messages
1,153
Reaction score
0
Points
380
When I was nursing I always found it strange that they cared much less for their staff than they perhaps should have done. I remember an awful shift where I was like a zombie due to various problems at home and just got told to pull myself together. Then when a lovely old gentleman died whilst I was holding his hand I went home totally distraught to be told by my mother to 'leave it at the hospital'. Hence I'm no longer a nurse.... the nature of the job does mean you have to carry on regardless of what's going on at home, if you're getting divorced, just had a miscarriage, your dog's dying, your grandma is seriously ill etc etc. And unfortunately in the 'caring' sector there are lots of young people working who perhaps can't cope as well (I know I certainly couldn't), and it's run by lots of 'hardened' staff who see you as a worker and not a person.

I didn't mean to sound unsympathetic Abnoba, I can totally understand how upset you were, I was just trying to put across the other point of view. I think they could perhaps have been a bit more understanding as at the end of the day the next time you will lie which doesn't solve anything (we used to take 'sickies' when we couldn't face going in, so I've been there done it ;))
 
Joined
Aug 9, 2006
Messages
2,489
Reaction score
3
Points
0
Location
North Yorkshire
I know what you mean, kayjay.

When I was working in a nursing home it was even worse than now in a residential one..
we were always short staffed, and most of the time had a maximum of 10 minutes to get people up and ready for breakfast in the morning... horrible. And I know how one person less at work can make things so bad for the staff that are on duty.
Due to the hard work (even with hoists) almost everyone had constant backache, and with working 12 hour shifts and no emotional encouragement and support from the boss, sicktime went through the roof and I wont even start about the turnover rate ;) staff were running away like sand through your fingers.

the point is though, it shouldnt have to be like that. In any other job, people wouldnt try to guilttrip you into coming in.
If in a job to do with cars, someone offers you to do some overtime, and you say no, they might sigh and say ah well it really would have helped if you covered that shift, but thats it. In any sort of caring role, they look at you with puppy dog eyes and sort of say think of all the people... and make you feel bad to say no, even though you have a perfectly valid reason for not wanting to (e.g. its your wedding anniversary and you promised hubby a nice day together)

in the end while we are in a caring role, we still have to think about ourselves - if we dont function properly, how can we give clients the care they need? But just because you care for people while you are doing your shift, they sort of expect you to put your work before all personal matters, and thats just not right, IMHO.

if you have some reason not to come into work, they should respect it - I mean obviously if you dont turn up on a regular basis, thats different, as that does look dodgy wherever you work. Ah well. ranted enough.
 
I

ilovepiggies

OH NO THATS POOP!

I can see both pionts of view but at the end of the day work takes up a huge part of our lives and its not so hard for employers to show kindness and understand in these situations. If they are nice and understanding towards you then you are much more likely to help them out when they need it and everyone will get on much better.
By being like that with you it makes you think you have no support from your workplace and like you have said next time you will have to lie. Either way they will be without you for a day or two and if they dont have a plan in place to support them when that happens thats their fault.
What is the use of you going to work if like you say you may do more harm than good...

Sorry to rant but I think far too many employers these days have no idea of the concept of give and take - they should value their employees alot more! :)
 
Joined
Feb 17, 2006
Messages
922
Reaction score
4
Points
0
Location
Yorkshire Uk
Feel for you Abnoba, you are being punished for your honesty. You should be proud you are not the kind of person who wouldnt care too much if their pet died or would think it was reasonable to give someone a written warning for that. Hugs x
 
B

Beaney

cavykind said:
I worked as a RN and see where Kayjay is coming from.
I once had to go into work on a new Years Eve when I would have much preferred to stay at home but I went because I knew I would not be easy to replace on that date.

My friends husband had committed suicide days before, my gran was gravely ill and that lunchtime I had taken my dog to the vet and been told she had an inoperable mouth tumour :'(
It was tough shift and when it finished hubby was outside with my dog waiting for me...I just burst into tears.
I do sympathise with abnoba and appreciate that if she really couldn't "hold herself together" she no doubt did the right thing.

I think some people forget (and I generalise here, not meaning anyone in particular) that working in the nursing/care sector isn't like sitting in an office or behind a checkout. Working one person down can put an awful lot of pressure on the remaining staff and the level of care if you are short staffed is not as good. You can only do so much.

Barbara
I have a personal pet hate about comments to do with office workers so this struck a nerve......

I work in an office but have a role where a lot of people are relying on me so I do not see it as being an easier for me to miss work for anything other than an emergency. This is not meant to be retaliation against your comment Barbara (i.e. I do not want an arguement out of this), but in every role that you are doing, what ever it is, there are going to be people who are relying on you. Whilst the nursing and care professions have perhaps a more genuine 'life or death' element to it, I don't think that means anyone outside of those professions is less 'important'.

Anyway, that was off topic. :D

My opinion on this is mixed. It is awful to try and work through when you feel so bad, however you have responsibility to do your job as well. I am sorry for your loss Abnoba, but I think if I had been in your managers shoes (whilst a written warning maybe a bit harsh), I think I would have reacted in a similar way - and I am a animal lover. The company I work for only grant compassionate leave for immediate family only so if I had done what you had done, I would have had disciplinary action against me as well. I think all you can do is make decisions based on what you feel is correct at the time, be honest about it and then ultimatley, you have to take any consequences that result. If you were to lie, if the truth came out later, the consequences would undoubtedly be much worse!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top