GPU help me!

AidaB

AidaB

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Dear Miss Bramble,
Send help please, the hooman is laughing, and won’t stop. She took it into her head to collect all my lovely poo, this happens every day- she takes them away,so I make more!
Well while she was collecting my poo beans, she dropped a few & look….. if I wanted a poo in my crest I would have put one there. I am disgusted & feel I need to be treated with respect, not laughed at for some mistake she made.

Yours hopefully,
Wheeks, but no poo payments to send today.
( they’ve been stolen).
From Wally werepig.
 
Dear Wally Werepig

How very dare your Slave laugh at you when she dropped a poop on your magnificent crest. A crest is a wonderful thing to have and you are blessed to have one. Not all piggies do. The founder of the GPU The Ever Beautiful Betsy had an extra special crest because it was multi-coloured. You are quite right us piggies are a superior species and need to be treated with respect. As for taking away all your poops well that just isn't on. Doesn't she realise that we do secret scientific experiments with our poop?

To teach your Slave not to laugh at your poop crest and not to nick your poop you must:-
  • Interfere as much as possible when she deems it to be poop cleaning time. Get in the way, climb into the dustpan, chew on the brush etc. Be as disruptive as you like.
  • Shake your head immediately your Slave places a poop in your crest and with luck the poop will hit her in the face then you can laugh at her.
  • Tell her off whenever you think she is taking away your precious poop. Wheek loudly at her so that she will be deafened by your super loud wheeking and will have to retreat so that she can think straight..
I trust that the above information will assist you in your plight.

Your friend in a crisis

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Dear Miss Bramble,
Thank you for your advice.
I haven’t felt like wheeking much lately, but maybe I should start again.
Loki and I have been enjoying lots of rumble offs.
I did manage a little nip earlier when the hooman surprised me picking up more poo. I am planning on staying well away from hooman hands collecting poo for a longtime. Hooomans are strange creatures….. I wonder what they do with all the poo?!

(Shhhh….. please don’t tell anyone about the science experiment, Hamish told me about it having to be restarted after spring destruction 2 years ago, let’s hope it’s not discovered this year.)

Wheeks
Wally werepig
 
Dear Wally Werepig,
You still look very handsome even with poo on your lovely crest.
I would pignap you and save you from your terrible slave if I lived closer, then you and Sir George could have lots of rumble offs.
Love from,
The Beastie Boys slave.
 
fluffysal said:
Dear Wally Werepig,
You still look very handsome even with poo on your lovely crest.
I would pignap you and save you from your terrible slave if I lived closer, then you and Sir George could have lots of rumble offs.
Love from,
The Beastie Boys slave.
Click to expand...
No you wouldn't! I'm the piggynapper on this forum! Wally Werepig is MINE!:box::box::box:
 
Betsy said:
Dear Wally Werepig

How very dare your Slave laugh at you when she dropped a poop on your magnificent crest. A crest is a wonderful thing to have and you are blessed to have one. Not all piggies do. The founder of the GPU The Ever Beautiful Betsy had an extra special crest because it was multi-coloured. You are quite right us piggies are a superior species and need to be treated with respect. As for taking away all your poops well that just isn't on. Doesn't she realise that we do secret scientific experiments with our poop?

To teach your Slave not to laugh at your poop crest and not to nick your poop you must:-
  • Interfere as much as possible when she deems it to be poop cleaning time. Get in the way, climb into the dustpan, chew on the brush etc. Be as disruptive as you like.
  • Shake your head immediately your Slave places a poop in your crest and with luck the poop will hit her in the face then you can laugh at her.
  • Tell her off whenever you think she is taking away your precious poop. Wheek loudly at her so that she will be deafened by your super loud wheeking and will have to retreat so that she can think straight..
I trust that the above information will assist you in your plight.

Your friend in a crisis

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
Click to expand...
I would add to those, next time she picks you up for a "health check" (haha), wait until your bum is pointing towards her and drop a poop (or several if you've time) straight down her front so she has to undress to remove them. Then you can have a good laugh at her embarrassment 😳 🤣
 
Qualcast&Flymo said:
I would add to those, next time she picks you up for a "health check" (haha), wait until your bum is pointing towards her and drop a poop (or several if you've time) straight down her front so she has to undress to remove them. Then you can have a good laugh at her embarrassment 😳 🤣
Click to expand...
Thank you for your superb suggestion….
I might try this later.
Wheeks Wally.
 
AidaB said:
View attachment 266656

Dear Miss Bramble,
Send help please, the hooman is laughing, and won’t stop. She took it into her head to collect all my lovely poo, this happens every day- she takes them away,so I make more!
Well while she was collecting my poo beans, she dropped a few & look….. if I wanted a poo in my crest I would have put one there. I am disgusted & feel I need to be treated with respect, not laughed at for some mistake she made.

Yours hopefully,
Wheeks, but no poo payments to send today.
( they’ve been stolen).
From Wally werepig.
Click to expand...

Dear Wally you still look good even with a poo crown.
 
Qualcast&Flymo said:
I would add to those, next time she picks you up for a "health check" (haha), wait until your bum is pointing towards her and drop a poop (or several if you've time) straight down her front so she has to undress to remove them. Then you can have a good laugh at her embarrassment 😳 🤣
Click to expand...
Master Boris can testify that dropping a fresh warm poo into a cleavage works nicely......especially if you accompany it with a big smelly chuff!
 
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